Today's "Word Of The Day" - APATHY


ap·a·thy - [ap-uh-thee] 

noun, plural ap·a·thies.

1.absence or suppression of passion, emotion, or excitement.
2.lack of interest in or concern for things that others find moving or exciting.
3.Also, ap·a·thei·a, ap·a·thi·a [ap-uh-thee-uh] . Stoicism. freedom from emotion of any kind.
  Sorry I skipped a few days of writing, I had a 10 year old with the flu. Very messy business indeed. I was laying in bed with her today and saw a commercial on Cartoon Network about a movie they are going to be showing Sunday evening (April 28,2013 at 5:30/4:30c) it is a documentary called Bully , a story that follows the lives of five families touched by bullying either for themselves or their children. I am planning on watching it with Sammi and I really hope everyone tries to make time to watch it as well.
   Bullying is a really important issue for me. As a kid I wasn't bullied but that was because most kids were afraid of me. When I was 8 I tried to kill myself and my best friend confided it in a teacher, who reported it and I was removed in an ambulance right there at school and taken to a Mental Hospital for a month. That kind of stigma kind of follows you... people assumed I was "crazy" and so they didn't poke the bear with a stick as they say. It made life much easier when the rest of it was in chaos and turmoil so for that I am grateful.
  My daughter though was not so lucky. We moved to Phoenix right after her first grade year started. I thought this was going to be great. My outgoing, kind, loving child would surely make tons of friend, I mean who doesn't like a compassionate amazing friend? But the kids in her class didn't greet her so warmly not sure why they just felt she was different and so they clamped on. The worst was a boy who systematically tortured my child with graphic tales of how he was watching her even when not at school and the things he would do to her... it was horrible.
  My heart broke as I watched my happy, outgoing child slowly turn inward and become nothing like she had been even a few months before. I had to have her put on sleeping medication to help because she was having night terrors and was no longer sleeping much. I repeatedly had talks with her teacher and the school, even the boy's grandfather but they all took the "kids are cruel it gets better" thought process. I felt completely at a loss at what to do to protect my child. Nothing I said gave her much comfort, and the people who were responsible for protecting her at the school were completely dropping the proverbial ball. 
  It all came to a head  2 weeks before the school year ended, the day before field day the kids were walking to where they meet the parents after school and her bully informed her he was going to shoot her Dad. She was hysterical and really worried that something was going to happen to Ken. Now you need to remember, these are 6 year old kids, first graders... where would a kid that age learn about such violence? I immediately went to the school office and had a sit down meeting with the school's Assistant Principal. She assured me the boy would be called to the office, his guardians contacted and would be suspended the next morning. I left feeling hopeful that finally, this would be dealt with and the boy reprimanded.
  My heart sank though the very next day when my daughter slowly walked to meet me at my car and informed me that the boy was not only not suspended but he was allowed to participate the field day, a day that was fun and a reward for a good year. I had never felt more let down by a group of people in my life. I calmed my daughter, went home and immediately called the superintendent of the school district and had a long talk, filed a complaint against the school and then did the same thing at the State Board of Education. I firmly believe things like this should never happen in schools, our children should be safe.
  I think the moment I knew this was truly a serious problem that desperately needs to be remedied was when I spoke with the school's Principal. I explained I would be homeschooling my daughter for the remainder of the year and then be removing her and enrolling her in a new school. She actually asked me why and when I explained that my daughter was not safe under their care, her response was that because the boy did not physically assault her she was never in any real danger. I realized this is a misconception that is shared by a lot of people in this country. That just because it is words, it isn't hurting the kids seriously.  If anything, it is worse... if he had hit her, she could have defended herself, hit him back, something. But he left her feeling helpless and violated, it took a long time to get her to a place where she feels safe and secure again.
  Parents or not, if you see someone, anyone, being mistreated by someone I urge you to stop and say something. We have grown into a community that is apathetic to the needs of others, we choose to not get involved because it isn't our business or some other nonsense excuse.  You have to think, if this was you, would you want someone to stand up for you? It is not something we should ever be ok with. It is not kids being kids, kids picking on kids, people being mean spirited. It is a PROBLEM and turning a blind eye to it is just as bad as saying it is ok, and it leaves those who are being subjected to bullying feeling lost and alone and frankly, abandoned.
  My daughter is in a new school that has an honor code and a zero tolerance policy for bullying. She is excelling in school and is regularly awarded for being a good caring person, someone with stellar character and of this I am proud of her.  She also is a loyal friend and has on occasion told bullies to knock it off and stop picking on other kids. It is something I can not express how much I take pride in, it is something I hope she carries with her all her life. I wish more people were like her, it reminds me I did a good job and instilled good qualities in her tiny little self. I hope you take her story and learn something from it and it makes you take notice and a stand against the bullying of others.

