Today's "Word Of The Day": DEFEATED


de·feat - [dih-feet] 

verb (used with object) overcome in a contest, election, battle, etc.; prevail over; vanquish: They defeated the enemy. She defeated her brother at tennis. frustrate; thwart. eliminate or deprive of something expected: The early returns defeated his hopes of election.
4.Law. to annul.


5.the act of overcoming in a contest: an overwhelming defeat of all opposition. instance of defeat; setback: He considered his defeat a personal affront. overthrow or overturning; vanquishment: the defeat of a government.
8.a bringing to naught; frustration: the defeat of all his hopes and dreams.
9.the act or event of being bested; losing: Defeat is not something she abides easily.
10.Archaic. undoing; destruction; ruin.
 Well, half the week is over, I really wish it would just hurry the hell up already and be over. I am having a rotten day, I feel like I am literally under the boot of life, beaten and battered and unable to get up. Its amazing how you think things are going to be ok and then WHAM! the chair is kicked from under you and you are looking like an idiot with egg on her face. 
  I have had many people tell me not to let this stuff get me down, to reopen my store and to just go on and not care what other people think. It is really hard to get through to them, maybe writing this I can just say what I need to and be done with it all. The single most hurtful and really the thing I struggle most with the entire situation is that the person is someone I know, most likely trusted and maybe even considered a friend. It is what I toss around in my head over and over that someone who I trusted decided that everything I worked hard for over 2 and a half years had to go because I made a mistake. It is really simple to say they are jealous, call them haters and tell me to get over. Thing is I CANT. I care, its who I am, I am the kind of person who doesnt hide behind anonymous crap so the fact that I dont know who has such a axe to grind with me, it eats at me and I am sure this is exactly what they wanted, so bravo.
  My friend Gaby was trying to show me how much support I still have out there and posted a survey online asking people if they bought stuff from em in the past, if they would in the future and the like and again my old friend anonymous had to put their own 2 cents in there on that too. I really didn't understand how much you truly dislike me until she shared with me your words.  Calling me a joke and making sure to elaborate on how I am the laughing stock of the community really opened my eyes to things I think I have been trying to avoid. I am sorry you feel the need to kick a person when they are down, I may suggest you take a bit and look inside yourself to see what is going on that you feel you have the right to be like this to other people. 
  So to Gaby, to my parents, my twin, my kids, I wont be opening any store for kids anytime ever. I enjoy building this absolutely wounds me that I need to do this but besides crafting a gift for my grandkids or friends kids, I don't see this as a viable avenue in my future. I feel as though all the work and time I put into things I created isn't worth a thing anymore because of one stupid choice I made (which I have very openly apologized for so yeah anonymous I owned up to it because I am an adult and we adults do that sort of thing).  My heart is breaking as I write this because I truly loved contributing something to Second Life, I was proud that someday when I felt I didn't need to play anymore, a part of me would remain there. But now I feel like I am leaving a legacy to be ashamed of, I truly feel defeated when I just am trying to get through life. 
  So yeah, you there who has that shit eating grin on your face, no worries I wont be making anything overpriced and low quality for you to worry yourself over in the future, you win. If making a huge mistake over a year ago makes me a loser then a loser I must be. Id love to tell you to kiss my ass and get on with things, but really, you are a ghost... and I have more class than that.

Today's "Word Of The Day": EMPATHY

em·pa·thy - [em-puh-thee] 

