The Last Day of the Last Month of This Year.

Happy almost new years everyone!
  Well, new year for some but in my neck of the woods, still have a few hours left of 2013. This year has definitely had its ups and downs. It started so full of promise I had family, my business was doing well, I let my guard down for the first time in a long time. By February that was all but a memory, things surely did change after that... I think for the better.
  I buckled down and have been learning to make meshes and though it is a slow and frustrating process it is one I am really proud of. I opened a new store and my product is simple but I am really happy with it, and happy when someone enjoys it. My family dynamic has changed, a few people have come and gone over the past 12 months but I am just as happy with who I surround myself now as I was this time a year ago.
  My Nara left my heart and found her way back, my Kendall is still my always child and I have Laila and Dominic who make me laugh every time we are together. Finally my little mouse is now my baby mouse, life is really funny how it all plays out. When you think your heart is in a million pieces and it will never heal time takes hold and things are as they should be.
  I got to go to Kansas and spend a few weeks with my Twinnie, Maddy and that time I will cherish my whole life. People ask if it was weird meeting for the first time in the real world and you know what? It wasnt. It was amazing and we were 2 peas in a pod just like we are in Second Life. I miss her terribly every day and hope sometime this year we get the opportunity to spend time together again. Praying the summer gives me a month in Kansas with her (and a month less of Arizona heat). She is hands down the greatest friend I have ever had I never feel judged or ashamed with her, it is pretty amazing.
  And for every friendship that ended I have made a friend or 2 to replace that hole in my heart. Plurk has been kind in giving me some amazing new people who inspire me every day and make me want to be a better person. Ive learned tons from them all, they should be told how much I appreciate their friendship and their impact on my life.
  So anyway, I am ready for the new year, I hope it is kind to me and I hope that it brings me the progress in myself and my life that I have been aching for . I hope it is kind to you too, and that you have much happiness and good health.

XOXO,
Brie

10 Life Lessons: Lesson 5: Failures are only lessons.

  Today I thought this was a good lesson to touch on. So many times we make mistakes in life, and we either don't let ourselves get past it or other people tend to hold it over our heads forever. Know this, no one in this world is perfect. Not the Dali Lama or the Pope is perfect, we are human, we do things, we make mistakes. It is truly what we choose to learn from them that helps us grow and defines us as a person.
  In fact it was the Dali Lama who said "When you realize you've made a mistake, take immediate steps to correct it." It is expected we as people are going to fall, are going to fail, are going to do something we can not take back. But it is also expected that when we do, it is our job and duty to the people around us to recognize our failures, admit them and do our best to improve on them and become a better member of our society.
  I had it pointed out today that though I have made amends for my mistakes earlier this year, some people still view me as a thief and liar. I can not undo that, I know that I am neither, that I made a mistake and I owned up to it. But my mistake, big or small in the eyes of others does not excuse the actions of other people, it does not give a license to behave less than stellar, I am only responsible for myself and my actions, as each of us is. I can not express how deeply I regret my choices and have worked very hard to learn from them and do my best to overcome whatever stigma remains from said choices.
  At the end of the day just remember, you are not perfect and that is OK. You have people who love and appreciate you, flaws and all. Treat others kindly you never know what struggles they are enduring outside this box of ours. And with that, I wish you all a good night.

XOXO,
Brie

“When you realize you’ve made a mistake, take immediate steps to correct it.” - See more at: http://quotesnsmiles.com/quotes/50-dalai-lama-quotes/#sthash.kGksVE76.dpuf

“When you realize you’ve made a mistake, take immediate steps to correct it.” - See more at: http://quotesnsmiles.com/quotes/50-dalai-lama-quotes/#sthash.0vJnGbwF.dpuf

“When you realize you’ve made a mistake, take immediate steps to correct it.” - See more at: http://quotesnsmiles.com/quotes/50-dalai-lama-quotes/#sthash.0vJnGbwF.dpuf

“When you realize you’ve made a mistake, take immediate steps to correct it.” - See more at: http://quotesnsmiles.com/quotes/50-dalai-lama-quotes/#sthash.0vJnGbwF.dpuf

10 Life Lessons: Lesson 4 - When you procrastinate, you become a slave to yesterday.

Hey all, been dealing with that real world thing and moving my SL family to a new homestead so I got distracted. But I am back to continue on with my life lessons everyone should know.

Lesson number 4 is when you procrastinate, you become a slave to yesterday. It is really true when people say "why put off today what you can do tomorrow". I mean it is STILL going to be there tomorrow, waiting... waiting... and still waiting. Why not take care of it now, you never know what may happen between now and then and sometimes, it is something if missed you can never get back.

