Today's "Word Of The Day" - RISK

RISK

risk - [risk]

verb (used with object)

1.to expose to the chance of injury or loss; hazard: to risk one's life.

2.to venture upon; take or run the chance of: to risk a fall in climbing; to risk a war.

 

 Half the week is over, I think that is plenty of reason to celebrate, don't you?

 

  Today's topic is risk. It has many meanings but my reasoning for bringing it up is our ability (or sometimes inability) to throw caution to the wind and just go for something. I mean you have to put it in these terms, we are on the INTERNET... something that would not exist without the risk some amazingly intelligent people took in developing and fostering this. Because of them risking possible failure we now have the chance to meet and talk to people no matter where they are, and you are here reading this nonsense of a blog.

  My point is this, we hold ourselves back from what could be amazing things in life because sometimes, we fear risking rejection, failure... whatever. If I had never risked joining Second Life I would not have met the love of my life, my child would not have an amazing father, I wouldn't be happy. I mean sure, something else may have come along, but then again maybe not. I think my risk paid off in spades though life hasn't been so easy and we dont get along every day but I have the experience of loving someone and being loved like I have never been loved in my entire life.

  What I am trying to say is sometimes kids, you just have to kick off your shoes and fling yourself into the abyss and hope when you land it is on a pile of pillows and not a pile of rocks. It may not always be the ending you want but hell, you need to live life. We only get one as far as I know and so you should meet the end with some experiences under your belt. Playing it safe is all fine and good but it is really true without risk there truly is no reward. I took a chance on the community in second life and I am so far happy with this choice, I think it was best for me and my overall well-being and happiness.  

  What have you always wanted to do or try but never did? Is there someone you hold feelings for but say nothing for fear they will reject you? Carrying that want around is not healthy, it weighs your heart down and can depress your spirit. I truly believe that sometimes the greatest things come from taking a chance and just going for it. If it is not the ending you want well, that just means what is meant for you is still out there and this gives you the opportunity to go and find your bliss. Why waste life pining for something or someone when you could take the risk and inevitably end right where you are supposed to be?

  Maybe I am tired, or just old and senile, not sure but these are things I have been thinking about lately and so I wanted to share. Maybe it makes you think, maybe it inspires you to try something new or do something you have been afraid to... it is your life, you have control over it, so go make it the best it can be.

 

XOXO,

Brie 

Today's "Word Of The Day": RESILIENCE

RESILIENCE

re·sil·ience - [ri-zil-yuhns, -zil-ee-uhns] 

noun

1.the power or ability to return to the original form, position, etc., after being bent, compressed, or stretched; elasticity.

2.ability to recover readily from illness, depression, adversity, or the like; buoyancy.

 

 Happy Caturday all!

  I have had quite an interesting week. Most of it has been taking care of Ken and Sammi, who both decided it would be fun to get sick, lets hope they didn't share. But the week ended on one of the highest notes ever in my Second Life history. I woke up today with a smile, confident that things are going to get better, and all the low points over the last few months have been worth it. It has made me a better person and shown me some amazing friends that I knew I had but really didnt know how valued they were to me.

  Without my friends and family I would not have started building again, I wouldnt have had the courage to learn mesh and to continue learning to become a better content creator. Id like to think my love and happiness is showing through in the items I have put out to sell under a new name and new style of furniture for me. I am taking my love of reusing things in new and creative ways into Second Life and offering individual pieces that I hope will add character to homes on the grid. 

  These things are like me, once looked upon as useless and with no value but with some creativity and a different outlook can be made new and functional and yes, needed. I named my new store [Noble] because Noble has such a strong meaning, that of not only being distinguished and royal (which I am certainly not) but being of good moral character (which I try hard to be). It is also my family name, that of my Parents, Noah and Blossom Noble. These two people have given me so much strength and love since the moment I met them. I really dont know what would have happened if I did not have them, my siblings, my children and grandchildren loving and supporting me. 

 

  Everyone should have a good, stable support system in their life and before I came to Second Life, I did not have that kind of support system. I have parents, family... but I do not talk with them. They chose themselves and superficial things and not the core meaning that is family. I never felt welcome or a part of a family unit until recently. My family in real life (Besides my Grandma, Sammi and Ken of course) put a price on their love, I had to be what they wanted in order to be worthy of their love. It always made me feel like a failure as a person, that I was never enough for them so how could I be enough for anyone else in my life. These amazing people have shown me that love is something you give freely, it wraps you like a blanket and helps keep you safe and offer a buffer to the hate and ugliness that can exist in the real world. 

 I really can not ever tell my amazing Noble family how much I have appreciated being a part of your family and part of your lives. You have given me a truly precious gift, one I cherish above anything else. Without you all, I dont think I would feel 1/4 as happy as I do. I only hope to repay you all someday for your kindness, not sure how I will but I will certainly try. I love you all more than I could express on this blog. You are amazing people and I feel truly blessed to know each and every one of you.

