Berry's Monday Meme - Blog about one of your closest friends in Second Life.

  I have been very blessed to meet and make some amazing friends in my almost 6 years in second life. I met the love of my life here, I mean I can honestly say overall it is a huge positive in my life. Those people make logging on worthwhile, something I look forward to. I miss them when I am not there or they are taking real life time... it has been overall something good for me.
  Of all the people I have met (with the exception of Walter Kovacs, AKA Ken) the one truly amazing friend I have made would be Maddy Carissa. We met by the most happenstance of circumstances and from that moment on it was like we had always been friends. She has been a constant source of support and love in my life for going on 3 years now which for some in the virtual world, is a lifetime in itself.
  Last year she suffered a bad fall and for a few months she did not know not only who she was, but the people around her were. She even forgot her husband and children. It was a really very hard time in her life and I tried very hard to be there for her and her family, even though we had never really met. I was terrified that I was going to lose my friend, someone who had shared every day of my life for 2 years at that point. After a few months her memory started filtering back and eventually she remembered not only her husband and little boys, but me as well. It bonded us closer together as friends and made us family which was truly an amazing thing.
  We got the opportunity to meet this past summer when I flew to her home and spent a few weeks with her and her family. Sammi and I had an amazing time, it was a relaxed vacation just a chance to get to spend quality time with someone who has grown to be such an important part of my life. I thank God everyday I bumped into her in second life, that we were lucky enough to find eachother. I am even more grateful to have found the best friend I have ever had in my life. I know no matter where life takes me, she will be a supportive part. She is more than my friend now, she is my Sister and I love her with my whole heart.

Want to blog this meme? Read about it HERE.

Today's "Word Of The Day" - THANKFUL

THANKFUL

thank·ful - [thangk-fuhl] 

adjective

feeling or expressing gratitude; appreciative.

  I know, I know, you are wondering if I fell off the face of the earth. I didn't I swear, I just had vacation and then a frantic few weeks of getting stuff together for the Home Show that starts this coming Monday....  I fail as a consistent blogger, I hope you can forgive me.

   So I saw this blogger challenge put forth by the fabulous Dame Edith Ogleby that is right up my alley. You can read all about it HERE but basically it encourages us all to just show someone, anyone, be it someone you know or not that you are glad they are here, that you are thankful and appreciative... I love it. So in honor of this amazing thing Ill get down to the mushy stuff.

  My Twinnie, Maddy Carissa

  It was fate that this lady and I met almost 3 years ago. She had adopted a child who used to be mine and stumbled into my old store, Tiny Spaces and then began her stalking me a little bit. What one would have thought creepy I found hysterical because as most people know, I am a bit of a hermit and kind of shy until I know you better. Her and I clicked from the get go and we have been inseparable ever since.  Sometimes you just meet someone and from day one, you feel like you have known each other forever. We had the luck of getting to meet in real life earlier this month and for 2 whole weeks we were joined at the hip, when I came home I cried like a baby and I am trying so hard to find a way to just get back there to spend more time with her. She has been my constant support, saw me through some very hard times in my last few years and is someone I know no matter what she will always have my back when the chips are down. I love her big she is my sister in every way that matters. 

My Husband, Walter Kovacs

  Who says you can't meet the love of your life on a sex driven sim in Second Life? I was really lucky to say I did. We met in the strangest of places, our relationship is anything but conventional but I really dont know what I would do or where I would be if our paths had never crossed. I never met someone who loves me as unconditionally as you do. I have tried to push you away time after time and like the perverbial rock, there you stay. I love how you look at me and how we fit together just right when we cuddle up to sleep. You make me feel like I can do anything, I can never thank you enough for choosing to spend your life with me and helping me raise Sammi to be an amazing adult. I sincerely can not wait to see what the future brings us, I love you always.

And Everybody Else....

  I really can't just list all of you and so I will just say here, to the people I have met in Second Life and on Plurk be it good or bad, thank you for touching my life. The loves of my life have brought me such immense joy I can never express how much it cheers me up to just share a few moments with each of you every day. To the ones who have hurt me, I thank you for the lessons your pain has taught me, for showing me who is valued to my life and how to be able to shake off the hurt and just move forward. You all have changed me so much in the 5 and a half years and Id like to think overall, it has been for the best. You have made me a more appreciative, honest and compassionate person and I am very thankful for the experiences I have had with each of you no matter how small.