We all as human beings procrastinate with something, but I am talking about things besides cleaning the house or finishing that English essay... I mean really important things, mending a broken relationship, saying you love someone... making that leap into something new.

I had many opportunities to go back up to San Francisco and see her before she died. I always thought I would have more time, that there was no way she was going anywhere yet (even though she was seriously ill)... I put it off not because I didn't want to see her, I think it was because I didn't want to see her LIKE THAT, frail and sick. I talked to her for the last time this last year on my birthday and 2 days later she was gone.

 Now, I don't have many regrets in my life but this for sure makes the short list. I know she wouldn't have wanted me there at the end because to me she was always a strong beautiful woman and she wanted Sammi and I to always remember her that way. But putting it off cost me a chance to spend a little more time with her there, to hold her hand and hug her and tell her we loved her. I know it was supposed to be this way but I often wonder if things would have been different if I had just not procrastinated.

Anyway I share this as always to help you all find your way whatever that is. I hope you take life by the bootstraps, live each day to the absolute fullest and make sure to tell those closest to you how very important they are to you.

Have a great night,
XOXO,
Brie

Picture taken at the Nuville SIM

My Life's Philosophy

People Learn What They Live

By Dorothy Law Nolte

If people live with criticism,

They learn to condemn.

If people live with hostility,

They learn to fight.

If people live with ridicule,

They learn to be shy.

If people live with shame,

They learn to feel guilty.

If people live with encouragement,

They learn confidence.

If people live with tolerance,

They learn to be patient.

If people live with praise,

They learn to appreciate.

If people live with acceptance,

They learn to love.

If people live with approval,

They learn to like themselves.

If people live with honesty,

They learn truthfulness.

If people live with security,

They learn to have faith in themselves and others.

If people live with friendliness,

They learn the world is a beautiful place in which to live.

Imagine what a world we  could create if we all learned to live by these simple truths.

Today's "Word Of The Day" - EXACERBATE

ex·ac·er·bate

ex·ac·er·bat·ed, ex·ac·er·bat·ing.

verb (used with object)

1.

to increase the severity, bitterness, or violence of (disease, ill feeling, etc.); aggravate.

2.

to embitter the feelings of (a person); irritate; exasperate.

Hello from House-sitting  I was having a nice enjoyable QUIET time when I was shown a plurk stream from a few days ago that set me on my heels. Apparently, the act of one using purchased models from online in SL (which we have visited again and again and yes, still sorry I made a idiotic mistake) is called "Tiny Spacing" in some circles. I am deeply offended that for 1, my mistake is being lumping in with people who use these files knowingly when they are not even the same thing. And 2, even after 6 months, people really just feel the need to drag up all this yet again. I had dreaded this exact thing happen and yet, am hurt and shocked that things are being put at my feet yet again.

I really do not know what is with these peoples life that they feel that they need to keep dredging things over and over again to feel better. I made a mistake, I am certain each and every one of us has made a mistake in life. I am an adult, I admitted it... I learned from it, I have put a lot of time and work into learning things so I can still create again. I have removed myself as much as possible from the Kid community as I feel I am not welcome there, I have worked hard to push forward and be a better person for this experience.

I have felt happier, more accepted and genuinely all around better for it, whoever you are you did me a favor in the end. But now it is really time to just put it aside. You want to play IP police, knock yourself out. I build in front of people, I have witnesses as proof of the things I have made. They are by no means extravagant or high end, they are simple but I take pride in them because they are mine and a piece of who I am that I choose to share with the world. I do not want to be the target of this any longer and really implore you to let it go. I really do not know how much more to make things clear, and I want to try. I am trying to be better to everyone, even those who do not make me feel fuzzy inside. I realize that in the end only I have control over the world and people around me. You hurt me and continue to do so but I will not leave and stop the world I enjoy so much because you want to do it, it makes me happy and gives me a purpose.

I sincerely hope this puts to rest this issue with me. For those who like to purchase things on the net, I sincerely hope that you take my story as a example that things will come out, that if it is wrong, it will come out. Learning is hard, its frustrating, i delete way more than I ever finish, I cuss at my computer and scream out of sheer frustration. But when someone tells me they really enjoy something I make, something I didnt think 6 months ago that I could do, I am proud of myself for pulling myself up by the bootstraps. If I can do it, I promise you can. And now I am going to go cuddle my daughter and sleep and try to enjoy the time I have in peace and quiet before life gets busy with school and volleyball and dramatic almost 11 year old girl problems. 

