Always a Bridesmaid

Well Happy (almost) New Year!
  I have sadly been feeling a bit in the dumps lately. I shouldn't but then like we don't have an off button for feeling, though I truly wish I did. For Christmas this year I watched 4 friends get engaged both in real life and second life... and lately my SL Daughter/RL Friend get married, and my Godsparkle get engaged. I am so very happy for all of these people because Love is beautiful and rare and when it happens you need to hold it tight. That said it also makes my heart a little sad and here we are, me wishing it wasn't.
  I have been with my boyfriend for going on 5 years and we have lived together almost 4 and a half of those. For those who dont know me, we met in SL almost 5 years ago and well, it was a surprising love but it is very much love all the same. He has been an amazing partner to me in real life, he has cared for me with my Meniere's Disease and been a exceptional father to my daughter. I have been married before and so I know the alternate version of this story.... him I am truly grateful to have in my life.
  The only thing is I sincerely have never seen myself old and still with the person I was in a relationship with... not even my ex-husband. We were married nearly a decade and I always knew it was not going to last, I don't regret it though I learned a lot about myself from him and what I want in a partner. But boyface, I see myself old and still with him, like those cute little old people who still at 80 hold hands when they walk down the street. I have never felt it was ok to just be me with someone till I met him, so I just want that evidence he feels that for me too.
  But for his own reasons, and much to my hearts ache he doesn't want to get married. Logically I know its for his reasons, it has little to do with me personally. But my heart feels like it is that I am not enough for him as a person, that maybe there is someone out there he would much rather give that commitment to, he just hasn't met her yet. Now before you yell at me, don't. I know this isn't the reason just makes me sad and something I will just have to get over in time. And before you tell me we dont HAVE TO get married... this I know as well. But I am not exactly well and though I am not 80 I certainly am not 20, I have a child who loves him and I would like him to legally be her parent. These things can not happen unless we are married, the ways to achieve this otherwise are lengthy and complicated and just too expensive. And frankly, I love the man more than I have loved anyone outside of my grandma and children, and I just would like to be able to say "This is my husband" and mean it.
  I really hope the new year allows me to make peace with this and just enjoy things as they are. I am lucky to have found someone who loves me, not everyone has this in their life and I really should just be grateful for that. I think once I come to terms with it and put that away I will be able to enjoy things a little more. So I guess my resolution is to enjoy being in the moment more, if that makes any sense. Thanks for letting me rant here to you, you always are such a good listener.

Have a great New Year and be safe.
XOXO,
Brie

Putting Shoppers in the Spirit... of "Horny"ness


Well hello stranger, long time no blog!

  I am sorry I have been an absolute horrid friend, I have been busy busy building and not taking awesome time to make pictures or write you my very public letters. I hope your holidays have been kind so far, we are almost to the half way point so hold on tight! I was personally a bit disappointed the Zombie Apocalypse didnt come today, I had my lawn mower all gassed up and ready to go... oh well now my other half can mow the lawn :)

  I dont know if you have been paying attention but there are some truly wonderful holiday offerings out and about on the grid lately! First is this amazing and very unique manly christmas tree found at a simply amazing event called "The Men's Department" Cheeky Pea makes this amazing antler tree, the candles that are the "ornaments" are color change, its really quite stunning.  Then lets see, my simply stunning rack (and I mean the antlers, head out of the gutter please) is part of the 12 days of Christmas from Aux which my god they make such coolness, the skin is also Aux for the 12 days and you can go down and grab them up until Christmas (or the day after maybe, crossing fingers). My super cute outfit is part of a Christmas gift from The Secret Store which I love her stuff, its just a little funky without just being weird. And I needed shoes so this month's lap of the Collabor88 had these cute combat boots from Monso and I had my Maxi Gossamer cats eye glasses so I shoved those on. I think I look festive, which is a stretch for me because to be honest I am just not feeling terribly merry and bright these days.

  So anyway, break out the nog, make sure all your gifts are wrapped and I will meet you at my cat adorned Christmas tree (Its frightening, really... they claimed my tree). I will be the gal poking my neighbor with her cute antlers and knocking back drinks. I truly hope that you and yours enjoy a joyous season, whether you are recovering from a beautiful Hanukkah or getting ready for Christmas or Kwanza. The last few days of 2012 are ticking by all too fast and I for one am pretty excited about what 2013 has in store for me and my loved ones.

Happy Holidays !
XOXO,
Brie

25 Days of Song - Day 6 (A Song That Reminds Me of my Best Friend)






Look at me I'm Sandra Dee
Lousy with virginity
Won't go to bed till I'm legally wed
I can't I'm Sandra Dee

Watch it! Hey, I'm Doris Day
I was not brought up that way
Won't come across even Rock Hudson lost
(All): His heart to Doris Day

I don't drink (No! ) or swear (Oh! )
I don't rat my hair (Ew! )
I get I'll from one cigarette
(Cough, cough, cough)
Keep your filthy paws off my silky drawers
Would you pull that crap with Annette?