1. the intellectual identification with or vicarious experiencing of the feelings, thoughts, or attitudes of another.
Another week, well Sunday is Easter, I suppose I should search my recipes for something to cook the boyface and starfish... Only bad thing about having a tiny family is that all my holiday recipes feed a lot more than the 3 of us. I usually feed my neighbor but he is battling Kidney and Bladder Cancer, so he can't eat most things anymore. 
  Anyway, thoughts for today circle around Empathy and Compassion and how I notice those too are things that really need to be interjected more into our daily lives, whether in the computer or the real world, how we treat others is truly a reflection of who we are and how we are feeling. I was raised in a unique way, in unique places and not really by my parents. My life could have turned out a much different way than it is with me a sincerely worse person. Growing up in the California Foster Care System, I saw and was exposed to some things, I would not wish on anyone else. I watched a girl I shared a room with get raped by another boy in our institution when I was 14 and had to testify against him in court after I reported him to the people running the group home I lived in at the time. I have seen people who I lived with and experienced that part of our life with go down many different roads of live, some criminal and some in the service of others. I have chosen to share bits of who I am to try to give comfort and direction to others who are conflicted or struggling in key moments of their life.
  All the good things I know though, I know from my Grandma, my Nano... she was a really insightful person who had the basic mantra of "Do unto others as you would have them do unto you". Meaning, treat people as you want to be treated... or as I tell my daughter, the best way to have good friends and people in your life is to be good to them. Simple principle isnt it? But something people forget, we take one another for granted to a point, we believe whether we are kind or not, things will work out favorably for us. That is not the case, if we want good in our lives, we must work for it, we must surround ourselves with people who reflect the type of person we want to be.... we must show empathy and compassion for others who are in low points in their journey.... we must do what we can to make life better for not only ourselves, but for others.
  I wonder sometimes how some of us come to forget this simple rule and way of life, why to others people are interchangeable and are rendered useless when they have either fulfilled their purpose or no longer serve as a means to achieving their desired goal.  I think because of my bipolar I see things in a really matter of fact way. I am one of those people who is just right to the point and honest, but this is not the case for so many. So when people deviate from that kind of thinking, for me, I have a difficult time comprehending their actions. 
  His Holiness the Dalai Lama said it best "Be kind whenever possible. It is always possible." We need to stop and remember we are not alone on this planet, we certainly are not the center of this universe so how we choose to treat the people we come in contact, whether those we know or not, we have control over how their experience is with us. I make a conscious effort to do the best I can for those around me. It may not always feel good, sometimes it requires being brutally honest in helping guide them back to a good path, but in the end your life should feel full and yes, happy. We all deserve it, even those who seem to want to infect our lives with misery... happiness is a true God given right, no matter who's God you recognize (or even if you recognize no God at all).


SL Disneybound Blogger Challenge – Week 2 – Ariel

On the other side of the door
I can be a different me,
As smart and as brave and as funny or strong
As a person could want to be.
There’s nothing too hard for me to do,
There’s no place I can’t explore
Because everything can happen
On the other side of the door.

On the other side of the door
I don’t have to go alone.
If you come, too, we can sail tall ships
And fly where the wind has flown.
And wherever we go, it is almost sure
We’ll find what we’re looking for
Because everything can happen
On the other side of the door.

The Plastik-FLF-Astrali Skin:// Plute
/Wasabi Pills/ Julia Mesh Hair - Rouge
[Gos] Boutique - Barefeet - Flat
Blueberry Sena *Mesh* Skinny Jeans Army
Daisies & Denim - Little Pink Hairbow
MG - Eyelashes - Groomed - Medium - BLACK
*League* Wanderer Bracelet -Wrist (6 Strands) R
UNISEX[MANDALA]STEKING_ears_ver2 (wear me to unpack)
.ID. Glare Eyes / TMD / Green
[CheerNo] Body . Freckles Soft
Letis Tattoo :: Algol :: fullbody Tattoo MM12004 50%
AUSHKA&CO-My Sweet Tote-Light Brown
Pose: bang! FLF Simple 1e
Location: It all starts with a smile sim

Today's "Word Of The Day": JUSTIFICATION


jus·ti·fi·ca·tion - [juhs-tuh-fi-key-shuhn] 

1.a reason, fact, circumstance, or explanation that justifies or defends: His insulting you was ample justification for you to leave the party.