Today's "Word Of The Day" - VERTIGO


ver·ti·go - [vur-ti-goh] 

noun, plural ver·ti·goes, ver·tig·i·nes [ver-tij-uh-neez] 

1.a dizzying sensation of tilting within stable surroundings or of being in tilting or spinning surroundings.
 I hope you all had an amazing weekend. Mine was rather quiet and spent at home. I haven't been feeling so well so I have been trying to just take things easy. Which basically means, I lay in bed and do my impression of a potato. Not terribly productive but sometimes, very necessary.
  For those who don't know me so well, I was diagnosed with Meniere's Disease in 2008.  It is an auto-immune disease that effects the inner bony labyrinth of the ear. That is the snail shaped innermost part of your ear that contains fluids that control balance for the human body. It came on suddenly, with no real rhyme or reason and has been a constant in my life ever since. It has symptoms from vertigo to tinnitus (ringing in the ears) and hearing loss. It effects people usually over 40 and in one ear, I am a rare occurrence as I was 33 and I have it in both ears not just one. It has left me unable to work and about 53% hearing impaired, soon I will need to get hearing aids and eventually I will be mostly if not completely deaf.
  Before I got sick I moved here from San Francisco, I had a good job as a bookkeeper for a private charter school  I was really content in my life. When I became sick I had to seek out doctors who took me serious because of my age and the "normal" circumstances of Meniere's patients... it took me over a year to get a actual diagnosis. The craziest part was my own doctor did not diagnose me, the Ear, Nose and Throat doctor that the Social Security Disability people had check me over found this is what happened to me.It has been a true test of patience and knowing trusting that someone would finally take me serious and treat me appropriately. 
  I was really angry for a long time because I truly felt it was unfair to be sick like this. But I have come to the point now I see it as a blessing. It is the universe's way of telling me to slow down, focus on what is important and cherish it. Someday it will no longer be there so embrace it today with all you have. If I hadn't been sick, I would not have the time, real quality time, with my daughter.  I would be working all the time and by the time I got home, just too exhausted to do anything. Volunteering at her school? Never happen. I would not be able to take time from my financial duties to go on field trips and help out with her classroom activities. I wouldn't still be on Second Life, I would have abandoned that long ago. And though it isn't all awesome in there, I create art in the pictures I take and contribute something in the items I create. So, there is a reason for everything... even if I would rather not be so dizzy I fall down, take medication that makes me sleep all day and have to ask people to repeat themselves 128347392 times in a conversation. 
  So you are wondering what the hell is my point? It is this, everything happens for a reason and we all have a choice when given the circumstances of our life. I choose to take it and try to be positive. I could really be miserable and treat everyone horrible and end up alone. But I am choosing to make the most of the time I have because I want to go to my grave with amazing memories. When I meet my son in heaven someday I want to be able to tell him all of the amazing parts of my life, I live for him because he could not.