Have an amazing weekend.
XOXO,
Brie
 

Today's "Word Of The Day": GENEROSITY

GENEROSITY

gen·er·os·i·ty - [jen-uh-ros-i-tee] 

noun, plural gen·er·os·i·ties.

1.readiness or liberality in giving.

2.freedom from meanness or smallness of mind or character.

3.a generous act: We thanked him for his many generosities.

4.largeness or fullness; amplitude.

  Well this week started off to a rocky start. My thoughts and prayers go out to the victims in Boston and Iraq with the bombings this past Monday. It really makes one stop and think about what is really important in life. The little things we spend so much energy on, the drama's and fights we pursue... are they really that important? I have kept my Plurk and SL kind of in a bubble so I don't see all the unpleasantness but I notice others really are being bogged down by it. Life is really just too short to spend one moment dealing with someone who is only trying to spread misery to those around you. If we all just stopped for a moment and did one thing to spread a little joy and happiness... could you imagine how much more enjoyable life could be?
  I challenge you all who read this to do 1 selfless act for a complete stranger this week. Whether it is buying coffee for the person behind you at starbucks or helping someone load their groceries in their car, do SOMETHING that gives you joy inside your heart and puts a smile on another persons face. You can post about it in the comments, on plurk, or not at all. All I ask is you try to promote generosity and good will toward the people you come in contact every day. All you should ask that they do in return is to pay it forward and do a kind deed for another person. You can do this in the real world or in Second Life. I just think the world in general is bogged down with so much negativity that we are losing sight of the good that still exists in this world. No one is going to change it for you, so it is up to all of us to go out there and try to do our part.
  I hope you have a better week world. Please don't let the actions of a few sick, misled persons dull the light you carry inside you. Know that for every evil deed being done, 10 amazing miracles are happening elsewhere on this giant rock we call home. And know this one lady in Phoenix, sitting in the dark typing to you all, has faith that there is still good to be found.

XOXO,
Brie

Today's "Word Of The Day": RESILIENCE

RESILIENCE

re·sil·ience - [ri-zil-yuhns, -zil-ee-uhns] 

noun

1.the power or ability to return to the original form, position, etc., after being bent, compressed, or stretched; elasticity.

2.ability to recover readily from illness, depression, adversity, or the like; buoyancy.

 

 Happy Caturday all!

  I have had quite an interesting week. Most of it has been taking care of Ken and Sammi, who both decided it would be fun to get sick, lets hope they didn't share. But the week ended on one of the highest notes ever in my Second Life history. I woke up today with a smile, confident that things are going to get better, and all the low points over the last few months have been worth it. It has made me a better person and shown me some amazing friends that I knew I had but really didnt know how valued they were to me.

  Without my friends and family I would not have started building again, I wouldnt have had the courage to learn mesh and to continue learning to become a better content creator. Id like to think my love and happiness is showing through in the items I have put out to sell under a new name and new style of furniture for me. I am taking my love of reusing things in new and creative ways into Second Life and offering individual pieces that I hope will add character to homes on the grid. 

  These things are like me, once looked upon as useless and with no value but with some creativity and a different outlook can be made new and functional and yes, needed. I named my new store [Noble] because Noble has such a strong meaning, that of not only being distinguished and royal (which I am certainly not) but being of good moral character (which I try hard to be). It is also my family name, that of my Parents, Noah and Blossom Noble. These two people have given me so much strength and love since the moment I met them. I really dont know what would have happened if I did not have them, my siblings, my children and grandchildren loving and supporting me. 

 

  Everyone should have a good, stable support system in their life and before I came to Second Life, I did not have that kind of support system. I have parents, family... but I do not talk with them. They chose themselves and superficial things and not the core meaning that is family. I never felt welcome or a part of a family unit until recently. My family in real life (Besides my Grandma, Sammi and Ken of course) put a price on their love, I had to be what they wanted in order to be worthy of their love. It always made me feel like a failure as a person, that I was never enough for them so how could I be enough for anyone else in my life. These amazing people have shown me that love is something you give freely, it wraps you like a blanket and helps keep you safe and offer a buffer to the hate and ugliness that can exist in the real world. 

 I really can not ever tell my amazing Noble family how much I have appreciated being a part of your family and part of your lives. You have given me a truly precious gift, one I cherish above anything else. Without you all, I dont think I would feel 1/4 as happy as I do. I only hope to repay you all someday for your kindness, not sure how I will but I will certainly try. I love you all more than I could express on this blog. You are amazing people and I feel truly blessed to know each and every one of you.