Happy Caturday kids!
  Something has been nagging me a lot lately and I thought I would just put it out there for everyone to ponder and maybe help me to understand because I have a hard time wrapping my mind around it. I wonder about the level of entitlement and justification I see people take a hold of in Second Life with the way they treat others. I saw it mostly when I had my store, people who felt because they were spending their lindens they had the right to ask for the most insane things. If you didn't accommodate they threatened, belittled or even slandered your good name.
  Like with the arcade event, people put so much of their money in something they know is not guaranteed to give you a "rare" item or such yet they feel entitled and justified to IM you and harass you demanding you give them what they want. No I am sorry, you have free will, no one put a gun to your head, you did not have to spend 5k on the super awesome tea set.... get over it. You are spending real money on not real goods you have to remember this is a virtual world and though many, including myself at one time, depend on your doing this, you do not by any means HAVE TO.
  I ask this because I struggle with my situation a lot these days, I miss working so much and I still have items that my cousin gave me as well as things I purchased from in-world mesh creators I would love to be able to complete and sell on the market again. I miss having my store, I know some people miss me having it there... I get the occasional IM or note card asking if I will ever create again. I want to say I don't care what people think but the truth is, I do. It is not a switch I can just flip and turn off caring, it is part of who I am.
  What makes people feel they are entitled to ruin someone's SL and pretty much their livelihood over something so trivial as making a mistake and using items from the internet that you purchased? I know for a fact others have made this mistake, so what made me so special I needed to be put on trial and made an example of? What makes people think they have the right to be judge and jury over the other people just trying to get by and be happy? We all as human beings judge others, I don't care what you say but when it gets to a point it is truly effecting and causing a negative effect on another persons life, you have to stand back and think is this the person I truly want to be?
  Personally, I want to make a positive and lasting good effect on the people I come in contact with in life. Be it on the computer or in the real world I want my life to matter more than "Oh shes that idiot who bought some stuff off turbo squid and sold it on Second Life." I want to be someone who makes others feel like they matter, I want to help make their life happier, more fulfilled.... I don't know I sound like a huge geek right now don't I?
  I don't know maybe you can help me out there in the interwebs figure out a direction to go in. Do I keep making furniture for kids and family because it is something I love, or should I just move on. Do something else or god forbid leave SL and just go be happy in the real world. Id really like your all's imput because well sometimes it helps to have strangers give like advice or whatever. As always, thank you so much for listening and taking time out to read my insights.


Today's "Word Of The Day": SERENITY


se·ren·i·ty - [suh-ren-i-tee] 

1.the state or quality of being serene, calm, or tranquil; sereneness.
Well happy Friday kids!
  This week started off fast till Wednesday but then boy howdy did it crawl the rest of the week.  I think my week of vacation and Disneyland fun really threw me all out of whack. But the weekend is here so I am going to try to catch up on some sleep and just relax with some friends in the real world. My boyface has a friend who's wife is about to give birth like any time now.... god I remember those days. I certainly do not miss being up all night with a newborn but I am sad because my Sammi is growing up and since she is my last kiddo, I wish I could hold onto her littleness a bit longer. 
  Ive been trying to find inner peace and calmness lately, which has been interesting considering I am waging a all out war with my inner demons all the time. But I think in order to get to a place of just living in the moment, you have to find peace with the things in life you have no control over. Its been interesting and I am learning I am really an impatient person who desires a level of  instant gratification that comes when I need some sort of .... I guess closure or satisfaction right now. It is the spoiled brat in me, go figure there is one inside all that mess. 
  I have struggled this week because I accomplished building things for some friends and family and I am really proud of them but I am so paralyzed by the fear of people making an issue out of me actually making something I just put it in my inventory and go about my day. I wish I didn't care what other people thought about me so much, it really is just something I am increasingly frustrated by. Well maybe someday Ill find my mojo again I don't know, was nice to create something from a mix of meshes I made with a mesh oven (Kind of like a prim oven but for mesh) and some pieces from old projects. Been a hoot I tell ya, maybe someday Ill feel confident enough to show them off, for now I guess they are for me and the people I made them for. Either way I felt mighty productive and I haven't felt that in a long while. 
Anyway you have a great night all!