XOXO,

Brie 

Thank God for Second Chances

  I am a firm believer that everything in this world happens for a reason. No one person we meet is there "just because". They are either there to teach you something, to help you through something or for you to change their life in some way. I have struggled with the why's of life more than I think I probably should but lately, I have found peace in the life I have and the people who have come and gone in it in my 38 and 1/2 years on this earth. 

  When I met Walter, he showed me that not all men in my life were there to hurt me, that not all people love with expectation, they love from their whole heart. I still struggle 5 years later with this but I have been learning to be accepting of his love and know that I am truly blessed to have someone in my life who loves me unconditionally. 

  I have also been learning lately that for every 1 bad experience I have in Second Life, there is many many more that feed my soul and make me grateful I discovered this virtual place. One of the first child avatars I ever met, so very long ago was Mirabelle. She was this tiny adorable blonde child person and the first to friend me where I didn't feel weirded out by the fact that a grown person WANTED to be a child in here and not for some weird reason. She used to come and visit the little piece of land Walter and I called home. It was winter, so we had a frozen pond and it was all set up for Ice Skating. We would spend hours together just chatting and building a really good friendship. And though time and life's moments have let us drift apart from each other, we always seem to find our way back, with a little something new to bring to our friendship. She is someone who has taught me not to take things too too serious and to just enjoy a place where truly ANYTHING is possible.

  After the loss of Naraelina and Carter, I had really second guessed myself not only as a friend but as a parent and had completely shied away from the thought of adding to my tiny family outside my amazing Kendall. But lately I have been missing a little distraction and the companionship that I can not explain right to get the idea out there, so I hope you can just imagine. I work a lot in SL, its pretty much all I do, and I love it dearly. But I miss having someone who is just goofy and cares not about making a living but maybe about painting walls or flooding the bathroom. All the silly things I would never let Sammi do and get away with... I miss having that childlike air in my life. And so, after weeks of really thinking about it and many trips to Heritage that ended in me leaving before I had a panic attack... I bit the bullet and submitted an application. I sat looking at the wall of beautiful little faces and one stood out, I didn't know why. When I clicked her photo there was my Mirabelle... these days going by Everest. It was just meant to be, things happen for a reason and so do people. 

  The best thing about this choice for both of us is there is no real fear the other is going to be put off by something in our personality. After nearly 5 years we know each other's quirks... our good and bad points, and yet we accept this all and know that the other is going to put as much faith in the friendship that has taken years to build. I am proud to be this tiny persons SL Mother. I really am very excited for this new adventure... and hopefully she doesn't burn my house down.

XOXO,

Brie

Today's "Word Of The Day" - INDEPENDENCE

INDEPENDENCE

in·de·pend·ence -[in-di-pen-duhns] 

noun

1.Also, independency. the state or quality of being independent.

2.freedom from the control, influence, support, aid, or the like, of others.

 

Happy 4th American readers (even though it is technically the 5th now)!

  I have had a lot on my mind lately so I apologize for neglecting you all.  As some of you know and I have talked briefly about in past blog entries, I grew up not the most loved person in the world. I actually was taken from my parents when I was just about Sammi's age and made a ward of the state of California. They felt neither of my parents were fit to care for me either due to drugs and alcohol (which was my Mother) or outright neglect and indifference (which was my Father). I spent close to a year hopping from one foster home to another until just after my 11th birthday, I ended up in a group home facility. Now most of you are thinking, gee that had to have been horrible... but it wasn't. I mean sure, there are some downright shitty foster parents out there and I had my fair share of them. But I also had some really amazing people who truly cared about me, who loved and cared about me and wanting my life to be okay. Most of those people I met when I spent close to 4 years in this amazing group home in Northern California, I am fortunate to say they saved me and really helped shape the core of who I am to this day.

  The group home at the time was run by a retired Priest, the facility itself was formerly a nunnery, that is a place Nuns lived. It was large and beautiful, they took in kids from 6-18 and had their own school, church, pool, park... it was really a unique place. Father Steve was the Priest who was the director and he truly loved each and every one of us. There were close to 200 children at any given time and he knew each and every one of our names, it was really amazing now that I look back on it. His goal was to give us a safe place to be, where we could come to terms with the abuse and life we had been dealt and to give us good life skills to take with us into adulthood. We had everything we needed right there to make sure we had the highest chance at success and though it didnt fix some of the demons most of us carry to this day, it certainly empowered us to be the best people we could be.

