Always a Bridesmaid

Well Happy (almost) New Year!
  I have sadly been feeling a bit in the dumps lately. I shouldn't but then like we don't have an off button for feeling, though I truly wish I did. For Christmas this year I watched 4 friends get engaged both in real life and second life... and lately my SL Daughter/RL Friend get married, and my Godsparkle get engaged. I am so very happy for all of these people because Love is beautiful and rare and when it happens you need to hold it tight. That said it also makes my heart a little sad and here we are, me wishing it wasn't.
  I have been with my boyfriend for going on 5 years and we have lived together almost 4 and a half of those. For those who dont know me, we met in SL almost 5 years ago and well, it was a surprising love but it is very much love all the same. He has been an amazing partner to me in real life, he has cared for me with my Meniere's Disease and been a exceptional father to my daughter. I have been married before and so I know the alternate version of this story.... him I am truly grateful to have in my life.
  The only thing is I sincerely have never seen myself old and still with the person I was in a relationship with... not even my ex-husband. We were married nearly a decade and I always knew it was not going to last, I don't regret it though I learned a lot about myself from him and what I want in a partner. But boyface, I see myself old and still with him, like those cute little old people who still at 80 hold hands when they walk down the street. I have never felt it was ok to just be me with someone till I met him, so I just want that evidence he feels that for me too.
  But for his own reasons, and much to my hearts ache he doesn't want to get married. Logically I know its for his reasons, it has little to do with me personally. But my heart feels like it is that I am not enough for him as a person, that maybe there is someone out there he would much rather give that commitment to, he just hasn't met her yet. Now before you yell at me, don't. I know this isn't the reason just makes me sad and something I will just have to get over in time. And before you tell me we dont HAVE TO get married... this I know as well. But I am not exactly well and though I am not 80 I certainly am not 20, I have a child who loves him and I would like him to legally be her parent. These things can not happen unless we are married, the ways to achieve this otherwise are lengthy and complicated and just too expensive. And frankly, I love the man more than I have loved anyone outside of my grandma and children, and I just would like to be able to say "This is my husband" and mean it.
  I really hope the new year allows me to make peace with this and just enjoy things as they are. I am lucky to have found someone who loves me, not everyone has this in their life and I really should just be grateful for that. I think once I come to terms with it and put that away I will be able to enjoy things a little more. So I guess my resolution is to enjoy being in the moment more, if that makes any sense. Thanks for letting me rant here to you, you always are such a good listener.

Have a great New Year and be safe.

Putting Shoppers in the Spirit... of "Horny"ness

Well hello stranger, long time no blog!

  I am sorry I have been an absolute horrid friend, I have been busy busy building and not taking awesome time to make pictures or write you my very public letters. I hope your holidays have been kind so far, we are almost to the half way point so hold on tight! I was personally a bit disappointed the Zombie Apocalypse didnt come today, I had my lawn mower all gassed up and ready to go... oh well now my other half can mow the lawn :)

  I dont know if you have been paying attention but there are some truly wonderful holiday offerings out and about on the grid lately! First is this amazing and very unique manly christmas tree found at a simply amazing event called "The Men's Department" Cheeky Pea makes this amazing antler tree, the candles that are the "ornaments" are color change, its really quite stunning.  Then lets see, my simply stunning rack (and I mean the antlers, head out of the gutter please) is part of the 12 days of Christmas from Aux which my god they make such coolness, the skin is also Aux for the 12 days and you can go down and grab them up until Christmas (or the day after maybe, crossing fingers). My super cute outfit is part of a Christmas gift from The Secret Store which I love her stuff, its just a little funky without just being weird. And I needed shoes so this month's lap of the Collabor88 had these cute combat boots from Monso and I had my Maxi Gossamer cats eye glasses so I shoved those on. I think I look festive, which is a stretch for me because to be honest I am just not feeling terribly merry and bright these days.

  So anyway, break out the nog, make sure all your gifts are wrapped and I will meet you at my cat adorned Christmas tree (Its frightening, really... they claimed my tree). I will be the gal poking my neighbor with her cute antlers and knocking back drinks. I truly hope that you and yours enjoy a joyous season, whether you are recovering from a beautiful Hanukkah or getting ready for Christmas or Kwanza. The last few days of 2012 are ticking by all too fast and I for one am pretty excited about what 2013 has in store for me and my loved ones.

