My Life's Philosophy

People Learn What They Live

By Dorothy Law Nolte

If people live with criticism,

They learn to condemn.

If people live with hostility,

They learn to fight.

If people live with ridicule,

They learn to be shy.

If people live with shame,

They learn to feel guilty.

If people live with encouragement,

They learn confidence.

If people live with tolerance,

They learn to be patient.

If people live with praise,

They learn to appreciate.

If people live with acceptance,

They learn to love.

If people live with approval,

They learn to like themselves.

If people live with honesty,

They learn truthfulness.

If people live with security,

They learn to have faith in themselves and others.

If people live with friendliness,

They learn the world is a beautiful place in which to live.

Imagine what a world we  could create if we all learned to live by these simple truths.

Today's "Word Of The Day" - INDEPENDENCE

INDEPENDENCE

in·de·pend·ence -[in-di-pen-duhns] 

noun

1.Also, independency. the state or quality of being independent.

2.freedom from the control, influence, support, aid, or the like, of others.

 

Happy 4th American readers (even though it is technically the 5th now)!

  I have had a lot on my mind lately so I apologize for neglecting you all.  As some of you know and I have talked briefly about in past blog entries, I grew up not the most loved person in the world. I actually was taken from my parents when I was just about Sammi's age and made a ward of the state of California. They felt neither of my parents were fit to care for me either due to drugs and alcohol (which was my Mother) or outright neglect and indifference (which was my Father). I spent close to a year hopping from one foster home to another until just after my 11th birthday, I ended up in a group home facility. Now most of you are thinking, gee that had to have been horrible... but it wasn't. I mean sure, there are some downright shitty foster parents out there and I had my fair share of them. But I also had some really amazing people who truly cared about me, who loved and cared about me and wanting my life to be okay. Most of those people I met when I spent close to 4 years in this amazing group home in Northern California, I am fortunate to say they saved me and really helped shape the core of who I am to this day.

  The group home at the time was run by a retired Priest, the facility itself was formerly a nunnery, that is a place Nuns lived. It was large and beautiful, they took in kids from 6-18 and had their own school, church, pool, park... it was really a unique place. Father Steve was the Priest who was the director and he truly loved each and every one of us. There were close to 200 children at any given time and he knew each and every one of our names, it was really amazing now that I look back on it. His goal was to give us a safe place to be, where we could come to terms with the abuse and life we had been dealt and to give us good life skills to take with us into adulthood. We had everything we needed right there to make sure we had the highest chance at success and though it didnt fix some of the demons most of us carry to this day, it certainly empowered us to be the best people we could be.

 I was saddened recently when I found a group of people who too had spent their time at this amazing place. Some had been there before I was even born and some I remember fondly from my time there. We are the truest form of family because we share a life that wasnt fair by any means, we endured things most people can not even imagine but it bonded us, gave us something to go on for. I found out a few years ago they closed this place down and the buildings are now on the market to be purchased for god knows what. Apparently Father Steve truly retired and another gentleman took over the Director seat at the facility. he did not share the same love and desire to help children as his predecessor had, he fired most of the amazing staff that had been there nearly 20 years and hired less qualified, more affordable staff who like him, had no business caring for abused and neglected children and teenagers. Kids started running away, going "OC" (off campus) as we called it, and some broke into and vandalized homes in the surrounding neighborhoods. The residents of the town started to complain and so the home had to be closed and as you can see, sold.

   I know it seems funny to you that someone could be so attached to some place that really for all intent and purpose was similar to a prison. But to those of us who were there at that time, it was our home, we were safe there, the people who had hurt us so bad for so long could not touch us there. We were listened to and our stories heard, those people held me when I cried, defended me when I was wronged, they were my family, more than everyone but my grandmother ever was to me. I became a woman in that place, a feat that was frightening, they sat me down and took on the role of a parent, explaining all the facts of life and doing what they could to make it all seem like it was going to be ok. I wish there was more places like this in the world, and it is truly a loss to the world that this one is gone forever. 