 

XOXO,

Brie

 If you would like to visit [Noble], here is a link.

Today's "Word Of The Day": OPTIMISTIC

OPTIMISTIC

op·ti·mis·tic - [op-tuh-mis-tik]

adjective

1.disposed to take a favorable view of events or conditions and to expect the most favorable outcome.

2.reflecting a favorable view of events and conditions and the expectation of a positive outcome; demonstrating optimism: an optimistic plan.

 

 Hello Stranger!

  Sorry I havent written in a bit, I have been BUILDING! It feels great to be making things again and learning something new. My daughter, Carter (In her attempt to nudge me back to work I think)  got this amazing little in-world gadget for me called a mesh studio. It works similar to a prim oven... you build what you want out of prims, add their script and voila! you are handed a mesh file outside of sl to import into blender or whatever you choose to work with. Its been great fun learning and I have found I can make a lot of things this way. It has done a lot for my overall mood and general happiness level. 

   I never thought of myself much of an optimist, I am by nature a realist... meaning I see things in the absolute logical way which isnt always healthy, dreaming is a good thing too. I am really trying to break out of that train of thought and trying to see things in a more positive light. I must admit for all the good I feel creating the little things I have, I am overwhelmingly paranoid that something is going to happen again and for me to stay on my guard. But, I am a creative person and trying to hold back that part of myself is like asking a bird not to fly... just not going to happen.

   So anyway I hope you all have an amazing week, I am going to do my best to do so. 

 

XOXO,

Brie 

Today's "Word Of The Day" : BLESSING

BLESSING

bless·ing - [bles-ing]

noun

1.the act or words of a person who blesses.

2.a special favor, mercy, or benefit: the blessings of liberty.

3.a favor or gift bestowed by God, thereby bringing happiness.

4.the invoking of God's favor upon a person: The son was denied his father's blessing.

 

 Hope everyone's week has started off on a good foot. I am recovering from my Easter holiday and making adorable bunny face pot pies for my family. They were not only adorable and tasty, but made my daughter smile which kind of takes the ache of not having family at the holidays go away a little. I hope all who celebrated Easter and Passover this past weekend enjoyed and cherished this time with their family, remember nothing is forever so cherish the small things like holidays because they may not always be as they are now. 

  I also spent part of my day with my Second Life Family. Though my parents celebrate Passover they made an Easter celebration that really brought back memories of my childhood, before my life got so complicated, where the most important part was how much candy was in my basket. I truly felt so blessed and humbled to have such exceptional people in my life. Even though the past few months have had many, many, low points; standing with people who loved me with no agenda of their own... I felt really lucky. Life has a way of righting itself even when you can't see the light at the end of the tunnel.  

  I really can never express to them how much I love and cherish having them in my life. They truly have saved me, even if they do not realize it. If it wasn't for them, Sammi and Ken I would have succumbed to my depression long ago and I don't think I would be here writing this to you right now. I know finding genuine and good people are rare, even more rare in Second Life... it is part why I really honor the friendship and family you have bestowed on me. I only hope someday to be able to convey to you how much you all mean to me.

 

XOXO,

Brie 

Today's "Word Of The Day": FORGIVENESS

FORGIVENESS

for·give·ness - [fer-giv-nis] 

noun

1.act of forgiving; state of being forgiven. 

 

  Today's word is a doozy kids, cause it is something I struggle to do every day of my life.  There is just times where you feel you were done wrong, you hold onto that feeling and hold a grudge, it is really difficult to let go of. I am like the queen of grudges, something I have tried to get past all my life. But sometimes, I just fall back on my old mantra "once they hurt you they always hurt you", its a protection mechanism and it has got me by relatively well in life I am sad to say.

  The draw back to my holding these grudges is I have built huge walls to protect my emotional self. I mean don't get me wrong, I talk the talk really well, I am super friendly and I can even be downright nice to people who have in the past thrown me head-first under a bus. But inside I am seething with ill will. I hate feeling like that, its like a cancer that at times gets out of control. I fear I have missed out on some good friendships in my life because of my inability to really truly forgive a person.

  Don't get me wrong, my self preservation has at times gone on vacation, and I have forgiven people I probably shouldn't, Lately, the little person in my head who sometimes sounds like my ex and has a really big mouth has done the Will and Grace "I Told You So" dance more than once. And I feel stupid for letting them in my life. But hey, its part of growing, and growing is something you do your entire life. 