Happy Holidays !

25 Days of Song - Day 6 (A Song That Reminds Me of my Best Friend)

Look at me I'm Sandra Dee
Lousy with virginity
Won't go to bed till I'm legally wed
I can't I'm Sandra Dee

Watch it! Hey, I'm Doris Day
I was not brought up that way
Won't come across even Rock Hudson lost
(All): His heart to Doris Day

I don't drink (No! ) or swear (Oh! )
I don't rat my hair (Ew! )
I get I'll from one cigarette
(Cough, cough, cough)
Keep your filthy paws off my silky drawers
Would you pull that crap with Annette?

As for you Troy Donahue
I know what you wanna do
You've got your crust I'm no object of lust
(All): I'm just plain Sandra Dee

Elvis, Elvis, let me be
Keep that pelvis far from me
Just keep your cool now you're starting to drool

Hey, Fongul, I'm Sandra Dee


25 Days of Song - Day 5 (A Song That is Often Stuck in my Head )

This is the song that never ends.
It goes on and on my friends.
Someone started singing it not knowing what it was,
and they'll continue singing it forever just because,
(then repeat back at top) 

... and now its stuck in your head, huh?

25 Days of Song - Day 4 (A Song That Calms Me)

I love piano music, I listen to it every night and when I am feeling stressed out. George Winston is hands down my favorite pianist he has many CDs out and his music conveys real emotion. I am glad I could share this song with you, I played it on a walkman when I was pregnant with my daughter so she could love good music from the beginning.

25 Days of Song - Day 3 (A Song That Reminds me of my Parents)

"Hey, ain't life wonderful? Wonderful, wonderful, wonderful... Isn't everything wonderful now?"

I close my eyes when I get too sad
I think thoughts that I know are bad
Close my eyes and I count to ten
Hope it's over when I open them

I want the things that I had before
Like a Star Wars poster on my bedroom door
I wish I could count to ten
Make everything be wonderful again

I hope my Mom
And I hope my Dad
Would figure out why they get so mad
I hear them scream
I hear them fight
They say bad words that make me wanna cry

I close my eyes when I go to bed
And I dream of angels that make me smile
I feel better when I hear them say
"Everything will be wonderful someday"

Promises mean everything
When you're little and the world's so big
I just don't understand how
You can smile with all those tears in your eyes
And tell me everything is wonderful now

Please don't tell me everything is wonderful now

I go to school and I run and play
I tell the kids that it's all ok
I laugh a lot so my friends won't know
When the bell rings I just don't wanna go
[ Lyrics from: ]
Go to my room and I close my eyes
I make believe that I have a new life
I don't believe you when you say
Everything will be wonderful some day

Promises mean everything
When you're little and the world's so big
I just don't understand how
You can smile with all those tears in your eyes
And tell me everything is wonderful now

No, no
I don't want to hear you tell me everything is wonderful now
No, no
I don't want to hear you tell me everything is wonderful now

I don't want to hear you say
That I will understand some day
No, no, no, no
I don't want to hear you say
That you both have grown in a different way
No, no, no, no
I don't want to meet your friends
And I don't want to start over again
I just want my life to be the same
Just like it used to be
Some days I hate everything
I hate everything
Everyone and everything

Please don't tell me everything is wonderful now...
Please don't tell me everything is wonderful now...
Please don't tell me everything is wonderful now...
I don't want to hear you tell me everything is wonderful now...
Please don't tell me everything is wonderful now...

Everything is wonderful now...
Everything is wonderful now...
Everything is wonderful now...