   Anyway, I just wanted to share a bit of this with you all because it has been weighing on me a lot lately and well, that is why I have this blog, to share whether it is read or not :)

 

I hope you American's had a safe and wonderful holiday and to everyone, I hope you have an amazing weekend.

 

XOXO,

Brie 

Today's "Word Of The Day" - RISK

RISK

risk - [risk]

verb (used with object)

1.to expose to the chance of injury or loss; hazard: to risk one's life.

2.to venture upon; take or run the chance of: to risk a fall in climbing; to risk a war.

 

 Half the week is over, I think that is plenty of reason to celebrate, don't you?

 

  Today's topic is risk. It has many meanings but my reasoning for bringing it up is our ability (or sometimes inability) to throw caution to the wind and just go for something. I mean you have to put it in these terms, we are on the INTERNET... something that would not exist without the risk some amazingly intelligent people took in developing and fostering this. Because of them risking possible failure we now have the chance to meet and talk to people no matter where they are, and you are here reading this nonsense of a blog.

  My point is this, we hold ourselves back from what could be amazing things in life because sometimes, we fear risking rejection, failure... whatever. If I had never risked joining Second Life I would not have met the love of my life, my child would not have an amazing father, I wouldn't be happy. I mean sure, something else may have come along, but then again maybe not. I think my risk paid off in spades though life hasn't been so easy and we dont get along every day but I have the experience of loving someone and being loved like I have never been loved in my entire life.

  What I am trying to say is sometimes kids, you just have to kick off your shoes and fling yourself into the abyss and hope when you land it is on a pile of pillows and not a pile of rocks. It may not always be the ending you want but hell, you need to live life. We only get one as far as I know and so you should meet the end with some experiences under your belt. Playing it safe is all fine and good but it is really true without risk there truly is no reward. I took a chance on the community in second life and I am so far happy with this choice, I think it was best for me and my overall well-being and happiness.  

  What have you always wanted to do or try but never did? Is there someone you hold feelings for but say nothing for fear they will reject you? Carrying that want around is not healthy, it weighs your heart down and can depress your spirit. I truly believe that sometimes the greatest things come from taking a chance and just going for it. If it is not the ending you want well, that just means what is meant for you is still out there and this gives you the opportunity to go and find your bliss. Why waste life pining for something or someone when you could take the risk and inevitably end right where you are supposed to be?

  Maybe I am tired, or just old and senile, not sure but these are things I have been thinking about lately and so I wanted to share. Maybe it makes you think, maybe it inspires you to try something new or do something you have been afraid to... it is your life, you have control over it, so go make it the best it can be.

 

XOXO,

Brie 

Today's "Word Of The Day": OPTIMISTIC

OPTIMISTIC

op·ti·mis·tic - [op-tuh-mis-tik]

adjective

1.disposed to take a favorable view of events or conditions and to expect the most favorable outcome.

2.reflecting a favorable view of events and conditions and the expectation of a positive outcome; demonstrating optimism: an optimistic plan.

 

 Hello Stranger!

  Sorry I havent written in a bit, I have been BUILDING! It feels great to be making things again and learning something new. My daughter, Carter (In her attempt to nudge me back to work I think)  got this amazing little in-world gadget for me called a mesh studio. It works similar to a prim oven... you build what you want out of prims, add their script and voila! you are handed a mesh file outside of sl to import into blender or whatever you choose to work with. Its been great fun learning and I have found I can make a lot of things this way. It has done a lot for my overall mood and general happiness level. 

   I never thought of myself much of an optimist, I am by nature a realist... meaning I see things in the absolute logical way which isnt always healthy, dreaming is a good thing too. I am really trying to break out of that train of thought and trying to see things in a more positive light. I must admit for all the good I feel creating the little things I have, I am overwhelmingly paranoid that something is going to happen again and for me to stay on my guard. But, I am a creative person and trying to hold back that part of myself is like asking a bird not to fly... just not going to happen.

   So anyway I hope you all have an amazing week, I am going to do my best to do so. 

 

XOXO,

Brie 

Today's "Word Of The Day": EMPATHY

em·pa·thy - [em-puh-thee] 

noun

1. the intellectual identification with or vicarious experiencing of the feelings, thoughts, or attitudes of another.

