Today's "Word Of The Day" - RISK

RISK

risk - [risk]

verb (used with object)

1.to expose to the chance of injury or loss; hazard: to risk one's life.

2.to venture upon; take or run the chance of: to risk a fall in climbing; to risk a war.

 

 Half the week is over, I think that is plenty of reason to celebrate, don't you?

 

  Today's topic is risk. It has many meanings but my reasoning for bringing it up is our ability (or sometimes inability) to throw caution to the wind and just go for something. I mean you have to put it in these terms, we are on the INTERNET... something that would not exist without the risk some amazingly intelligent people took in developing and fostering this. Because of them risking possible failure we now have the chance to meet and talk to people no matter where they are, and you are here reading this nonsense of a blog.

  My point is this, we hold ourselves back from what could be amazing things in life because sometimes, we fear risking rejection, failure... whatever. If I had never risked joining Second Life I would not have met the love of my life, my child would not have an amazing father, I wouldn't be happy. I mean sure, something else may have come along, but then again maybe not. I think my risk paid off in spades though life hasn't been so easy and we dont get along every day but I have the experience of loving someone and being loved like I have never been loved in my entire life.

  What I am trying to say is sometimes kids, you just have to kick off your shoes and fling yourself into the abyss and hope when you land it is on a pile of pillows and not a pile of rocks. It may not always be the ending you want but hell, you need to live life. We only get one as far as I know and so you should meet the end with some experiences under your belt. Playing it safe is all fine and good but it is really true without risk there truly is no reward. I took a chance on the community in second life and I am so far happy with this choice, I think it was best for me and my overall well-being and happiness.  

  What have you always wanted to do or try but never did? Is there someone you hold feelings for but say nothing for fear they will reject you? Carrying that want around is not healthy, it weighs your heart down and can depress your spirit. I truly believe that sometimes the greatest things come from taking a chance and just going for it. If it is not the ending you want well, that just means what is meant for you is still out there and this gives you the opportunity to go and find your bliss. Why waste life pining for something or someone when you could take the risk and inevitably end right where you are supposed to be?

  Maybe I am tired, or just old and senile, not sure but these are things I have been thinking about lately and so I wanted to share. Maybe it makes you think, maybe it inspires you to try something new or do something you have been afraid to... it is your life, you have control over it, so go make it the best it can be.

 

XOXO,

Brie 

Today's "Word Of The Day": RESILIENCE

RESILIENCE

re·sil·ience - [ri-zil-yuhns, -zil-ee-uhns] 

noun

1.the power or ability to return to the original form, position, etc., after being bent, compressed, or stretched; elasticity.

2.ability to recover readily from illness, depression, adversity, or the like; buoyancy.

 

 Happy Caturday all!

  I have had quite an interesting week. Most of it has been taking care of Ken and Sammi, who both decided it would be fun to get sick, lets hope they didn't share. But the week ended on one of the highest notes ever in my Second Life history. I woke up today with a smile, confident that things are going to get better, and all the low points over the last few months have been worth it. It has made me a better person and shown me some amazing friends that I knew I had but really didnt know how valued they were to me.

  Without my friends and family I would not have started building again, I wouldnt have had the courage to learn mesh and to continue learning to become a better content creator. Id like to think my love and happiness is showing through in the items I have put out to sell under a new name and new style of furniture for me. I am taking my love of reusing things in new and creative ways into Second Life and offering individual pieces that I hope will add character to homes on the grid. 

  These things are like me, once looked upon as useless and with no value but with some creativity and a different outlook can be made new and functional and yes, needed. I named my new store [Noble] because Noble has such a strong meaning, that of not only being distinguished and royal (which I am certainly not) but being of good moral character (which I try hard to be). It is also my family name, that of my Parents, Noah and Blossom Noble. These two people have given me so much strength and love since the moment I met them. I really dont know what would have happened if I did not have them, my siblings, my children and grandchildren loving and supporting me. 