25 Songs of Christmas - Day2 (A Song That Reminds me of my Last Ex)

Look inside,
Look inside your tiny mind
Now look a bit harder
Cause we're so uninspired,
so sick and tired of all the
hatred you harbor

So you say
It's not okay to be gay
Well I think you're just evil
You're just some racist who
can't tie my laces
Your point of view is medieval

F*ck you (F*ck you)
F*ck you very, very much
Cause we hate what you do
And we hate your whole crew
So please don't stay in touch

F*ck you (F*ck You)
F*ck you very, very much
Cause your words don't translate
And it's getting quite late
So please don't stay in touch

Do you get,
Do you get a little kick out of
being slow minded?
You want to be like your father
It's approval your after
Well that's not how you find it

Do you,
Do you really enjoy living a
life that's so hateful?
Cause there's a hole where
your soul should be
Your losing control of it and
it's really distasteful

F*ck you (F*ck You)
F*ck you very, very much
Cause we hate what you do
And we hate your whole crew
So please don't stay in touch

F*ck you (F*ck You)
F*ck you very, very much
Cause your words don't
translate and it's getting
quite late
So please don't stay in touch

F*ck you, F*ck you, F*ck you,
F*ck you, F*ck you, F*ck you,
F*ck yooooou

You say
You think we need to go to war
well you're already in one
Cause it's people like you
who need to get slew
No one wants your opinion

F*ck you (F*ck You)
F*ck you very, very much
Cause we hate what you do
And we hate your whole crew
So please don't stay in touch

F*ck you (F*ck You)
F*ck you very, very much
Cause your words don't
translate and it's getting
quite late
So please don't stay in touch

F*ck you, F*ck you
F*ck you, F*ck you
F*ck you, F*ck you

25 Songs of Christmas - Day 1 (A Song from my Childhood)

The other night dear
As I lay sleeping
I dreamed I held you in my arms
When I awoke, dear
I was mistaken
So I hung my head and I cried.

You are my sunshine
My only sunshine
You make me happy
When skies are gray
You'll never know dear
How much I love you
Please don't take my sunshine away


So let the sun shine in
Face it with a grin
Smilers never loose
And Frowners never win
So let the sun shine in
Face it with a grin
Open up your heart and let the sun shine in

My mommy told me something
That little girls should know
It's all about the devil
And I've learned to hate him so
I know he'll be unhappy
?Cause I'll never wear a frown
Maybe if we keep on smiling
He'll get tired of hangin' round

(Repeat Chorus x2)

Interesting Day is Interesting

  Today started off kinda bad, then kinda good.... but ended AMAZING.

  So someone done switched the world's AC on over the Phoenix area and it has been damn cold lately (well, for us anyway). So I didn't sleep terribly well and so when I had to drag myself up to get my daughter off to school, well... I looked like death. It wasn't pretty and hense, today was a take your kid to school in pajamas day.

  I get her dropped off and stop on the way home at the convenience store on the corner here by my house and walk in, get the largest cup they sold coffee in and fill that puppy up. Cream? Don't mind if I do, oh yes and 3 sugars, thank you very much. So I go pay for my coffee, well attempt to anyway because when I open my wallet, my card is gone. Not amused. So I look at the lady and ask if I can run to my car to see if I have $1.74 in change. I go look in the little thing I keep change in, $0.60. I hang my head and walk back into the store and begin to explain to the lady I am sorry she can dump the coffee, I don't have enough for the coffee. I, am absolutely mortified.

  Out of the corner of my eye a $20.00 bill floats by and a male voice behind me says "It's ok I will buy this cup for her". Now mind you, I look like I am about to cry, I am exhausted oh and did I mention I am in slippers, penguin pajama pants, a t shirt and a sweater with my hair in a cute bun? Yeah I'm hot right? So I turn around and just stare and kind of mumble that it's OK he doesn't have to, then rests his hand on my back and says "God bless you miss" and just walks out the door. It was hands down the best cup of coffee I ever had, and was so nice to know that there are still good people in this world.

  So you would think thats it right? You are like "Wow, that Brie is easy to please!" Umm, no. So about 6 months ago, my "husband" (and I use this term loosely as we were only cohabitating for 10 and a half months and NEVER once slept together) finally after almost 4 years of me whining, filed for divorce. So I am like, "Let me hit this ass up and see if this is done yet because I haven't received anything in the mail". I text him and he tries to convince me it was final last week and I should hear something any day, blah.. blah.. blah. I don't believe him, I mean there's a reason we aren't married, right?