Today's "Word Of The Day": FORGIVENESS


for·give·ness - [fer-giv-nis] 

1.act of forgiving; state of being forgiven
  Today's word is a doozy kids, cause it is something I struggle to do every day of my life.  There is just times where you feel you were done wrong, you hold onto that feeling and hold a grudge, it is really difficult to let go of. I am like the queen of grudges, something I have tried to get past all my life. But sometimes, I just fall back on my old mantra "once they hurt you they always hurt you", its a protection mechanism and it has got me by relatively well in life I am sad to say.
  The draw back to my holding these grudges is I have built huge walls to protect my emotional self. I mean don't get me wrong, I talk the talk really well, I am super friendly and I can even be downright nice to people who have in the past thrown me head-first under a bus. But inside I am seething with ill will. I hate feeling like that, its like a cancer that at times gets out of control. I fear I have missed out on some good friendships in my life because of my inability to really truly forgive a person.
  Don't get me wrong, my self preservation has at times gone on vacation, and I have forgiven people I probably shouldn't, Lately, the little person in my head who sometimes sounds like my ex and has a really big mouth has done the Will and Grace "I Told You So" dance more than once. And I feel stupid for letting them in my life. But hey, its part of growing, and growing is something you do your entire life. 
  I am trying really hard to shut down that inner monologue and just go with things more in life, trying to give people the benefit of the doubt and stuff. I mean hey, if I grow and change with my experiences, why can't they too right? I just sometimes feel like I am running this race, trying to protect my emotions and enjoy life more and I feel like I am sadly losing the battle to just get things together and be a whole person. 
  I wish people just could be more upfront and honest with one another and put the opportunist, sneaky, snarky stuff on the back burner for a while. I see so much of it on Plurk and in Second Life and it really just gets overwhelming sometimes. I really am having a harder time than ever knowing who I can trust in my life, it is really very scary sometimes. And frankly, this lady is just too damn hold to play a bunch of games just to realize someone isn't worth the time and effort, ya know?
  Anyway that's the ranting I have been dealing with today, I do forgive the people who have hurt me these past months and hope they find the peace in their lives they are lacking. I just know the grudges I have tried to fight will most likely be sitting at the front door if someone comes knocking offering apologies. I don't think I have it in me right now to truly just "let it all go". I'm trying though, have to give me that.


Today's "Word Of The Day": PERSERVERANCE


noun per·se·ver·ance -[pur-suh-veer-uhns]

 1.steady persistence in a course of action, a purpose, a state, etc., especially in spite of difficulties, obstacles, or discouragement.

Well kids another day is over, I for one am pooped. My Meniere's Disease has been kicking my butt lately, too much vertigo and ear ringing for one person, you would swear I spent my youth in all of the raves ever. Really very tired of feeling tired and sick all the time but what can a girl do, right?

  Today's word is something I have over time grown to appreciate. A persons ability to persevere through hard times. Just when you think the muddy boot of life has pushed you down as far as you can go, shockingly it is when you really find out the stuff you are made of. I have watched it in others and have found this ability in myself time and time again.

  More so with Second Life than any other internet based part of my virtual life, I have had to come back from times where I truly thought I just could not go on and have shocked myself with how much stronger I truly am inside. Lately I have felt more confident and at peace with the circumstances that have brought me here. I forgive those who chose to single me out and target me, who tried so hard to make a mock example of something that I have come to find so very many creators have been tapping into. Not saying it is right, just I know I am not alone in how and where I have acquired things, so I am not an example, I am just the one they chose to sink their teeth in for their own reasons.