 

  Everyone should have a good, stable support system in their life and before I came to Second Life, I did not have that kind of support system. I have parents, family... but I do not talk with them. They chose themselves and superficial things and not the core meaning that is family. I never felt welcome or a part of a family unit until recently. My family in real life (Besides my Grandma, Sammi and Ken of course) put a price on their love, I had to be what they wanted in order to be worthy of their love. It always made me feel like a failure as a person, that I was never enough for them so how could I be enough for anyone else in my life. These amazing people have shown me that love is something you give freely, it wraps you like a blanket and helps keep you safe and offer a buffer to the hate and ugliness that can exist in the real world. 

 I really can not ever tell my amazing Noble family how much I have appreciated being a part of your family and part of your lives. You have given me a truly precious gift, one I cherish above anything else. Without you all, I dont think I would feel 1/4 as happy as I do. I only hope to repay you all someday for your kindness, not sure how I will but I will certainly try. I love you all more than I could express on this blog. You are amazing people and I feel truly blessed to know each and every one of you.

 

XOXO,

Brie

 If you would like to visit [Noble], here is a link.

Today's "Word Of The Day": OPTIMISTIC

OPTIMISTIC

op·ti·mis·tic - [op-tuh-mis-tik]

adjective

1.disposed to take a favorable view of events or conditions and to expect the most favorable outcome.

2.reflecting a favorable view of events and conditions and the expectation of a positive outcome; demonstrating optimism: an optimistic plan.

 

 Hello Stranger!

  Sorry I havent written in a bit, I have been BUILDING! It feels great to be making things again and learning something new. My daughter, Carter (In her attempt to nudge me back to work I think)  got this amazing little in-world gadget for me called a mesh studio. It works similar to a prim oven... you build what you want out of prims, add their script and voila! you are handed a mesh file outside of sl to import into blender or whatever you choose to work with. Its been great fun learning and I have found I can make a lot of things this way. It has done a lot for my overall mood and general happiness level. 

   I never thought of myself much of an optimist, I am by nature a realist... meaning I see things in the absolute logical way which isnt always healthy, dreaming is a good thing too. I am really trying to break out of that train of thought and trying to see things in a more positive light. I must admit for all the good I feel creating the little things I have, I am overwhelmingly paranoid that something is going to happen again and for me to stay on my guard. But, I am a creative person and trying to hold back that part of myself is like asking a bird not to fly... just not going to happen.

   So anyway I hope you all have an amazing week, I am going to do my best to do so. 

 

XOXO,

Brie 

Today's "Word Of The Day": EMPATHY

em·pa·thy - [em-puh-thee] 

noun

1. the intellectual identification with or vicarious experiencing of the feelings, thoughts, or attitudes of another.

 

 

Another week, well Sunday is Easter, I suppose I should search my recipes for something to cook the boyface and starfish... Only bad thing about having a tiny family is that all my holiday recipes feed a lot more than the 3 of us. I usually feed my neighbor but he is battling Kidney and Bladder Cancer, so he can't eat most things anymore. 

  Anyway, thoughts for today circle around Empathy and Compassion and how I notice those too are things that really need to be interjected more into our daily lives, whether in the computer or the real world, how we treat others is truly a reflection of who we are and how we are feeling. I was raised in a unique way, in unique places and not really by my parents. My life could have turned out a much different way than it is with me a sincerely worse person. Growing up in the California Foster Care System, I saw and was exposed to some things, I would not wish on anyone else. I watched a girl I shared a room with get raped by another boy in our institution when I was 14 and had to testify against him in court after I reported him to the people running the group home I lived in at the time. I have seen people who I lived with and experienced that part of our life with go down many different roads of live, some criminal and some in the service of others. I have chosen to share bits of who I am to try to give comfort and direction to others who are conflicted or struggling in key moments of their life.

  All the good things I know though, I know from my Grandma, my Nano... she was a really insightful person who had the basic mantra of "Do unto others as you would have them do unto you". Meaning, treat people as you want to be treated... or as I tell my daughter, the best way to have good friends and people in your life is to be good to them. Simple principle isnt it? But something people forget, we take one another for granted to a point, we believe whether we are kind or not, things will work out favorably for us. That is not the case, if we want good in our lives, we must work for it, we must surround ourselves with people who reflect the type of person we want to be.... we must show empathy and compassion for others who are in low points in their journey.... we must do what we can to make life better for not only ourselves, but for others.