  So I call up the old Google and start looking, calling, pestering... finally get the self-help legal aid center at the courthouse our divorce was filed at and this super sweet older sounding lady who had an adorable accent and kinda broken English. I begin my speech with "My unfortunate husband filed for divorce (and here the lady starts cracking up) about 6 months ago, I was wondering if you could direct me who to call to find out if it is final or not." I proceed with "You see, I moved to Phoenix 4 years ago and have well on moved on with my life. I would really like to continue it without being attached to him in any way."

  So she asks if I know the case number, which I dont. But then she asks my name and looks it up that way and I could almost hear her smile when she says "Well, Ms. Pitta, your divorce was final today as a matter of fact." I then kinda yelled a little (sorry lady send me the bill for your new hearing aid) and told her I loved her dearly and she is still laughing at this point. She chokes out the case number and tells me I will have a letter from the court soon, congratulates me and tells me to have a great day.

  Oh, my goodness I am on a cloud, I am so happy to have that part of my life over with. I really am glad things seem to be ending in 2012 better than they started that's for sure. Now just to get through the dreaded holidays and onto a new year and new beginnings.

  I hope your Tuesday was just as eventful.


Pose: Cultureshock 2 by Hopskotch
My Celebratory Outfit:
Skin: Glam Affair - Roza - Brr & Etci 03
Hair: /Wasabi Pills/ Christy Mesh Hair - Reds Pack
Eyelashes: Miamai_Catwalk Lashes_Evergreen 03 Erotica
Dress: (Milk Motion) lace dress - green
Shoes: N-core ESSENCE "Noir Intense"
Ring: EarthStones Bridal - Twist of Fate Wedding Rings
Bracelet: EarthStones Diamond Tennis Bracelet - Platinum
Nails: Synthetique Ultimate French Series -01-

Trying to Love the Holidays

Hey there!

  Well, the week is almost over and I am being forced to face something I am really never been a huge fan of, "The Holidays". I know, you are grasping your proverbial pearls and gasping at me but hear me out OK? I have a really good reason for absolutely dreading this time of the year and it has absolutely nothing to do with consumerism or any of that nonsense, hell I'm human, give me stuff I smile.

  I have parents, they are still alive and kicking far as I know, but I haven't talked to them in a really long time and that is really a good thing. My parents split up when I was just over a year old, my dad was cheating on my mom (with my now stepmother) and so she took me and left. I'm not sure what that did to her, I've been divorced twice and well I didn't take the road she did. My mom got hard into drugs and drinking after that and it didn't make her a very nice person. She remarried to a real pervert, I wont sicken you with those details but lets just say the 2 of them really did a number on my psyche.

  When I was 9, my mom dropped me of about a mile from my dad's place and told me to go find him, I only saw her once since then and I am now 37. My dad and his new wife-former-mistress had a new son by then and well I just didn't fit into their shiny new family. I spent a huge amount of time with my grandma when she wasn't at work painting houses and I ran away a lot because well, would you want to be somewhere that you knew you weren't wanted? I didn't think so.

  By the time I was 11 the state took over and I was put in "The System"... yes that creepy foster care system which wasn't all that bad for me. I totally respect I was one of the lucky ones and was put somewhere with people who really cared and wanted what was best for me. I lived that way for about 4 years then I had to go back to my dad and his wife. Things hadnt changed much and yeah life for me kinda got interesting after that. I experimented with drugs and ran away a lot but hey I can look back now and say I did a lot of growing up in that time.

  I will say that I never had really amazing Christmases growing up, everyone kind of went through the motions because it was what was expected. We were nice to each other for like 3 days and then it was back to the norm. So by the time I got married and had my own family, Christmas was kind of something I really began to dread. I will say this, I have always made a huge effort for my children because I want them to know the joy of it that other kids just have. But in my heart it is something I wish I could just sleep through.

  Last year my daughter learned the ugly truth about Santa, as we all do at some point and so Christmas is again changing in our lives. I am really trying this year to be more excited about it, but it is hard with my grandmother gone. We no longer have family, she was all we had anymore for the most part. I feel like I failed her because I just couldn't suck it up and deal with my parents for her sake. Someday I hope she understands more there is just no place in our life for people who are so broken like they are.