As for you Troy Donahue
I know what you wanna do
You've got your crust I'm no object of lust
(All): I'm just plain Sandra Dee
(Laughter)

Elvis, Elvis, let me be
Keep that pelvis far from me
Just keep your cool now you're starting to drool

Hey, Fongul, I'm Sandra Dee

 

25 Days of Song - Day 5 (A Song That is Often Stuck in my Head )



This is the song that never ends.
It goes on and on my friends.
Someone started singing it not knowing what it was,
and they'll continue singing it forever just because,
(then repeat back at top) 


... and now its stuck in your head, huh?


25 Days of Song - Day 4 (A Song That Calms Me)


I love piano music, I listen to it every night and when I am feeling stressed out. George Winston is hands down my favorite pianist he has many CDs out and his music conveys real emotion. I am glad I could share this song with you, I played it on a walkman when I was pregnant with my daughter so she could love good music from the beginning.


25 Days of Song - Day 3 (A Song That Reminds me of my Parents)


"Hey, ain't life wonderful? Wonderful, wonderful, wonderful... Isn't everything wonderful now?"

I close my eyes when I get too sad
I think thoughts that I know are bad
Close my eyes and I count to ten
Hope it's over when I open them

I want the things that I had before
Like a Star Wars poster on my bedroom door
I wish I could count to ten
Make everything be wonderful again

I hope my Mom
And I hope my Dad
Would figure out why they get so mad
I hear them scream
I hear them fight
They say bad words that make me wanna cry

I close my eyes when I go to bed
And I dream of angels that make me smile
I feel better when I hear them say
"Everything will be wonderful someday"

Promises mean everything
When you're little and the world's so big
I just don't understand how
You can smile with all those tears in your eyes
And tell me everything is wonderful now

Please don't tell me everything is wonderful now

I go to school and I run and play
I tell the kids that it's all ok
I laugh a lot so my friends won't know
When the bell rings I just don't wanna go
[ Lyrics from: http://www.lyricsfreak.com/e/everclear/wonderful_20052019.html ]
Go to my room and I close my eyes
I make believe that I have a new life
I don't believe you when you say
Everything will be wonderful some day

Promises mean everything
When you're little and the world's so big
I just don't understand how
You can smile with all those tears in your eyes
And tell me everything is wonderful now

No, no
I don't want to hear you tell me everything is wonderful now
No, no
I don't want to hear you tell me everything is wonderful now

I don't want to hear you say
That I will understand some day
No, no, no, no
I don't want to hear you say
That you both have grown in a different way
No, no, no, no
I don't want to meet your friends
And I don't want to start over again
I just want my life to be the same
Just like it used to be
Some days I hate everything
I hate everything
Everyone and everything

Please don't tell me everything is wonderful now...
No
Please don't tell me everything is wonderful now...
No
Please don't tell me everything is wonderful now...
No
I don't want to hear you tell me everything is wonderful now...
No
Please don't tell me everything is wonderful now...

Everything is wonderful now...
Everything is wonderful now...
Now
Now
Everything is wonderful now...

25 Songs of Christmas - Day2 (A Song That Reminds me of my Last Ex)






Look inside,
Look inside your tiny mind
Now look a bit harder
Cause we're so uninspired,
so sick and tired of all the
hatred you harbor

So you say
It's not okay to be gay
Well I think you're just evil
You're just some racist who
can't tie my laces
Your point of view is medieval

F*ck you (F*ck you)
F*ck you very, very much
Cause we hate what you do
And we hate your whole crew
So please don't stay in touch

F*ck you (F*ck You)
F*ck you very, very much
Cause your words don't translate
And it's getting quite late
So please don't stay in touch

Do you get,
Do you get a little kick out of
being slow minded?
You want to be like your father
It's approval your after
Well that's not how you find it

Do you,
Do you really enjoy living a
life that's so hateful?
Cause there's a hole where
your soul should be
Your losing control of it and
it's really distasteful

F*ck you (F*ck You)
F*ck you very, very much
Cause we hate what you do
And we hate your whole crew
So please don't stay in touch

F*ck you (F*ck You)
F*ck you very, very much
Cause your words don't
translate and it's getting
quite late
So please don't stay in touch

F*ck you, F*ck you, F*ck you,
F*ck you, F*ck you, F*ck you,
F*ck yooooou

You say
You think we need to go to war
well you're already in one
Cause it's people like you
who need to get slew
No one wants your opinion

F*ck you (F*ck You)
F*ck you very, very much
Cause we hate what you do
And we hate your whole crew
So please don't stay in touch

F*ck you (F*ck You)
F*ck you very, very much
Cause your words don't
translate and it's getting
quite late
So please don't stay in touch

F*ck you, F*ck you
F*ck you, F*ck you
F*ck you, F*ck you



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