 

 

Another week, well Sunday is Easter, I suppose I should search my recipes for something to cook the boyface and starfish... Only bad thing about having a tiny family is that all my holiday recipes feed a lot more than the 3 of us. I usually feed my neighbor but he is battling Kidney and Bladder Cancer, so he can't eat most things anymore. 

  Anyway, thoughts for today circle around Empathy and Compassion and how I notice those too are things that really need to be interjected more into our daily lives, whether in the computer or the real world, how we treat others is truly a reflection of who we are and how we are feeling. I was raised in a unique way, in unique places and not really by my parents. My life could have turned out a much different way than it is with me a sincerely worse person. Growing up in the California Foster Care System, I saw and was exposed to some things, I would not wish on anyone else. I watched a girl I shared a room with get raped by another boy in our institution when I was 14 and had to testify against him in court after I reported him to the people running the group home I lived in at the time. I have seen people who I lived with and experienced that part of our life with go down many different roads of live, some criminal and some in the service of others. I have chosen to share bits of who I am to try to give comfort and direction to others who are conflicted or struggling in key moments of their life.

  All the good things I know though, I know from my Grandma, my Nano... she was a really insightful person who had the basic mantra of "Do unto others as you would have them do unto you". Meaning, treat people as you want to be treated... or as I tell my daughter, the best way to have good friends and people in your life is to be good to them. Simple principle isnt it? But something people forget, we take one another for granted to a point, we believe whether we are kind or not, things will work out favorably for us. That is not the case, if we want good in our lives, we must work for it, we must surround ourselves with people who reflect the type of person we want to be.... we must show empathy and compassion for others who are in low points in their journey.... we must do what we can to make life better for not only ourselves, but for others.

  I wonder sometimes how some of us come to forget this simple rule and way of life, why to others people are interchangeable and are rendered useless when they have either fulfilled their purpose or no longer serve as a means to achieving their desired goal.  I think because of my bipolar I see things in a really matter of fact way. I am one of those people who is just right to the point and honest, but this is not the case for so many. So when people deviate from that kind of thinking, for me, I have a difficult time comprehending their actions. 

  His Holiness the Dalai Lama said it best "Be kind whenever possible. It is always possible." We need to stop and remember we are not alone on this planet, we certainly are not the center of this universe so how we choose to treat the people we come in contact, whether those we know or not, we have control over how their experience is with us. I make a conscious effort to do the best I can for those around me. It may not always feel good, sometimes it requires being brutally honest in helping guide them back to a good path, but in the end your life should feel full and yes, happy. We all deserve it, even those who seem to want to infect our lives with misery... happiness is a true God given right, no matter who's God you recognize (or even if you recognize no God at all).

XOXO,

Brie

Today's "Word Of The Day": SERENITY

SERENITY

se·ren·i·ty - [suh-ren-i-tee] 

noun

1.the state or quality of being serene, calm, or tranquil; sereneness.

 

Well happy Friday kids!

  This week started off fast till Wednesday but then boy howdy did it crawl the rest of the week.  I think my week of vacation and Disneyland fun really threw me all out of whack. But the weekend is here so I am going to try to catch up on some sleep and just relax with some friends in the real world. My boyface has a friend who's wife is about to give birth like any time now.... god I remember those days. I certainly do not miss being up all night with a newborn but I am sad because my Sammi is growing up and since she is my last kiddo, I wish I could hold onto her littleness a bit longer. 

  Ive been trying to find inner peace and calmness lately, which has been interesting considering I am waging a all out war with my inner demons all the time. But I think in order to get to a place of just living in the moment, you have to find peace with the things in life you have no control over. Its been interesting and I am learning I am really an impatient person who desires a level of  instant gratification that comes when I need some sort of .... I guess closure or satisfaction right now. It is the spoiled brat in me, go figure there is one inside all that mess. 