  I am trying really hard to shut down that inner monologue and just go with things more in life, trying to give people the benefit of the doubt and stuff. I mean hey, if I grow and change with my experiences, why can't they too right? I just sometimes feel like I am running this race, trying to protect my emotions and enjoy life more and I feel like I am sadly losing the battle to just get things together and be a whole person. 

  I wish people just could be more upfront and honest with one another and put the opportunist, sneaky, snarky stuff on the back burner for a while. I see so much of it on Plurk and in Second Life and it really just gets overwhelming sometimes. I really am having a harder time than ever knowing who I can trust in my life, it is really very scary sometimes. And frankly, this lady is just too damn hold to play a bunch of games just to realize someone isn't worth the time and effort, ya know?

  Anyway that's the ranting I have been dealing with today, I do forgive the people who have hurt me these past months and hope they find the peace in their lives they are lacking. I just know the grudges I have tried to fight will most likely be sitting at the front door if someone comes knocking offering apologies. I don't think I have it in me right now to truly just "let it all go". I'm trying though, have to give me that.

XOXO,

Brie

Today's "Word Of The Day": PERSERVERANCE

PERSERVERANCE

noun per·se·ver·ance -[pur-suh-veer-uhns]

 1.steady persistence in a course of action, a purpose, a state, etc., especially in spite of difficulties, obstacles, or discouragement.


Well kids another day is over, I for one am pooped. My Meniere's Disease has been kicking my butt lately, too much vertigo and ear ringing for one person, you would swear I spent my youth in all of the raves ever. Really very tired of feeling tired and sick all the time but what can a girl do, right?

  Today's word is something I have over time grown to appreciate. A persons ability to persevere through hard times. Just when you think the muddy boot of life has pushed you down as far as you can go, shockingly it is when you really find out the stuff you are made of. I have watched it in others and have found this ability in myself time and time again.

  More so with Second Life than any other internet based part of my virtual life, I have had to come back from times where I truly thought I just could not go on and have shocked myself with how much stronger I truly am inside. Lately I have felt more confident and at peace with the circumstances that have brought me here. I forgive those who chose to single me out and target me, who tried so hard to make a mock example of something that I have come to find so very many creators have been tapping into. Not saying it is right, just I know I am not alone in how and where I have acquired things, so I am not an example, I am just the one they chose to sink their teeth in for their own reasons.

  Now I am usually one to hold a grudge and though I am finding it way hard to not want to find the people who attacked me and have a little "Come to Jesus" moment with them, I choose to just let it go and try to be happy. I find myself wanting to create again, not sure what but something, ya know? I am really proud of myself for wanting to move on and not let those who have their own agendas drag me down, and those around me.

  I am ever so grateful for the friendships I have made over the past few months and ever more grateful for those that have solidified and grown as well. It really is true what people say, in times of hardship you truly do find who you can count on. And for them I truly am appreciative, you know who you all are so I wont bore the masses with all my fancy wording :)

  So when you feel like life has got you in a corner and you are just no ones favorite person, put on your stilettos and raise above the muck and the mess and just BE HAPPY with who you are. In that you truly will find strength and the ability to yes, Persevere in spite of the hard times. I know right now you may feel like you will never see the sunrise but I promise you, when you turn the bend you will and it will be glorious.

  Life is like a roller coaster kids, without the lows you would never know when things were at their height and fabulous. So sit back, try to be patient, the ride will get better.

XOXO,
Brie

Today's "Word Of The Day" : REGRET

re·gret [ri-gret]

verb (used with object)

1.to feel sorrow or remorse for (an act, fault, disappointment, etc.): He no sooner spoke than he regretted it.

2.to think of with a sense of loss: to regret one's vanished youth.

noun

3.a sense of loss, disappointment, dissatisfaction, etc.

4.a feeling of sorrow or remorse for a fault, act, loss, disappointment, etc.

5.regrets, a polite, usually formal refusal of an invitation: I sent her my regrets.

6.a note expressing regret at one's inability to accept an invitation: I have had four acceptances and one regret.