  Now I am usually one to hold a grudge and though I am finding it way hard to not want to find the people who attacked me and have a little "Come to Jesus" moment with them, I choose to just let it go and try to be happy. I find myself wanting to create again, not sure what but something, ya know? I am really proud of myself for wanting to move on and not let those who have their own agendas drag me down, and those around me.

  I am ever so grateful for the friendships I have made over the past few months and ever more grateful for those that have solidified and grown as well. It really is true what people say, in times of hardship you truly do find who you can count on. And for them I truly am appreciative, you know who you all are so I wont bore the masses with all my fancy wording :)

  So when you feel like life has got you in a corner and you are just no ones favorite person, put on your stilettos and raise above the muck and the mess and just BE HAPPY with who you are. In that you truly will find strength and the ability to yes, Persevere in spite of the hard times. I know right now you may feel like you will never see the sunrise but I promise you, when you turn the bend you will and it will be glorious.

  Life is like a roller coaster kids, without the lows you would never know when things were at their height and fabulous. So sit back, try to be patient, the ride will get better.


Today's "Word Of The Day" : FAITH

faith - [feyth]


1. Confidence or trust in a person or thing: faith in another's ability.
 What is the one thing you have a really hard time with when it comes to other people? For me, I have a hell of a time trusting people. I guess it comes from the people I have been exposed to in life, I am not sure. I just know it is really hard for me to put myself out there and trust another person completely. I have been with Ken for 5 years now and I still waver in my trust at times. Its not his fault, just I am always expecting the other shoe to drop I guess.
  Trust comes with having faith in a person that you can bear your soul, give a part of yourself to them and trust that in the end they will treasure the gift that is your friendship with them.  My problem is when I get to the point that I feel comfortable giving a piece of myself to them, they usually do something and completely wreck my ability to put faith in them. Yeah, I hold grudges too which I struggle so hard to not do, but ya know... sometimes its hard to teach an old dog a new trick.
  I wasn't always this way, I was a really forgiving human being, if you apologized and I thought you meant it, I forgave you. It kind of left me in a place where I ended up being a bit of a doormat, as in you could just walk all over me.  I hated it, I hated how it made me feel.... I learned that I taught the people around me how to treat me, and at that time I wasn't really doing a good job in saying "Hey, I am a pretty OK person, be nice." So I ended up kind of with this big ass boot print on my face, philosophically speaking. 
  Ive gotten better with trying to give people the benefit of the doubt and put some faith in them. Sometimes it works out and I have some really quality folk in my life... sometimes I am horribly disappointed and have some people I shouldn't have wasted time on. But, the thing with disappointment, you learn what you DON'T want in others, what you WON'T put up with from them. Its a funny thing about life no matter how old you are, you can have a life lesson. I am also learning that for those who disappoint me, to forgive them, let them go, and move on. It is amazing how you hurt from someones actions for so long and one day you realize you are going to be OK, you don't miss that in your life and you appreciate those around you all the more.  
  I spent a wonderful vacation with my Ken and my Sammi and I have a wonderful memory. None of that would have been as special if I hadn't put faith in Ken when I got to know him. Trusted that he loved me and Sammi and wanted to make a family with us. I think I came home from that trip, though exhausted, incredibly grateful for the experience. I hope it brought us together closer than ever as a family unit. I have faith that this is where I am supposed to be and that things are going to get better for us. And that asshole voice in my head doesn't matter just a little more today than a week ago. 