  I wonder sometimes how some of us come to forget this simple rule and way of life, why to others people are interchangeable and are rendered useless when they have either fulfilled their purpose or no longer serve as a means to achieving their desired goal.  I think because of my bipolar I see things in a really matter of fact way. I am one of those people who is just right to the point and honest, but this is not the case for so many. So when people deviate from that kind of thinking, for me, I have a difficult time comprehending their actions. 

  His Holiness the Dalai Lama said it best "Be kind whenever possible. It is always possible." We need to stop and remember we are not alone on this planet, we certainly are not the center of this universe so how we choose to treat the people we come in contact, whether those we know or not, we have control over how their experience is with us. I make a conscious effort to do the best I can for those around me. It may not always feel good, sometimes it requires being brutally honest in helping guide them back to a good path, but in the end your life should feel full and yes, happy. We all deserve it, even those who seem to want to infect our lives with misery... happiness is a true God given right, no matter who's God you recognize (or even if you recognize no God at all).

XOXO,

Brie

Today's "Word Of The Day": SERENITY

SERENITY

se·ren·i·ty - [suh-ren-i-tee] 

noun

1.the state or quality of being serene, calm, or tranquil; sereneness.

 

Well happy Friday kids!

  This week started off fast till Wednesday but then boy howdy did it crawl the rest of the week.  I think my week of vacation and Disneyland fun really threw me all out of whack. But the weekend is here so I am going to try to catch up on some sleep and just relax with some friends in the real world. My boyface has a friend who's wife is about to give birth like any time now.... god I remember those days. I certainly do not miss being up all night with a newborn but I am sad because my Sammi is growing up and since she is my last kiddo, I wish I could hold onto her littleness a bit longer. 

  Ive been trying to find inner peace and calmness lately, which has been interesting considering I am waging a all out war with my inner demons all the time. But I think in order to get to a place of just living in the moment, you have to find peace with the things in life you have no control over. Its been interesting and I am learning I am really an impatient person who desires a level of  instant gratification that comes when I need some sort of .... I guess closure or satisfaction right now. It is the spoiled brat in me, go figure there is one inside all that mess. 

  I have struggled this week because I accomplished building things for some friends and family and I am really proud of them but I am so paralyzed by the fear of people making an issue out of me actually making something I just put it in my inventory and go about my day. I wish I didn't care what other people thought about me so much, it really is just something I am increasingly frustrated by. Well maybe someday Ill find my mojo again I don't know, was nice to create something from a mix of meshes I made with a mesh oven (Kind of like a prim oven but for mesh) and some pieces from old projects. Been a hoot I tell ya, maybe someday Ill feel confident enough to show them off, for now I guess they are for me and the people I made them for. Either way I felt mighty productive and I haven't felt that in a long while. 

 

Anyway you have a great night all!

XOXO,

Brie 

Today's "Word Of The Day": FORGIVENESS

FORGIVENESS

for·give·ness - [fer-giv-nis] 

noun

1.act of forgiving; state of being forgiven. 

 

  Today's word is a doozy kids, cause it is something I struggle to do every day of my life.  There is just times where you feel you were done wrong, you hold onto that feeling and hold a grudge, it is really difficult to let go of. I am like the queen of grudges, something I have tried to get past all my life. But sometimes, I just fall back on my old mantra "once they hurt you they always hurt you", its a protection mechanism and it has got me by relatively well in life I am sad to say.

  The draw back to my holding these grudges is I have built huge walls to protect my emotional self. I mean don't get me wrong, I talk the talk really well, I am super friendly and I can even be downright nice to people who have in the past thrown me head-first under a bus. But inside I am seething with ill will. I hate feeling like that, its like a cancer that at times gets out of control. I fear I have missed out on some good friendships in my life because of my inability to really truly forgive a person.

  Don't get me wrong, my self preservation has at times gone on vacation, and I have forgiven people I probably shouldn't, Lately, the little person in my head who sometimes sounds like my ex and has a really big mouth has done the Will and Grace "I Told You So" dance more than once. And I feel stupid for letting them in my life. But hey, its part of growing, and growing is something you do your entire life. 