  I have struggled this week because I accomplished building things for some friends and family and I am really proud of them but I am so paralyzed by the fear of people making an issue out of me actually making something I just put it in my inventory and go about my day. I wish I didn't care what other people thought about me so much, it really is just something I am increasingly frustrated by. Well maybe someday Ill find my mojo again I don't know, was nice to create something from a mix of meshes I made with a mesh oven (Kind of like a prim oven but for mesh) and some pieces from old projects. Been a hoot I tell ya, maybe someday Ill feel confident enough to show them off, for now I guess they are for me and the people I made them for. Either way I felt mighty productive and I haven't felt that in a long while. 

 

Anyway you have a great night all!

XOXO,

Brie 

Today's "Word Of The Day": FORGIVENESS

FORGIVENESS

for·give·ness - [fer-giv-nis] 

noun

1.act of forgiving; state of being forgiven. 

 

  Today's word is a doozy kids, cause it is something I struggle to do every day of my life.  There is just times where you feel you were done wrong, you hold onto that feeling and hold a grudge, it is really difficult to let go of. I am like the queen of grudges, something I have tried to get past all my life. But sometimes, I just fall back on my old mantra "once they hurt you they always hurt you", its a protection mechanism and it has got me by relatively well in life I am sad to say.

  The draw back to my holding these grudges is I have built huge walls to protect my emotional self. I mean don't get me wrong, I talk the talk really well, I am super friendly and I can even be downright nice to people who have in the past thrown me head-first under a bus. But inside I am seething with ill will. I hate feeling like that, its like a cancer that at times gets out of control. I fear I have missed out on some good friendships in my life because of my inability to really truly forgive a person.

  Don't get me wrong, my self preservation has at times gone on vacation, and I have forgiven people I probably shouldn't, Lately, the little person in my head who sometimes sounds like my ex and has a really big mouth has done the Will and Grace "I Told You So" dance more than once. And I feel stupid for letting them in my life. But hey, its part of growing, and growing is something you do your entire life. 

  I am trying really hard to shut down that inner monologue and just go with things more in life, trying to give people the benefit of the doubt and stuff. I mean hey, if I grow and change with my experiences, why can't they too right? I just sometimes feel like I am running this race, trying to protect my emotions and enjoy life more and I feel like I am sadly losing the battle to just get things together and be a whole person. 

  I wish people just could be more upfront and honest with one another and put the opportunist, sneaky, snarky stuff on the back burner for a while. I see so much of it on Plurk and in Second Life and it really just gets overwhelming sometimes. I really am having a harder time than ever knowing who I can trust in my life, it is really very scary sometimes. And frankly, this lady is just too damn hold to play a bunch of games just to realize someone isn't worth the time and effort, ya know?

  Anyway that's the ranting I have been dealing with today, I do forgive the people who have hurt me these past months and hope they find the peace in their lives they are lacking. I just know the grudges I have tried to fight will most likely be sitting at the front door if someone comes knocking offering apologies. I don't think I have it in me right now to truly just "let it all go". I'm trying though, have to give me that.

XOXO,

Brie

Today's "Word Of The Day": PERSERVERANCE

PERSERVERANCE

noun per·se·ver·ance -[pur-suh-veer-uhns]

 1.steady persistence in a course of action, a purpose, a state, etc., especially in spite of difficulties, obstacles, or discouragement.


Well kids another day is over, I for one am pooped. My Meniere's Disease has been kicking my butt lately, too much vertigo and ear ringing for one person, you would swear I spent my youth in all of the raves ever. Really very tired of feeling tired and sick all the time but what can a girl do, right?

  Today's word is something I have over time grown to appreciate. A persons ability to persevere through hard times. Just when you think the muddy boot of life has pushed you down as far as you can go, shockingly it is when you really find out the stuff you are made of. I have watched it in others and have found this ability in myself time and time again.

  More so with Second Life than any other internet based part of my virtual life, I have had to come back from times where I truly thought I just could not go on and have shocked myself with how much stronger I truly am inside. Lately I have felt more confident and at peace with the circumstances that have brought me here. I forgive those who chose to single me out and target me, who tried so hard to make a mock example of something that I have come to find so very many creators have been tapping into. Not saying it is right, just I know I am not alone in how and where I have acquired things, so I am not an example, I am just the one they chose to sink their teeth in for their own reasons.