SL Disneybound Blogger Challenge – Week 6 - Merida

What is the secret of finding the Treasure? There isn't one. The Treasure is everywhere. It is offered to us at every moment and wherever we find ourselves. All creatures, friends or enemies, pour it out abundantly, and it courses through every fiber of our body and soul until it reaches the very core of our being. If we open our mouths they will be filled. God's activity runs through the entire universe. It wells up around and penetrates every created being. Wherever they are, it is there also. It runs ahead of them, it stays with them, and it follows after them. All they have to do is to allow its waves to sweep them forward, fulfill the simple duties of their religion and status in life, accept cheerfully all the difficulties they meet, and surrender to the will of God in all they have to do…. This is authentic spirituality, and it is valid for all times and for everyone. We could not choose to become good in a better, more miraculous, and yet easier way than by the simple use of the means offered us by God; the whole-hearted acceptance of everything that comes to us at every moment of our lives.
-Jean Pierre de Causade, French Priest

Photo taken at T-Town owned by Pixel Mode
Pose & Props are Huntress set 1, pose 2 by Hopscotch

Hair: TRUTH HAIR Kasia -  gingers (Carrot)
Mesh Head: Snow Rabbit Hybrid Avatar_Nea_Natural White
Skin: Glam Affair - Margot - America 02 - Red
Boots: lassitude & ennui Miss Highlands Brown
Quiver: FLECHA sculpted elven quiver

Today's "Word Of The Day" - RISK


risk - [risk]

verb (used with object) expose to the chance of injury or loss; hazard: to risk one's life. venture upon; take or run the chance of: to risk a fall in climbing; to risk a war.
 Half the week is over, I think that is plenty of reason to celebrate, don't you?
  Today's topic is risk. It has many meanings but my reasoning for bringing it up is our ability (or sometimes inability) to throw caution to the wind and just go for something. I mean you have to put it in these terms, we are on the INTERNET... something that would not exist without the risk some amazingly intelligent people took in developing and fostering this. Because of them risking possible failure we now have the chance to meet and talk to people no matter where they are, and you are here reading this nonsense of a blog.
  My point is this, we hold ourselves back from what could be amazing things in life because sometimes, we fear risking rejection, failure... whatever. If I had never risked joining Second Life I would not have met the love of my life, my child would not have an amazing father, I wouldn't be happy. I mean sure, something else may have come along, but then again maybe not. I think my risk paid off in spades though life hasn't been so easy and we dont get along every day but I have the experience of loving someone and being loved like I have never been loved in my entire life.
  What I am trying to say is sometimes kids, you just have to kick off your shoes and fling yourself into the abyss and hope when you land it is on a pile of pillows and not a pile of rocks. It may not always be the ending you want but hell, you need to live life. We only get one as far as I know and so you should meet the end with some experiences under your belt. Playing it safe is all fine and good but it is really true without risk there truly is no reward. I took a chance on the community in second life and I am so far happy with this choice, I think it was best for me and my overall well-being and happiness.  
  What have you always wanted to do or try but never did? Is there someone you hold feelings for but say nothing for fear they will reject you? Carrying that want around is not healthy, it weighs your heart down and can depress your spirit. I truly believe that sometimes the greatest things come from taking a chance and just going for it. If it is not the ending you want well, that just means what is meant for you is still out there and this gives you the opportunity to go and find your bliss. Why waste life pining for something or someone when you could take the risk and inevitably end right where you are supposed to be?
  Maybe I am tired, or just old and senile, not sure but these are things I have been thinking about lately and so I wanted to share. Maybe it makes you think, maybe it inspires you to try something new or do something you have been afraid to... it is your life, you have control over it, so go make it the best it can be.

Today's "Word Of The Day": GENEROSITY


gen·er·os·i·ty - [jen-uh-ros-i-tee] 

noun, plural gen·er·os·i·ties.

1.readiness or liberality in giving.
2.freedom from meanness or smallness of mind or character.
3.a generous act: We thanked him for his many generosities.
4.largeness or fullness; amplitude.