  I am trying really hard to shut down that inner monologue and just go with things more in life, trying to give people the benefit of the doubt and stuff. I mean hey, if I grow and change with my experiences, why can't they too right? I just sometimes feel like I am running this race, trying to protect my emotions and enjoy life more and I feel like I am sadly losing the battle to just get things together and be a whole person. 

  I wish people just could be more upfront and honest with one another and put the opportunist, sneaky, snarky stuff on the back burner for a while. I see so much of it on Plurk and in Second Life and it really just gets overwhelming sometimes. I really am having a harder time than ever knowing who I can trust in my life, it is really very scary sometimes. And frankly, this lady is just too damn hold to play a bunch of games just to realize someone isn't worth the time and effort, ya know?

  Anyway that's the ranting I have been dealing with today, I do forgive the people who have hurt me these past months and hope they find the peace in their lives they are lacking. I just know the grudges I have tried to fight will most likely be sitting at the front door if someone comes knocking offering apologies. I don't think I have it in me right now to truly just "let it all go". I'm trying though, have to give me that.

XOXO,

Brie

Today's "Word Of The Day": PERSERVERANCE

PERSERVERANCE

noun per·se·ver·ance -[pur-suh-veer-uhns]

 1.steady persistence in a course of action, a purpose, a state, etc., especially in spite of difficulties, obstacles, or discouragement.


Well kids another day is over, I for one am pooped. My Meniere's Disease has been kicking my butt lately, too much vertigo and ear ringing for one person, you would swear I spent my youth in all of the raves ever. Really very tired of feeling tired and sick all the time but what can a girl do, right?

  Today's word is something I have over time grown to appreciate. A persons ability to persevere through hard times. Just when you think the muddy boot of life has pushed you down as far as you can go, shockingly it is when you really find out the stuff you are made of. I have watched it in others and have found this ability in myself time and time again.

  More so with Second Life than any other internet based part of my virtual life, I have had to come back from times where I truly thought I just could not go on and have shocked myself with how much stronger I truly am inside. Lately I have felt more confident and at peace with the circumstances that have brought me here. I forgive those who chose to single me out and target me, who tried so hard to make a mock example of something that I have come to find so very many creators have been tapping into. Not saying it is right, just I know I am not alone in how and where I have acquired things, so I am not an example, I am just the one they chose to sink their teeth in for their own reasons.

  Now I am usually one to hold a grudge and though I am finding it way hard to not want to find the people who attacked me and have a little "Come to Jesus" moment with them, I choose to just let it go and try to be happy. I find myself wanting to create again, not sure what but something, ya know? I am really proud of myself for wanting to move on and not let those who have their own agendas drag me down, and those around me.

  I am ever so grateful for the friendships I have made over the past few months and ever more grateful for those that have solidified and grown as well. It really is true what people say, in times of hardship you truly do find who you can count on. And for them I truly am appreciative, you know who you all are so I wont bore the masses with all my fancy wording :)

  So when you feel like life has got you in a corner and you are just no ones favorite person, put on your stilettos and raise above the muck and the mess and just BE HAPPY with who you are. In that you truly will find strength and the ability to yes, Persevere in spite of the hard times. I know right now you may feel like you will never see the sunrise but I promise you, when you turn the bend you will and it will be glorious.

  Life is like a roller coaster kids, without the lows you would never know when things were at their height and fabulous. So sit back, try to be patient, the ride will get better.

XOXO,
Brie

52 Weeks of Color Challenge - Week 6, Alice Blue

This week's color features pregnant me. My daughter Kyia will  be born on March 4, 2012. I am so excited and it gives me the opportunity to look cute and pregnant!

Head to Toe of it:
Skin: [Ill] Illusory Skin - Love_Milk - Scarlett (From Collabor88 Feb)
Hair: [e] Abbey - Blonde 02
Ears: :Hebenon Vial: Pierced! Ears [Cutie Cartoons Pack] v3.0
Eyelashes: [sauce] back to basics lashes
Piercings: fACE plug PIERCINGS 2 *BND*
Freckles: :[P]:- Ataciara Makeups- Freckle Face.
Cardigan: {Happy} Preppy Cardi (Tan)
Shirt: London & Bird: Alice Blue Cotton Tee - Shirt
Pants: Miamai_Oz Jeans Grey (Boots)
Boots: [Gos] Aviator Boots - Amelia in Tan