 I was saddened recently when I found a group of people who too had spent their time at this amazing place. Some had been there before I was even born and some I remember fondly from my time there. We are the truest form of family because we share a life that wasnt fair by any means, we endured things most people can not even imagine but it bonded us, gave us something to go on for. I found out a few years ago they closed this place down and the buildings are now on the market to be purchased for god knows what. Apparently Father Steve truly retired and another gentleman took over the Director seat at the facility. he did not share the same love and desire to help children as his predecessor had, he fired most of the amazing staff that had been there nearly 20 years and hired less qualified, more affordable staff who like him, had no business caring for abused and neglected children and teenagers. Kids started running away, going "OC" (off campus) as we called it, and some broke into and vandalized homes in the surrounding neighborhoods. The residents of the town started to complain and so the home had to be closed and as you can see, sold.

   I know it seems funny to you that someone could be so attached to some place that really for all intent and purpose was similar to a prison. But to those of us who were there at that time, it was our home, we were safe there, the people who had hurt us so bad for so long could not touch us there. We were listened to and our stories heard, those people held me when I cried, defended me when I was wronged, they were my family, more than everyone but my grandmother ever was to me. I became a woman in that place, a feat that was frightening, they sat me down and took on the role of a parent, explaining all the facts of life and doing what they could to make it all seem like it was going to be ok. I wish there was more places like this in the world, and it is truly a loss to the world that this one is gone forever. 

   Anyway, I just wanted to share a bit of this with you all because it has been weighing on me a lot lately and well, that is why I have this blog, to share whether it is read or not :)

 

I hope you American's had a safe and wonderful holiday and to everyone, I hope you have an amazing weekend.

 

XOXO,

Brie 

Today's "Word Of The Day" - THANKFUL

THANKFUL

thank·ful - [thangk-fuhl] 

adjective

feeling or expressing gratitude; appreciative.

  I know, I know, you are wondering if I fell off the face of the earth. I didn't I swear, I just had vacation and then a frantic few weeks of getting stuff together for the Home Show that starts this coming Monday....  I fail as a consistent blogger, I hope you can forgive me.

   So I saw this blogger challenge put forth by the fabulous Dame Edith Ogleby that is right up my alley. You can read all about it HERE but basically it encourages us all to just show someone, anyone, be it someone you know or not that you are glad they are here, that you are thankful and appreciative... I love it. So in honor of this amazing thing Ill get down to the mushy stuff.

  My Twinnie, Maddy Carissa

  It was fate that this lady and I met almost 3 years ago. She had adopted a child who used to be mine and stumbled into my old store, Tiny Spaces and then began her stalking me a little bit. What one would have thought creepy I found hysterical because as most people know, I am a bit of a hermit and kind of shy until I know you better. Her and I clicked from the get go and we have been inseparable ever since.  Sometimes you just meet someone and from day one, you feel like you have known each other forever. We had the luck of getting to meet in real life earlier this month and for 2 whole weeks we were joined at the hip, when I came home I cried like a baby and I am trying so hard to find a way to just get back there to spend more time with her. She has been my constant support, saw me through some very hard times in my last few years and is someone I know no matter what she will always have my back when the chips are down. I love her big she is my sister in every way that matters. 

My Husband, Walter Kovacs

  Who says you can't meet the love of your life on a sex driven sim in Second Life? I was really lucky to say I did. We met in the strangest of places, our relationship is anything but conventional but I really dont know what I would do or where I would be if our paths had never crossed. I never met someone who loves me as unconditionally as you do. I have tried to push you away time after time and like the perverbial rock, there you stay. I love how you look at me and how we fit together just right when we cuddle up to sleep. You make me feel like I can do anything, I can never thank you enough for choosing to spend your life with me and helping me raise Sammi to be an amazing adult. I sincerely can not wait to see what the future brings us, I love you always.

And Everybody Else....

  I really can't just list all of you and so I will just say here, to the people I have met in Second Life and on Plurk be it good or bad, thank you for touching my life. The loves of my life have brought me such immense joy I can never express how much it cheers me up to just share a few moments with each of you every day. To the ones who have hurt me, I thank you for the lessons your pain has taught me, for showing me who is valued to my life and how to be able to shake off the hurt and just move forward. You all have changed me so much in the 5 and a half years and Id like to think overall, it has been for the best. You have made me a more appreciative, honest and compassionate person and I am very thankful for the experiences I have had with each of you no matter how small.

Have an amazing weekend.
XOXO,
Brie
 

She Is My Soulmate

  Occasionally you meet someone out in this great universe who you feel, even after a short time, like they have always been there. I have been really blessed to make some really special friends on the internet... hell, I met the love of my life here. I can say I have met my soulmate here too. She is not romantically mine, she is my absolute best friend, that one person who you know no matter what will never waver and will always be by your side.