  Well this week started off to a rocky start. My thoughts and prayers go out to the victims in Boston and Iraq with the bombings this past Monday. It really makes one stop and think about what is really important in life. The little things we spend so much energy on, the drama's and fights we pursue... are they really that important? I have kept my Plurk and SL kind of in a bubble so I don't see all the unpleasantness but I notice others really are being bogged down by it. Life is really just too short to spend one moment dealing with someone who is only trying to spread misery to those around you. If we all just stopped for a moment and did one thing to spread a little joy and happiness... could you imagine how much more enjoyable life could be?
  I challenge you all who read this to do 1 selfless act for a complete stranger this week. Whether it is buying coffee for the person behind you at starbucks or helping someone load their groceries in their car, do SOMETHING that gives you joy inside your heart and puts a smile on another persons face. You can post about it in the comments, on plurk, or not at all. All I ask is you try to promote generosity and good will toward the people you come in contact every day. All you should ask that they do in return is to pay it forward and do a kind deed for another person. You can do this in the real world or in Second Life. I just think the world in general is bogged down with so much negativity that we are losing sight of the good that still exists in this world. No one is going to change it for you, so it is up to all of us to go out there and try to do our part.
  I hope you have a better week world. Please don't let the actions of a few sick, misled persons dull the light you carry inside you. Know that for every evil deed being done, 10 amazing miracles are happening elsewhere on this giant rock we call home. And know this one lady in Phoenix, sitting in the dark typing to you all, has faith that there is still good to be found.


SL Disneybound Blogger Challenge – Week 5 – Dory

A walk on the beach
The breeze on your face
Footprints in the sand
That leave not a trace
As the waves they roll in
Rhythmically lapping the shore
The power of the ocean
Hear its mighty roar
Yet calm is all around
Find your own inner peace
Earth wind, and water
Combine to release
Negative thoughts -
Washed away by the tide
Balance and harmony
Feel centred inside
Hand in hand with the elements
Dancing water at your feet
The ocean stretching before you
A horizon never to meet
A walk on the beach
A stroll on the sand
Just you and nature -
Together you stand 

Skin: Glam Affair - Margot - America Clean - Light Brown
Eyes: Poetic Colors Jaded Eyes - Jade - large bright
Freckles: [okkbye] Freckles & Moles - Saphira [PALE]
Hair: /Wasabi Pills/ Amelie Mesh Hair - Gingerbread
Eyelashes: Maxi Gossamer - Eyelashes - Groomed
Shirt: erratic / amy - silk blouse / blue 
Shorts: Baiastice_Ferya Mesh Bermuda-black
Shoes: [whatever] wedge sandal - yellow 
Jewelry: Maxi Gossamer - Necklace, Bracelet, and Earrings - Ritzy Shimmer Pearls 
Rings: EarthStones Twist of Fate Bridal Set and 2 stone Mother's Ring
Glasses:*Fishy Strawberry* College Glasses
Nails: Synthetique Gunmetal Colour Tactics Series

Today's "Word Of The Day": RESILIENCE


re·sil·ience - [ri-zil-yuhns, -zil-ee-uhns] 


1.the power or ability to return to the original form, position, etc., after being bent, compressed, or stretched; elasticity.
2.ability to recover readily from illness, depression, adversity, or the like; buoyancy.
 Happy Caturday all!
  I have had quite an interesting week. Most of it has been taking care of Ken and Sammi, who both decided it would be fun to get sick, lets hope they didn't share. But the week ended on one of the highest notes ever in my Second Life history. I woke up today with a smile, confident that things are going to get better, and all the low points over the last few months have been worth it. It has made me a better person and shown me some amazing friends that I knew I had but really didnt know how valued they were to me.
  Without my friends and family I would not have started building again, I wouldnt have had the courage to learn mesh and to continue learning to become a better content creator. Id like to think my love and happiness is showing through in the items I have put out to sell under a new name and new style of furniture for me. I am taking my love of reusing things in new and creative ways into Second Life and offering individual pieces that I hope will add character to homes on the grid. 
  These things are like me, once looked upon as useless and with no value but with some creativity and a different outlook can be made new and functional and yes, needed. I named my new store [Noble] because Noble has such a strong meaning, that of not only being distinguished and royal (which I am certainly not) but being of good moral character (which I try hard to be). It is also my family name, that of my Parents, Noah and Blossom Noble. These two people have given me so much strength and love since the moment I met them. I really dont know what would have happened if I did not have them, my siblings, my children and grandchildren loving and supporting me. 
  Everyone should have a good, stable support system in their life and before I came to Second Life, I did not have that kind of support system. I have parents, family... but I do not talk with them. They chose themselves and superficial things and not the core meaning that is family. I never felt welcome or a part of a family unit until recently. My family in real life (Besides my Grandma, Sammi and Ken of course) put a price on their love, I had to be what they wanted in order to be worthy of their love. It always made me feel like a failure as a person, that I was never enough for them so how could I be enough for anyone else in my life. These amazing people have shown me that love is something you give freely, it wraps you like a blanket and helps keep you safe and offer a buffer to the hate and ugliness that can exist in the real world. 
 I really can not ever tell my amazing Noble family how much I have appreciated being a part of your family and part of your lives. You have given me a truly precious gift, one I cherish above anything else. Without you all, I dont think I would feel 1/4 as happy as I do. I only hope to repay you all someday for your kindness, not sure how I will but I will certainly try. I love you all more than I could express on this blog. You are amazing people and I feel truly blessed to know each and every one of you.
 If you would like to visit [Noble], here is a link.