  I have no idea why I am telling you all this other than I am sure I am not the only one who feels this way. Maybe some of you have ideas on how I can just try to feel more in the spirit, or hell maybe you are without family and want to adopt us LOL. Either way I am feeling better just writing it out even if no one ever reads this, its like setting it free. Ive done that a lot this year perhaps this is the last bit I need to let go of and truly be OK with life. Either way I hope you are looking forward to the season of together, of cookies and of love... it is truly what makes this time of year magical.


What my Sammi Look-a-Like Avi is wearing:
Pose is: Heirloom - Friends Forever Bear 3
Cute Byte's Toddleedoo Avatar (Kid Size)
Curio Elf in Sundust Pure
[E] Here hair in Brown 6
Outfit is from Pixel Panda and its called "I didnt do it" (go here its super cute stuff)

I Love Being an American

Well what a full day today!

  I live in Phoenix, Arizona and so I have the honor and privilege of being able to vote in elections. It is something I have taken great pride in since I first got to vote for President Clinton when I turned 18 It was something I was still so grateful for the right to do to this very day. I always had such regard for the progress because I knew what people did for me to have that right but also that there are places that people have no say in how their home exists. I always found that to be so disappointing because I believe as people we have the right to have a say and shape the world around us. But progress takes time, I hope I live to see every corner of the world with that right.

  I also had the joy of taking my soon-to-be husband to vote for the first time. When I moved here from San Francisco 4 years ago, just before the last Presidential election, he had no desire to vote. He took the "my vote doesnt count" stance. I explained that we all have a voice and you never know if your 1 vote is the difference between something amazing changing or something terrible happening. He was so proud when he came out with his little I VOTED sticker, it was kind of adorable.

  In the end I sat here terrified as the polls came in and for a while it looked like my world as I knew it would change dramatically. It was a frightening prospect but in the end, we get 4 more years with President Obama and I have a sincere feeling and a deep hope that things in 4 years will be significantly better than they are today.

  Whether you voted for him or not I hope that you do all you can to shape the world around you. The decision is made, this is how it is but you and you alone can choose what to do with that. You can sulk and be angry that Govenor Romney is not in the white house... or you can get out there and try to do whatever you can to help things get better. Truly it is what makes us an amazing country and we should be an example to the rest of the world. We are a united country who does what they can for their fellow man (or woman). As I go get ready to crawl into bed, I am proud another state is allowing same-sex marriage, that there is a openly gay person in the senate and yes, that President Obama has 4 more years as leader of this amazing country.

Sleep tight, don't let the bedbugs bite :)

The Greatest Gift

Well happy Monday to you!

  Today's lesson is one in forgiveness. Hey, we are all human (yes, even you over there) and we all make mistakes. I know, some are bigger than others and it just seems like you will never get to a place you can even look at that person again but hey, you so can. It takes a leap of faith which is hard for us people types but it is totally doable.

  I have had a downright retched year, I lost 2 really important people in my family's life and when that happened everyone but my fiance and my child turned their back on me. I was left with no support which even now when I think about it makes me really sad. I dont expect much from those around me so when I was left to grieve with little support it was really hard and left me feeling a little bitter. And then when I thought things could not even get worse, I had to deal with the SL Dramas and the Trolls there who basically bullied me out of the grid for a while.

  But in that time I did some healing, a lot of crying and most importantly I forgave them. Because they are human and some people were misled, others are just sheep... blindly following the popular crowd. Mainly people act they way they do usually out of some sort of fear, and that is something we have all felt at some time.

  I was left with 2 choices, I could A) Stoop to their level and be just as hateful and angry as I could muster or B) Forgive them and just move on with my life and live it the best way I possibly could. I chose B, I chose to let it go, life is just too short to hang on to things like this. If you carry all that hurt and anger around it becomes a huge weight on you. Have you ever seen a depressed person standing straight and tall? No, and you know why? Because all that sadness and anger and hurt, it is weighing them down. I chose to leave it on the side of the road of life and keep going.