  I really feel blessed and honored to have had the privilege of meeting my Maddy we met nearly 3 years ago and I think we have not went 1 day without talking somewhere. We talk on SL, Facebook, Skype... the phone, its kind of crazy. Our significant people have begrudgingly accepted that they have to share us and I wouldn't have it any other way. Even last year when she had a accident and had a months worth of amnesia, she still remembered I was important to her and she would text me from her hospital bed just to tell me she still loved my face.

  I have never been so humbled or feel quite so lucky to have such an amazing friend. I am really excited because in a weeks time, I will be on a plane to her home in Kansas to spend 2 weeks making some amazing memories with my best friend. It is really special to be able to take someone out of the computer and give them their rightful place in the real world. Our children will play together, we will share many meals across a table from one another and in the end my heart will break because the miles between us will again be vast, but this little piece of time we will get together will truly be a cherished one. Something I know not everyone is fortunate enough to get and that makes this all the more special for me.

  So my virtual twin, my sister from another mister, my absolute bestieface, I am so thankful for you and thankful to have you in my life. I wanted to put this here, for all to see and with the knowledge that the internet is forever and so no matter where life leads us both you can always know you are loved by me and I am always going to be there for you and yours no matter what.

XOXO,
Brie

Today's "Word Of The Day" - APATHY

APATHY

ap·a·thy - [ap-uh-thee] 

noun, plural ap·a·thies.

1.absence or suppression of passion, emotion, or excitement.

2.lack of interest in or concern for things that others find moving or exciting.

3.Also, ap·a·thei·a, ap·a·thi·a [ap-uh-thee-uh] . Stoicism. freedom from emotion of any kind.

 

 

  Sorry I skipped a few days of writing, I had a 10 year old with the flu. Very messy business indeed. I was laying in bed with her today and saw a commercial on Cartoon Network about a movie they are going to be showing Sunday evening (April 28,2013 at 5:30/4:30c) it is a documentary called Bully , a story that follows the lives of five families touched by bullying either for themselves or their children. I am planning on watching it with Sammi and I really hope everyone tries to make time to watch it as well.

   Bullying is a really important issue for me. As a kid I wasn't bullied but that was because most kids were afraid of me. When I was 8 I tried to kill myself and my best friend confided it in a teacher, who reported it and I was removed in an ambulance right there at school and taken to a Mental Hospital for a month. That kind of stigma kind of follows you... people assumed I was "crazy" and so they didn't poke the bear with a stick as they say. It made life much easier when the rest of it was in chaos and turmoil so for that I am grateful.

  My daughter though was not so lucky. We moved to Phoenix right after her first grade year started. I thought this was going to be great. My outgoing, kind, loving child would surely make tons of friend, I mean who doesn't like a compassionate amazing friend? But the kids in her class didn't greet her so warmly not sure why they just felt she was different and so they clamped on. The worst was a boy who systematically tortured my child with graphic tales of how he was watching her even when not at school and the things he would do to her... it was horrible.

  My heart broke as I watched my happy, outgoing child slowly turn inward and become nothing like she had been even a few months before. I had to have her put on sleeping medication to help because she was having night terrors and was no longer sleeping much. I repeatedly had talks with her teacher and the school, even the boy's grandfather but they all took the "kids are cruel it gets better" thought process. I felt completely at a loss at what to do to protect my child. Nothing I said gave her much comfort, and the people who were responsible for protecting her at the school were completely dropping the proverbial ball. 

  It all came to a head  2 weeks before the school year ended, the day before field day the kids were walking to where they meet the parents after school and her bully informed her he was going to shoot her Dad. She was hysterical and really worried that something was going to happen to Ken. Now you need to remember, these are 6 year old kids, first graders... where would a kid that age learn about such violence? I immediately went to the school office and had a sit down meeting with the school's Assistant Principal. She assured me the boy would be called to the office, his guardians contacted and would be suspended the next morning. I left feeling hopeful that finally, this would be dealt with and the boy reprimanded.

  My heart sank though the very next day when my daughter slowly walked to meet me at my car and informed me that the boy was not only not suspended but he was allowed to participate the field day, a day that was fun and a reward for a good year. I had never felt more let down by a group of people in my life. I calmed my daughter, went home and immediately called the superintendent of the school district and had a long talk, filed a complaint against the school and then did the same thing at the State Board of Education. I firmly believe things like this should never happen in schools, our children should be safe.