Berry's SL Firsts Meme

Meme instructions: Copy and paste the following 10 questions and answers into your post. Delete my answers and input your own. Don’t forget to link your post in this meme’s comments so everyone can read yours!
  1. First SL Friend: My first friend was SweetnSexyTastin Dumpling, she actually came to SL with me from another game and we are still friends to this day. She actually met her current husband on SL and moved to Phoenix to be with him, and hense closer to me :)
  2. First SL Kiss: My first and only SL Kissing partner was Walter Kovacs who is my SL husband and my RL Boyfriend of more than 5 years now.
  3. First SLex time/place/partner: Walter Kovacs, Some rent by the hour room thing above a shemale strip club, can't for the life of me even remember the name but he had a friend who worked there so we went there. 
  4. First SL Partner/Girlfriend/Boyfriend/Wife/Husband: Walter Kovacs yet again, gee I am pretty boring I know.
  5. First SL Job: I was a dancer at some very noob 2005 looking club. Dont remember the name though, I am old, I forget stuff. 
  6. First SL Creation: Well I took pictures starting in the end of 2008 but the first thing I "made" was in 2010 I made a bed for one of my kids that I had at the time.
  7. First Encounter with a Linden: I had a weird rezzing issue where a kittycat rezzed 4k meters BELOW the ground and Joshua Linden came to try to help me retrieve him but even him with his amazing linden magic could not find the cat and he ended up having to be deleted from my sim's server space.
  8. First Encounter with a SLebrity: The first SL Famous gal I met was Aeris Pinazzo, well she was famous to me as I loved her store Myth and had entered and won a photo contest she was having and so I got to talk to her. She had an amazing personality and we became friendish she is someone to this day I admire and am really glad I had the chance to get to know.
  9. First SL Sim you fell in love with: The Black and White Taj Mahal I loved going there and taking tons of photographs. You could tell the skill and absolute love that went into that build, all with prim and all super detailed. Walter and I used to explore there a lot and always found new and exciting things there.
  10. First SL Blog Post: Well I would love to share that but the blog for Focus Fashion Agency is apparently no longer published so I can't. I used to blog skins for them as I am a huge skin whore. But other than that and an occasional guest spot on others blogs, this has been my blog the longest so you can scroll back to the first one here I guess :)

Today's "Word Of The Day": OPTIMISTIC


op·ti·mis·tic - [op-tuh-mis-tik]


1.disposed to take a favorable view of events or conditions and to expect the most favorable outcome.
2.reflecting a favorable view of events and conditions and the expectation of a positive outcome; demonstrating optimism: an optimistic plan.
 Hello Stranger!
  Sorry I havent written in a bit, I have been BUILDING! It feels great to be making things again and learning something new. My daughter, Carter (In her attempt to nudge me back to work I think)  got this amazing little in-world gadget for me called a mesh studio. It works similar to a prim oven... you build what you want out of prims, add their script and voila! you are handed a mesh file outside of sl to import into blender or whatever you choose to work with. Its been great fun learning and I have found I can make a lot of things this way. It has done a lot for my overall mood and general happiness level. 
   I never thought of myself much of an optimist, I am by nature a realist... meaning I see things in the absolute logical way which isnt always healthy, dreaming is a good thing too. I am really trying to break out of that train of thought and trying to see things in a more positive light. I must admit for all the good I feel creating the little things I have, I am overwhelmingly paranoid that something is going to happen again and for me to stay on my guard. But, I am a creative person and trying to hold back that part of myself is like asking a bird not to fly... just not going to happen.
   So anyway I hope you all have an amazing week, I am going to do my best to do so. 