  When you take that road you will find you are more content with your life and those who have hurt you in the past do not hold that power over you any longer. I am more content with my real life and second life since I took this path of forgiveness. Its not perfect but in the end, I can only control myself and my own actions. And when worst comes to worst you remember Karma, it works for the good as well as the bad. I put the positive out there and wait for good things to come my way.

Have a great night kids!

My super cute outfit:

Pose is Je t'aime 5m by Adorkable Poses (Cause she rocks and has good turkey recipes)
Skin: Essences - Heidy Base Skin
Hair: /Wasabi Pills/ Amelie Mesh Hair - Rouge
Dress: (CM) Woolsworth Dress MESH (argyle/black)
Tights: DeeTaleZ tights cotton pantyhose black
Shoes: lassitude & ennui Selene boots black
Nails: Synthetique Ultimate French Series -01-
Tattoo: - DAMNED - Neck Tattoo "I Love you"

I Can't Wait 'till Wednesday...

Hey there me again,
  I'm really liking this letter writing format for my blog. I hope you are enjoying it, if not there are about a billion others out there... sure you will find one that suits you. It is the internet they have billions of things to suit every walk of life it seems. My husband tells me if you think it up chances are there is a website out there and it's probably porn. He is a special snowflake and he tends to think in the gutter a lot.
  So today's rant is in lieu of this weeks United State Elections. I seriously voted almost a month ago and I can not wait for it to be over. I would like to think I am a logical, intellegent woman but some of the "debating" I get into with others, I am wondering where they get their information from. It is downright sad and scary. I am all for debating though, I think it is a fabulous way to learn something and hey maybe you get a new point of view on a subject and that is always I think very enlightening. Plus it is a great way to get to know how someone ticks, their life has given them their most fundamental of beliefs so you really can learn a lot about someone just from the give and take of debating any given topic.
  With the Presidential nonsense going on it has brought a lot of hot button topics out onto the surface. I have engaged in many many exchanges with people with some very different views from mine. I have been yelled at, agreed with and been told I am downright wrong. I find it interesting when I am told the latter because frankly, having a opinion about something is rarely "wrong". I mean unless you think drowning kittens is OK, then I'm sorry, you are so so wrong. And you may need therapy, just saying.
  But in the end, arguing over opinions is about as ridiculous as my beautiful portrait up there. It is a total "moot" point, it has no value so you should just learn to respect that the other person is entitled to theirs and either debate it out or hush. Because you could get in a seriously heated argument with a complete stranger over anything and come out of it learning something new. BUT, if you are too busy being right you may miss something incredibly valuable you never knew, and then you are truly the one who misses out.
  And so my fellow Americans, embrace our freedom of free speech and choice and OPINION. In many countries you could be jailed or executed for any of these things. We are sincerely blessed and special to be free and able to have these rights, cherish them and give your neighbors the same respect because it is just the right thing to do. Whether you vote or not that is up to you but be glad you live here because so many people brave many dangers just for the chance to walk on this soil. And if all else fails, don a tutu, helmet and sparkley wand and run naked (or almost naked) through your neighborhood. In other words, dont take stuff so serious :)


Case you care what im wearing:

Pose: Adorkable Poses - Falling #5
Skin:Essences - Heidy Base Skin (TDR this week)
Hair: !lamb. Wild at Heart (Mesh) - Milkshake
Tattoo: . Sweet Sin . Skull Flower
Helmet: Asphyxia Black Bunny War Helmet (found on MP)
Tutu: **DECO - MESH Tutu (coconut)**
Shoes: SLink Ashia Ballet Pointe Onyx

Gossip - It's Not Playing "Telephone"

Gossip -n. [gos-uh p]
1. Idle talk or rumor, especially about the personal or private affairs of others.
2. Light, familiar talk or writing.
3. Also, gos-sip-per or gos-sip-er, a person given to tattling or idle talk.
4. Also called a GOSSIPMONGER, a person who habitually talks about others, especially maliciously.