  I think the moment I knew this was truly a serious problem that desperately needs to be remedied was when I spoke with the school's Principal. I explained I would be homeschooling my daughter for the remainder of the year and then be removing her and enrolling her in a new school. She actually asked me why and when I explained that my daughter was not safe under their care, her response was that because the boy did not physically assault her she was never in any real danger. I realized this is a misconception that is shared by a lot of people in this country. That just because it is words, it isn't hurting the kids seriously.  If anything, it is worse... if he had hit her, she could have defended herself, hit him back, something. But he left her feeling helpless and violated, it took a long time to get her to a place where she feels safe and secure again.

  Parents or not, if you see someone, anyone, being mistreated by someone I urge you to stop and say something. We have grown into a community that is apathetic to the needs of others, we choose to not get involved because it isn't our business or some other nonsense excuse.  You have to think, if this was you, would you want someone to stand up for you? It is not something we should ever be ok with. It is not kids being kids, kids picking on kids, people being mean spirited. It is a PROBLEM and turning a blind eye to it is just as bad as saying it is ok, and it leaves those who are being subjected to bullying feeling lost and alone and frankly, abandoned.

  My daughter is in a new school that has an honor code and a zero tolerance policy for bullying. She is excelling in school and is regularly awarded for being a good caring person, someone with stellar character and of this I am proud of her.  She also is a loyal friend and has on occasion told bullies to knock it off and stop picking on other kids. It is something I can not express how much I take pride in, it is something I hope she carries with her all her life. I wish more people were like her, it reminds me I did a good job and instilled good qualities in her tiny little self. I hope you take her story and learn something from it and it makes you take notice and a stand against the bullying of others.

 

XOXO,

Brie 

Today's "Word Of The Day" - VERTIGO

VERTIGO

ver·ti·go - [vur-ti-goh] 

noun, plural ver·ti·goes, ver·tig·i·nes [ver-tij-uh-neez] 

1.a dizzying sensation of tilting within stable surroundings or of being in tilting or spinning surroundings.

 

 I hope you all had an amazing weekend. Mine was rather quiet and spent at home. I haven't been feeling so well so I have been trying to just take things easy. Which basically means, I lay in bed and do my impression of a potato. Not terribly productive but sometimes, very necessary.

  For those who don't know me so well, I was diagnosed with Meniere's Disease in 2008.  It is an auto-immune disease that effects the inner bony labyrinth of the ear. That is the snail shaped innermost part of your ear that contains fluids that control balance for the human body. It came on suddenly, with no real rhyme or reason and has been a constant in my life ever since. It has symptoms from vertigo to tinnitus (ringing in the ears) and hearing loss. It effects people usually over 40 and in one ear, I am a rare occurrence as I was 33 and I have it in both ears not just one. It has left me unable to work and about 53% hearing impaired, soon I will need to get hearing aids and eventually I will be mostly if not completely deaf.

  Before I got sick I moved here from San Francisco, I had a good job as a bookkeeper for a private charter school  I was really content in my life. When I became sick I had to seek out doctors who took me serious because of my age and the "normal" circumstances of Meniere's patients... it took me over a year to get a actual diagnosis. The craziest part was my own doctor did not diagnose me, the Ear, Nose and Throat doctor that the Social Security Disability people had check me over found this is what happened to me.It has been a true test of patience and knowing trusting that someone would finally take me serious and treat me appropriately. 

  I was really angry for a long time because I truly felt it was unfair to be sick like this. But I have come to the point now I see it as a blessing. It is the universe's way of telling me to slow down, focus on what is important and cherish it. Someday it will no longer be there so embrace it today with all you have. If I hadn't been sick, I would not have the time, real quality time, with my daughter.  I would be working all the time and by the time I got home, just too exhausted to do anything. Volunteering at her school? Never happen. I would not be able to take time from my financial duties to go on field trips and help out with her classroom activities. I wouldn't still be on Second Life, I would have abandoned that long ago. And though it isn't all awesome in there, I create art in the pictures I take and contribute something in the items I create. So, there is a reason for everything... even if I would rather not be so dizzy I fall down, take medication that makes me sleep all day and have to ask people to repeat themselves 128347392 times in a conversation. 

  So you are wondering what the hell is my point? It is this, everything happens for a reason and we all have a choice when given the circumstances of our life. I choose to take it and try to be positive. I could really be miserable and treat everyone horrible and end up alone. But I am choosing to make the most of the time I have because I want to go to my grave with amazing memories. When I meet my son in heaven someday I want to be able to tell him all of the amazing parts of my life, I live for him because he could not.