 

XOXO,

Brie

 If you would like to visit [Noble], here is a link.

Today's "Word Of The Day": FORGIVENESS

FORGIVENESS

for·give·ness - [fer-giv-nis] 

noun

1.act of forgiving; state of being forgiven. 

 

  Today's word is a doozy kids, cause it is something I struggle to do every day of my life.  There is just times where you feel you were done wrong, you hold onto that feeling and hold a grudge, it is really difficult to let go of. I am like the queen of grudges, something I have tried to get past all my life. But sometimes, I just fall back on my old mantra "once they hurt you they always hurt you", its a protection mechanism and it has got me by relatively well in life I am sad to say.

  The draw back to my holding these grudges is I have built huge walls to protect my emotional self. I mean don't get me wrong, I talk the talk really well, I am super friendly and I can even be downright nice to people who have in the past thrown me head-first under a bus. But inside I am seething with ill will. I hate feeling like that, its like a cancer that at times gets out of control. I fear I have missed out on some good friendships in my life because of my inability to really truly forgive a person.

  Don't get me wrong, my self preservation has at times gone on vacation, and I have forgiven people I probably shouldn't, Lately, the little person in my head who sometimes sounds like my ex and has a really big mouth has done the Will and Grace "I Told You So" dance more than once. And I feel stupid for letting them in my life. But hey, its part of growing, and growing is something you do your entire life. 

  I am trying really hard to shut down that inner monologue and just go with things more in life, trying to give people the benefit of the doubt and stuff. I mean hey, if I grow and change with my experiences, why can't they too right? I just sometimes feel like I am running this race, trying to protect my emotions and enjoy life more and I feel like I am sadly losing the battle to just get things together and be a whole person. 

  I wish people just could be more upfront and honest with one another and put the opportunist, sneaky, snarky stuff on the back burner for a while. I see so much of it on Plurk and in Second Life and it really just gets overwhelming sometimes. I really am having a harder time than ever knowing who I can trust in my life, it is really very scary sometimes. And frankly, this lady is just too damn hold to play a bunch of games just to realize someone isn't worth the time and effort, ya know?

  Anyway that's the ranting I have been dealing with today, I do forgive the people who have hurt me these past months and hope they find the peace in their lives they are lacking. I just know the grudges I have tried to fight will most likely be sitting at the front door if someone comes knocking offering apologies. I don't think I have it in me right now to truly just "let it all go". I'm trying though, have to give me that.

XOXO,

Brie

Always a Bridesmaid

Well Happy (almost) New Year!
  I have sadly been feeling a bit in the dumps lately. I shouldn't but then like we don't have an off button for feeling, though I truly wish I did. For Christmas this year I watched 4 friends get engaged both in real life and second life... and lately my SL Daughter/RL Friend get married, and my Godsparkle get engaged. I am so very happy for all of these people because Love is beautiful and rare and when it happens you need to hold it tight. That said it also makes my heart a little sad and here we are, me wishing it wasn't.
  I have been with my boyfriend for going on 5 years and we have lived together almost 4 and a half of those. For those who dont know me, we met in SL almost 5 years ago and well, it was a surprising love but it is very much love all the same. He has been an amazing partner to me in real life, he has cared for me with my Meniere's Disease and been a exceptional father to my daughter. I have been married before and so I know the alternate version of this story.... him I am truly grateful to have in my life.
  The only thing is I sincerely have never seen myself old and still with the person I was in a relationship with... not even my ex-husband. We were married nearly a decade and I always knew it was not going to last, I don't regret it though I learned a lot about myself from him and what I want in a partner. But boyface, I see myself old and still with him, like those cute little old people who still at 80 hold hands when they walk down the street. I have never felt it was ok to just be me with someone till I met him, so I just want that evidence he feels that for me too.
  But for his own reasons, and much to my hearts ache he doesn't want to get married. Logically I know its for his reasons, it has little to do with me personally. But my heart feels like it is that I am not enough for him as a person, that maybe there is someone out there he would much rather give that commitment to, he just hasn't met her yet. Now before you yell at me, don't. I know this isn't the reason just makes me sad and something I will just have to get over in time. And before you tell me we dont HAVE TO get married... this I know as well. But I am not exactly well and though I am not 80 I certainly am not 20, I have a child who loves him and I would like him to legally be her parent. These things can not happen unless we are married, the ways to achieve this otherwise are lengthy and complicated and just too expensive. And frankly, I love the man more than I have loved anyone outside of my grandma and children, and I just would like to be able to say "This is my husband" and mean it.
  I really hope the new year allows me to make peace with this and just enjoy things as they are. I am lucky to have found someone who loves me, not everyone has this in their life and I really should just be grateful for that. I think once I come to terms with it and put that away I will be able to enjoy things a little more. So I guess my resolution is to enjoy being in the moment more, if that makes any sense. Thanks for letting me rant here to you, you always are such a good listener.

Have a great New Year and be safe.
XOXO,
Brie