We All Have Issues

  We all have our own demons to bear, our own insecurities, our own fears. Sometimes they become overwhelming and you can no longer fight the voice in your head. You know, the one that screams you are worthless and a failure. That you are unworthy of love, that everyone leaves, that you are better off dead. It is this struggle I am currently going through I dont want it to win and I am trying so very hard to win and feel normal again but I fear this time it is going overwhelm me and win.
  I have a really huge fear of being abandoned by people, and over the 5 years now that I have been in SL I have made many phenomenal life-long friendships but I have also had one too many people leave me behind for different reasons. Sometimes it is for the best and I dont feel so bad about it and sometimes, well it breaks your heart.
  I have had to endure this lately with my real life and my second life. I have lost 2 real life people who werent always easy to deal with, but they were a valued part of our lives. They are in a better place now and no longer sick and suffering so that is really for the best. But I have lost friends and people I considered family, these things have completely broken my spirit. I know it shouldnt and I really should not give people this kind of power over me. But over time you grow trust and faith in a person and to have them think nothing more of you than gum on their shoe, it is really just a reality check I was not prepared for.
  I sit here taking stock of my life as of current and I am really not liking where I am in it. I am almost 38 years old, I am sick, poor, fat. I have a wonderful boyfriend who never wants to get married even though I desperately do. I had a store I was proud of but because some jealous or hateful people wanted to I guess make an example of me for my mistake, I gave that up. There was no longer joy in making things for people, whether I bought them off the internet or Marketplace. I have been robbed of my joy and I guess the illusion of how I wanted my life to be. It is a really hard slap in my face that I just am not sure I can recover from.
  I still log on SL now not because I love being there but because it is habit, because there are people I can not bear to lose touch with... It is a place full of hurt and artificial people. Someone asked today on Plurk if I could go back and tell my young self something, what would it be? I would tell me not to ever log on Second Life. I would tell myself for my sanity and for my heart to stay in tact to find something else to do. I know in doing that I would lose my beloved Walter, my best friend Maddy and my amazing SL Children Carter, Kendall and Birdie and so so many others who have touched my life. But right now all I see is the negatives of this place, I am overwhelmed with the saddness I feel because things just arent how I THINK they should be.

  As for my recently departed internet child, I wish her luck but I have to close the door on that chapter of our life. I have given you many chances to think things through and find direction, but in the end you end up crushing my heart. I have gone out of my way for you more than anyone I have met besides Walter. I have fed you when I was poor, logged on to sit with you when I was tired, sat up late nights listening to you rant about your problems. I really just needed your friendship right now and in the end, you could not deem me worthy of it. I am not worthy of your time, of your ear, of your shoulder. This isnt the first time you have left me when I needed a friend. I try to tell myself it is because you are so young, you still need to grow up and learn the value of friendship. But in the end, I just wasnt worth the effort and that hurts the absolute most. I hope that your future brings you amazing things and many new experiences, and yes... even growth. You have a lot of potential as a person but in the end it is the simplest advice I can give in these words. In order to have good friends you have to be a good friend. I think I did my part, maybe I didnt and in that I failed you but as much as my heart aches for you in my life, I will not wait around for you to think that I am worthy of your time and your friendship. I was always worthy of it, you just failed to see that.
  For everyone else reading this I am very sorry you have to and I promise this too will pass and I will be upbeat and fabulous again someday soon. I just need to let the sad out, to shed my tears, to bandage up my heart and wait for it to heal. I need to reconcile my life and how I can change it. But right now I need to bask in the love of my friends so that all of those things are possible. Because they truly are what drives me these days. My SL family and my tiny amazing rl one, they make me wake up everyday and get on with things. They are inspiring in the simplest ways, they are there.

So thanks for enduring my crazy rant for today. I wish you all a wonderful wednesday.
Brie

25 Days of Song - Day 6 (A Song That Reminds Me of my Best Friend)

Look at me I'm Sandra Dee
Lousy with virginity
Won't go to bed till I'm legally wed
I can't I'm Sandra Dee

Watch it! Hey, I'm Doris Day
I was not brought up that way
Won't come across even Rock Hudson lost
(All): His heart to Doris Day

I don't drink (No! ) or swear (Oh! )
I don't rat my hair (Ew! )
I get I'll from one cigarette
(Cough, cough, cough)
Keep your filthy paws off my silky drawers
Would you pull that crap with Annette?

As for you Troy Donahue
I know what you wanna do
You've got your crust I'm no object of lust
(All): I'm just plain Sandra Dee
(Laughter)

Elvis, Elvis, let me be
Keep that pelvis far from me
Just keep your cool now you're starting to drool

Hey, Fongul, I'm Sandra Dee