 

XOXO,

Brie 

Today's "Word Of The Day" - RISK

RISK

risk - [risk]

verb (used with object)

1.to expose to the chance of injury or loss; hazard: to risk one's life.

2.to venture upon; take or run the chance of: to risk a fall in climbing; to risk a war.

 

 Half the week is over, I think that is plenty of reason to celebrate, don't you?

 

  Today's topic is risk. It has many meanings but my reasoning for bringing it up is our ability (or sometimes inability) to throw caution to the wind and just go for something. I mean you have to put it in these terms, we are on the INTERNET... something that would not exist without the risk some amazingly intelligent people took in developing and fostering this. Because of them risking possible failure we now have the chance to meet and talk to people no matter where they are, and you are here reading this nonsense of a blog.

  My point is this, we hold ourselves back from what could be amazing things in life because sometimes, we fear risking rejection, failure... whatever. If I had never risked joining Second Life I would not have met the love of my life, my child would not have an amazing father, I wouldn't be happy. I mean sure, something else may have come along, but then again maybe not. I think my risk paid off in spades though life hasn't been so easy and we dont get along every day but I have the experience of loving someone and being loved like I have never been loved in my entire life.

  What I am trying to say is sometimes kids, you just have to kick off your shoes and fling yourself into the abyss and hope when you land it is on a pile of pillows and not a pile of rocks. It may not always be the ending you want but hell, you need to live life. We only get one as far as I know and so you should meet the end with some experiences under your belt. Playing it safe is all fine and good but it is really true without risk there truly is no reward. I took a chance on the community in second life and I am so far happy with this choice, I think it was best for me and my overall well-being and happiness.  

  What have you always wanted to do or try but never did? Is there someone you hold feelings for but say nothing for fear they will reject you? Carrying that want around is not healthy, it weighs your heart down and can depress your spirit. I truly believe that sometimes the greatest things come from taking a chance and just going for it. If it is not the ending you want well, that just means what is meant for you is still out there and this gives you the opportunity to go and find your bliss. Why waste life pining for something or someone when you could take the risk and inevitably end right where you are supposed to be?

  Maybe I am tired, or just old and senile, not sure but these are things I have been thinking about lately and so I wanted to share. Maybe it makes you think, maybe it inspires you to try something new or do something you have been afraid to... it is your life, you have control over it, so go make it the best it can be.

 

XOXO,

Brie 

Berry's SL Firsts Meme

Meme instructions: Copy and paste the following 10 questions and answers into your post. Delete my answers and input your own. Don’t forget to link your post in this meme’s comments so everyone can read yours!

1. First SL Friend: My first friend was SweetnSexyTastin Dumpling, she actually came to SL with me from another game and we are still friends to this day. She actually met her current husband on SL and moved to Phoenix to be with him, and hense closer to me :)
2. First SL Kiss: My first and only SL Kissing partner was Walter Kovacs who is my SL husband and my RL Boyfriend of more than 5 years now.
3. First SLex time/place/partner: Walter Kovacs, Some rent by the hour room thing above a shemale strip club, can't for the life of me even remember the name but he had a friend who worked there so we went there. 
4. First SL Partner/Girlfriend/Boyfriend/Wife/Husband: Walter Kovacs yet again, gee I am pretty boring I know.
5. First SL Job: I was a dancer at some very noob 2005 looking club. Dont remember the name though, I am old, I forget stuff. 
6. First SL Creation: Well I took pictures starting in the end of 2008 but the first thing I "made" was in 2010 I made a bed for one of my kids that I had at the time.
7. First Encounter with a Linden: I had a weird rezzing issue where a kittycat rezzed 4k meters BELOW the ground and Joshua Linden came to try to help me retrieve him but even him with his amazing linden magic could not find the cat and he ended up having to be deleted from my sim's server space.
8. First Encounter with a SLebrity: The first SL Famous gal I met was Aeris Pinazzo, well she was famous to me as I loved her store Myth and had entered and won a photo contest she was having and so I got to talk to her. She had an amazing personality and we became friendish she is someone to this day I admire and am really glad I had the chance to get to know.
9. First SL Sim you fell in love with: The Black and White Taj Mahal I loved going there and taking tons of photographs. You could tell the skill and absolute love that went into that build, all with prim and all super detailed. Walter and I used to explore there a lot and always found new and exciting things there.
10. First SL Blog Post: Well I would love to share that but the blog for Focus Fashion Agency is apparently no longer published so I can't. I used to blog skins for them as I am a huge skin whore. But other than that and an occasional guest spot on others blogs, this has been my blog the longest so you can scroll back to the first one here I guess :)

Today's "Word Of The Day" : BLESSING

BLESSING

bless·ing - [bles-ing]

noun

1.the act or words of a person who blesses.