Berry's Procrastination Meme - Brie Claire Noble - Kovacs

  1. What is the rez date for your current SL Avatar that you use most often? Brie Pinazzo - February 26, 2008
  2. Where was the first place you made friends as a newb and got to know people in Second Life? Oddly, Hard Alley's School for Delinquent Girls (Now called Hard Alley's Reform School) I actually met my real life boyfriend there, we have been together 5 years in real life now :)
  3. Where do you spend most of your SL time now? On my daughter's sim, watching them making things and being a general pest.
  4. Who is your closest friend in Second Life? (only pick one) Maddy Carissa
  5. What is the most favorite thing in your inventory? (only pick one) EarthStones Bridal - Twist of Fate Wedding Ring, it was one of the last things my Walter got me before he stopped playing Second Life.
  6. The last thing you purchased in Second Life? LISP  Oh Mr Waters Sofa
  7. What color clothing does your avatar wear most often? Lately, White
  8. Do you prefer to walk, run or fly? I usually walk or double click TP cause I have vertigo and moving too much messes with my dizzies.
  9. What is the craziest thing you’ve ever done in SL? Dressed like a kid avi with Walter and my friend Sweet and we went into Mouseworld (Way back in the day when it was around) and tortured noobish people who were scared of kid avies.
  10. Who would you like to play YOU, in the movie of your SLife? Kate Winslet
Want to do your own Procrastination Meme? Read her blog here

SL Disneybound Blogger Challenge – Week 1 – Peter Pan

I wish things could always be this way.
You've got to grow up sometime, they say.
But I think we'll be kids forever.
They tell the bad boys to be good.
As if they ever could?
Or even know how.
Now look at this from my perspective.
It may not be right..
But it's the way we live.
I could stare at the clouds all day.
And forget we've got authority to obey.
Because we really don't care.
You should see the way we grin.
To survive this world we live in,
We've got to take it easy..
And growing up ain't easy.
Don't you wish we could be kids forever?
I'd like to be a kid forever. 

The Last Day of my 37th Year on This Earth

Real wicked fast blog post before I get ready to go to the airport.

So today is the last day of my 37th year of life. I look back reflecting on all the people I have met and the experience I have had and though there were some very dark times, some people I would rather not have met, I am ok with my life. Do I wish I was somewhere different? Yes. But dont we all, didnt we all want to be something amazing when we were a child? I for one wanted to be a potato chip... cause you know EVERYONE likes them. And here I am about to celebrate another year and I am a disabled mom... It could be worse, right?

Anyway I meant what I said in my blog post, I want to hear of the awesome pay it forward moments you have for my present. I want to come home from my trip absolutely amazed by the amazing things you all do for the people around you, just because.

I leave you with these words of wisdom: Beginning today, treat everyone you meet as if they were going to be dead by midnight. Extend to them all the care, kindness and understanding you can muster, and do it with no thought of any reward. Your life will never be the same again. - Og Mandino

I will see you all late in the week, have a glorious day.


Today's "Word Of The Day" : HOPE

hope - [hohp] 


1.the feeling that what is wanted can be had or that events will turn out for the best: to give up hope.
Well its finally Friday kids! 
  I will be leaving sunday for my daughter's first ever family vacation with the boyface and myself. I am pretty excited we are going to Disneyland for a few days. I know, dont miss me too much ok? I need a little time to step away from the computer and get some clarity, redefine what it is I want from life and well, to run around like a child and watch my daughter experience something amazing for the first time. 
  I had over the past month and some lost hope in people in general. I mean I have my awesome shining stars that are my close family and friends but as a whole, people just suck.  Its the mentality I have seen all my life, my mom used to beat the tar out of me, I know the neighbors heard me scream but no one did anything. Its the same in adulthood and with how we treat eachother on the internet. Most people think its not their business and so they dont need to do anything. I am sorry but it is our responsibility to take care of one another, the simple act of a hug does amazing things, can you only imagine how little leverage bullies would have if we just didnt stand for it?
  For a long time I didnt think people were really capiable of stepping outside themself and standing up for someone else unless it was to foster the errant drama or just make a huge mess. But lately I have seen people, people close to me and on plurk reaching out to give a kind word, a pixel hug... just to instill some good in the world around them. It gives me hope that the human race isnt lost after all and that people really have the potential to make a difference in eachothers lives, even if it is only on the internet.
  I sincerely hope the random acts of kindness and the genuinely good words and deeds spreads, that people pay it forward and give someone a reason to smile and to make others smile with them. My 38th birthday is monday and I will be enjoying a fleeting moment in my own real life childs life, but what I want for my birthday is for each person who is reading this, to do one nice thing for a random stranger. Be it on Second Life, Plurk or the real world. Do me a favor and tell me about it in the comments here. Do this deed and make sure to tell that person all you ask in return is that they pay it forward, that they do something good for someone random. Who knows, that persons life you touch you may be saving from committing suicide, helping brush away the clouds of depression or making a broken heart mend that much faster. We are all in control of our own destiny, take hold of yours and do something amazing with it.