SL Disneybound Blogger Challenge – Week 4 – Snow White

Some Day My Prince Will Come 
From Snow White And The Seven Dwarfs
Some day my prince will come
Some day we'll meet again
And away to his castle we'll go
To be happy forever I know

Some day when spring is here
We'll find our love anew
And the birds will sing
And wedding bells will ring
Some day when my dreams come true

What I'm Wearing
Skin: Glam Affair - Ginny - America - 03 Red
Hair: [e] Sound - Black 04
Hairbow: Remarkable Oblivion - Briar Bow Headband - Red - Plain
Eyelashes: MG - Eyelashes - Groomed
Shirt: /artilleri/ carlita top *blue*
Vest: DCNY Sky Open Vest 
Skirt: Happy Undead - Mini Skirt [vinyl yellow]
Tights: Maitreya Tights (Pinched) * Royal
Shoes: MDL- Bailarina - Gatito Rojo-
Jewelry: *MM* Apple Charm Jewelry Set
Nails: Synthetique Red Colour Tactics Series

SL Disneybound Blogger Challenge – Week 3 – Gaston

I Love Myself

I don't need no compliments.
Although I do accept them.
Know this.
I love myself.

I'm not conceited.
Really far from it.
I just love myself.

If you don't.
Then expect nobody else will.
I wake up to loving myself.
I walk through life loving myself.
I look in the mirror.
And adore myself.

I'm not boasting.
Or even bragging.
That would be too much.
But I know this.
I love myself.

As a mother's loves a new born.
I love this one.
Which is myself.

Like the rising of the morning sun.
There's always a smile upon my face.
Cause, I love myself.

Enjoy you.
And you'll be enjoyed.

What I am wearing:

Skin: Glam Affair - Ginny - America - 03
Hair: [e] Charmed - Black 04
Eyelashes: MG - Eyelashes - Groomed - Medium - BLACK
Nail: [ Love Soul ] Posing nail*Oval-Pearl*
Scarf: *BOOM*  Tinsley Cashmere Bow Scarf Goldenrod
Shirt: *BOOM* Baggy Backless Tee (cherry)
Leggings: DeeTaleZ tights cotton pantyhose black
Boots: worn combats -rigged black by Jaimy Hancroft (On Marketplace)

Today's "Word Of The Day" : BLESSING


bless·ing - [bles-ing]


1.the act or words of a person who blesses.
2.a special favor, mercy, or benefit: the blessings of liberty.
3.a favor or gift bestowed by God, thereby bringing happiness.
4.the invoking of God's favor upon a person: The son was denied his father's blessing.
 Hope everyone's week has started off on a good foot. I am recovering from my Easter holiday and making adorable bunny face pot pies for my family. They were not only adorable and tasty, but made my daughter smile which kind of takes the ache of not having family at the holidays go away a little. I hope all who celebrated Easter and Passover this past weekend enjoyed and cherished this time with their family, remember nothing is forever so cherish the small things like holidays because they may not always be as they are now. 
  I also spent part of my day with my Second Life Family. Though my parents celebrate Passover they made an Easter celebration that really brought back memories of my childhood, before my life got so complicated, where the most important part was how much candy was in my basket. I truly felt so blessed and humbled to have such exceptional people in my life. Even though the past few months have had many, many, low points; standing with people who loved me with no agenda of their own... I felt really lucky. Life has a way of righting itself even when you can't see the light at the end of the tunnel.  
  I really can never express to them how much I love and cherish having them in my life. They truly have saved me, even if they do not realize it. If it wasn't for them, Sammi and Ken I would have succumbed to my depression long ago and I don't think I would be here writing this to you right now. I know finding genuine and good people are rare, even more rare in Second Life... it is part why I really honor the friendship and family you have bestowed on me. I only hope someday to be able to convey to you how much you all mean to me.