2.a special favor, mercy, or benefit: the blessings of liberty.

3.a favor or gift bestowed by God, thereby bringing happiness.

4.the invoking of God's favor upon a person: The son was denied his father's blessing.

 

 Hope everyone's week has started off on a good foot. I am recovering from my Easter holiday and making adorable bunny face pot pies for my family. They were not only adorable and tasty, but made my daughter smile which kind of takes the ache of not having family at the holidays go away a little. I hope all who celebrated Easter and Passover this past weekend enjoyed and cherished this time with their family, remember nothing is forever so cherish the small things like holidays because they may not always be as they are now. 

  I also spent part of my day with my Second Life Family. Though my parents celebrate Passover they made an Easter celebration that really brought back memories of my childhood, before my life got so complicated, where the most important part was how much candy was in my basket. I truly felt so blessed and humbled to have such exceptional people in my life. Even though the past few months have had many, many, low points; standing with people who loved me with no agenda of their own... I felt really lucky. Life has a way of righting itself even when you can't see the light at the end of the tunnel.  

  I really can never express to them how much I love and cherish having them in my life. They truly have saved me, even if they do not realize it. If it wasn't for them, Sammi and Ken I would have succumbed to my depression long ago and I don't think I would be here writing this to you right now. I know finding genuine and good people are rare, even more rare in Second Life... it is part why I really honor the friendship and family you have bestowed on me. I only hope someday to be able to convey to you how much you all mean to me.

 

XOXO,

Brie 

Today's "Word Of The Day": EMPATHY

em·pa·thy - [em-puh-thee] 

noun

1. the intellectual identification with or vicarious experiencing of the feelings, thoughts, or attitudes of another.

 

 

Another week, well Sunday is Easter, I suppose I should search my recipes for something to cook the boyface and starfish... Only bad thing about having a tiny family is that all my holiday recipes feed a lot more than the 3 of us. I usually feed my neighbor but he is battling Kidney and Bladder Cancer, so he can't eat most things anymore. 

  Anyway, thoughts for today circle around Empathy and Compassion and how I notice those too are things that really need to be interjected more into our daily lives, whether in the computer or the real world, how we treat others is truly a reflection of who we are and how we are feeling. I was raised in a unique way, in unique places and not really by my parents. My life could have turned out a much different way than it is with me a sincerely worse person. Growing up in the California Foster Care System, I saw and was exposed to some things, I would not wish on anyone else. I watched a girl I shared a room with get raped by another boy in our institution when I was 14 and had to testify against him in court after I reported him to the people running the group home I lived in at the time. I have seen people who I lived with and experienced that part of our life with go down many different roads of live, some criminal and some in the service of others. I have chosen to share bits of who I am to try to give comfort and direction to others who are conflicted or struggling in key moments of their life.

  All the good things I know though, I know from my Grandma, my Nano... she was a really insightful person who had the basic mantra of "Do unto others as you would have them do unto you". Meaning, treat people as you want to be treated... or as I tell my daughter, the best way to have good friends and people in your life is to be good to them. Simple principle isnt it? But something people forget, we take one another for granted to a point, we believe whether we are kind or not, things will work out favorably for us. That is not the case, if we want good in our lives, we must work for it, we must surround ourselves with people who reflect the type of person we want to be.... we must show empathy and compassion for others who are in low points in their journey.... we must do what we can to make life better for not only ourselves, but for others.

  I wonder sometimes how some of us come to forget this simple rule and way of life, why to others people are interchangeable and are rendered useless when they have either fulfilled their purpose or no longer serve as a means to achieving their desired goal.  I think because of my bipolar I see things in a really matter of fact way. I am one of those people who is just right to the point and honest, but this is not the case for so many. So when people deviate from that kind of thinking, for me, I have a difficult time comprehending their actions. 

  His Holiness the Dalai Lama said it best "Be kind whenever possible. It is always possible." We need to stop and remember we are not alone on this planet, we certainly are not the center of this universe so how we choose to treat the people we come in contact, whether those we know or not, we have control over how their experience is with us. I make a conscious effort to do the best I can for those around me. It may not always feel good, sometimes it requires being brutally honest in helping guide them back to a good path, but in the end your life should feel full and yes, happy. We all deserve it, even those who seem to want to infect our lives with misery... happiness is a true God given right, no matter who's God you recognize (or even if you recognize no God at all).

XOXO,

Brie