  Now I am usually one to hold a grudge and though I am finding it way hard to not want to find the people who attacked me and have a little "Come to Jesus" moment with them, I choose to just let it go and try to be happy. I find myself wanting to create again, not sure what but something, ya know? I am really proud of myself for wanting to move on and not let those who have their own agendas drag me down, and those around me.

  I am ever so grateful for the friendships I have made over the past few months and ever more grateful for those that have solidified and grown as well. It really is true what people say, in times of hardship you truly do find who you can count on. And for them I truly am appreciative, you know who you all are so I wont bore the masses with all my fancy wording :)

  So when you feel like life has got you in a corner and you are just no ones favorite person, put on your stilettos and raise above the muck and the mess and just BE HAPPY with who you are. In that you truly will find strength and the ability to yes, Persevere in spite of the hard times. I know right now you may feel like you will never see the sunrise but I promise you, when you turn the bend you will and it will be glorious.

  Life is like a roller coaster kids, without the lows you would never know when things were at their height and fabulous. So sit back, try to be patient, the ride will get better.

XOXO,
Brie

Today's "Word Of The Day" : REGRET

re·gret [ri-gret]

verb (used with object)

1.to feel sorrow or remorse for (an act, fault, disappointment, etc.): He no sooner spoke than he regretted it.

2.to think of with a sense of loss: to regret one's vanished youth.

noun

3.a sense of loss, disappointment, dissatisfaction, etc.

4.a feeling of sorrow or remorse for a fault, act, loss, disappointment, etc.

5.regrets, a polite, usually formal refusal of an invitation: I sent her my regrets.

6.a note expressing regret at one's inability to accept an invitation: I have had four acceptances and one regret.

My Name is Brie, I am a Bacon Addict.

  I can remember the first time I had a piece of really good bacon. I was about 7, I was staying with my grandma for the weekend as I did most weekends. But this weekend she thought I was finally grown up enough to have a "big person's" breakfast. So she had me lay under a blanket on the couch and watch cartoons while she got down to work.
  The sounds of Scooby and Shaggy were suddenly overpowered by the sizzling and amazing smell coming from the kitchen. My grandma brought out her ridiculously old cast iron skillet and began frying up bacon. I am sure I had some before then, but somehow that day it smelled so much better. She made us a few pieces each and fried up 2 eggs (1 for me, 1 for her) and made us each some toast. She topped it off with a cup of "coffee", which was basically coffee flavored warm milk but I thought it was the real thing. She then put it all on a little tray and brought it to me on the couch. And there we sat, with our big persons breakfast, watching Scooby Doo. It was a perfect way to start a day.
  Many, many years later, she was much older and I was well, older too. I was a mother and I lived with her now. She wasnt as healthy as she used to be and I was there to take care of her. My daughter was 4 and I was just getting out of the shower when down the hall I hear my grandmother telling my daughter... "Now Sammi, I think you are a big girl now, how about Nano makes you a big person's breakfast".
  I smile now when I think about it, she passed away this past March, she was hands down the best friend I ever had in my life. She taught me to live simply, to love deeply and to cherish each moment you have. She also taught me to love bacon, which I torment all my friends and pseudo-family with to this day. My daughter loves it too, and her "big person" breakfasts that we have, sitting on the couch just like she did with me. Except now instead of Scooby doo, we are watching Ruby Gloom or Monster High or whatever is cool to Sammi that week.
  So hi, my name is Brie.... I am a bacon addict :)

What I am wearing from head, to toe:

Hair: [e] Locked - Red 08
Skin: Glam Affair - Ginny - Europa - 02 Red HB
Bathing Suit: Pig - Bacon Wrap
Feet: Slink Womens Natural Barefeet (Mesh Rigged)
Glasses: Miamai_Rita Ivory Sunglasses
Necklace: BaCoN ~ Plate O' Happy Necklace
Nails: Synthetique Ultimate French Series -01-