Have a great weekend, Ill try to write tomorrow if not, well Ill see you late in the week.


Today's "Word Of The Day" : REGRET

re·gret [ri-gret]

verb (used with object) feel sorrow or remorse for (an act, fault, disappointment, etc.): He no sooner spoke than he regretted it. think of with a sense of loss: to regret one's vanished youth.
3.a sense of loss, disappointment, dissatisfaction, etc.
4.a feeling of sorrow or remorse for a fault, act, loss, disappointment, etc.
5.regrets, a polite, usually formal refusal of an invitation: I sent her my regrets.
6.a note expressing regret at one's inability to accept an invitation: I have had four acceptances and one regret.

Today's "Word Of The Day" : COURAGE

cour·age [kur-ij, kuhr-] 

noun -the quality of mind or spirit that enables a person to face difficulty, danger, pain, etc., without fear; bravery.
Happy mid-week everyone!
  Wow it has been quite a week, a lot of changes a lot of feeling. I can say I am in a better place than a week ago, I appreciate you allowing me to rant a little and get things out, you are better than any therapist on the market... really. Sometimes sharing your innermost demons really do not only yourself some good but those around you as well.
  I had a little note dropped to me from a gal I have never met thanking me for being so open with your all. I really didnt understand how my just having the courage to bear my soul to the masses could do good but in her case, it did. She really inspired me to continue my blog in the honest way I have been, I think it can help others like me who struggle with their inner demons and try to make sense of a senseless world.
  I think continuing to go forward and finding strength in the unique and sacred souls around me has really given me a healthier perspective on life. A friend of mine sent me a little graphic that says " Hey, If someone treats you like crap, just remember there is something wrong with them, not you. Normal people don't go around destroying other human beings." And you know what, its true. I am really glad to be rid of people who are toxic to my happiness.
  I miss my store and building but I do not miss worrying someone is going to accuse me of "copying" their idea or getting upset because god forbid I made something pink. I have more time to spend with my friends and exploring SL, taking funny pictures and just living life. Maybe in the future I will make some stuff again but I think I will stick with the grown folk, somehow I dont fit inside the kid community, and that is ok.
  Everything happens for a reason, I believe people leave your life to make room for new people to come in and make their home in your heart. I have the courage to move forward and see things with a new perspective. A more cautious one for sure but one that appreciates moments because they are usually fleeting.

  I will try to write more before sunday as I am going on a family vacation in the real world.


Ohana Means Family

They say when God closes a door, he opens a window. I never really understood that meaning fully until today. I just completed one of the best days I have had in Second Life in a very long time. In the middle of one of the hardest times Ive had in a really long time, some Amazing people picked me up, dusted me off and showed me how genuine people in Second Life can truly be.

Family is one of those special bonds you have with people. Its not something by blood or birth, its grown in your heart. I have found so many people in SL, but I have also found my family. I have a core group of people who not only do not judge and put me down, they support me and most importantly, they love me just like I am. Unconditional love is not something I am terribly used to from other people but today, I really felt it from the people around me.

I havent stopped smiling yet as I am wearing my goofy floppy hat and dancing around with these amazing people feeling so incredibly blessed to have met them and to share these random, phenomenal moments with them. I am still broken and my heart still hurts deeply, but I know with these kind special souls in my life things are going to get better and for that, I have hope.

Have a great weekend!