  Enough of the english lesson for today, this is something I find so irritating I had to make a little post of it. I have seen thousands of times when people are gossiping (and yes, it is gossiping people) and things get misdirected in the translation. Its like when you were a kid, did you ever play Telephone? Well for those who didnt it is usually a group of kids, kid 1 starts by whispering to kid 2 and so on... by the time it gets to the end the last person says whatever they heard aloud. Guess what people, its rarely ever what person 1 said.

  It is just like that with a gossip. People arent perfect and they are guilty of exaggerating, omitting and outright lying at times. In the end, having the persons "best interest" at heart isnt always the case and sometimes, mistakes get made. With social media out there now this gets even more mucky. You see vagueness in facebook and plurk posts (twitter too!) and people end up assuming, misunderstandings are made and then that best interest... well its out the window with maybe your friendship.

  In the end you should always wonder if you are doing the right thing. If you have a problem with Suzie, tell her... not Rebecca and Mary cause chances are they may tell someone and then they do and so on. And by the time Suzie hears she may think you hate her guts when you maybe just didnt like her telling you your ass looked fat in those jeans. Its just something I notice, I have seen it a lot when I was on hiadus and have seen it so much with real life friends and SL friends alike.

  I think the moral of this story is to always be upfront and honest with those around you. They may not always like what you say but they can trust your word either way, because they know you arent a gossip or someone who talks behind others backs. I personally live by this rule, it has hurt people I love in the past but those who know me know I am a very straight forward and honest individual. It is something I truly take pride in and I hope that it is a something you can adapt if you are leary of confrontation.


My Name is Brie, I am a Bacon Addict.

  I can remember the first time I had a piece of really good bacon. I was about 7, I was staying with my grandma for the weekend as I did most weekends. But this weekend she thought I was finally grown up enough to have a "big person's" breakfast. So she had me lay under a blanket on the couch and watch cartoons while she got down to work.
  The sounds of Scooby and Shaggy were suddenly overpowered by the sizzling and amazing smell coming from the kitchen. My grandma brought out her ridiculously old cast iron skillet and began frying up bacon. I am sure I had some before then, but somehow that day it smelled so much better. She made us a few pieces each and fried up 2 eggs (1 for me, 1 for her) and made us each some toast. She topped it off with a cup of "coffee", which was basically coffee flavored warm milk but I thought it was the real thing. She then put it all on a little tray and brought it to me on the couch. And there we sat, with our big persons breakfast, watching Scooby Doo. It was a perfect way to start a day.
  Many, many years later, she was much older and I was well, older too. I was a mother and I lived with her now. She wasnt as healthy as she used to be and I was there to take care of her. My daughter was 4 and I was just getting out of the shower when down the hall I hear my grandmother telling my daughter... "Now Sammi, I think you are a big girl now, how about Nano makes you a big person's breakfast".
  I smile now when I think about it, she passed away this past March, she was hands down the best friend I ever had in my life. She taught me to live simply, to love deeply and to cherish each moment you have. She also taught me to love bacon, which I torment all my friends and pseudo-family with to this day. My daughter loves it too, and her "big person" breakfasts that we have, sitting on the couch just like she did with me. Except now instead of Scooby doo, we are watching Ruby Gloom or Monster High or whatever is cool to Sammi that week.
  So hi, my name is Brie.... I am a bacon addict :)

What I am wearing from head, to toe:

Hair: [e] Locked - Red 08
Skin: Glam Affair - Ginny - Europa - 02 Red HB
Bathing Suit: Pig - Bacon Wrap
Feet: Slink Womens Natural Barefeet (Mesh Rigged)
Glasses: Miamai_Rita Ivory Sunglasses
Necklace: BaCoN ~ Plate O' Happy Necklace
Nails: Synthetique Ultimate French Series -01-

This is What Happy Looks Like

  For the first time in a long while I can honestly say I am truly happy. Things seem to be getting more positive and though life is still not where I want it to be, I can see it is on its way to getting there. Many dont know but I am actually married, and not to my SL partner. I havent been with him for over 4 years but he kind of has been dragging his feet giving me a divorce. Well, that is final next month (throws confetti and does the happy dance). So now my SL partner who is my RL boyfriend can start sorting out how our life is going to play out together. This comes as a relief to not only me, but my daughter... we are both really glad to put that part of our life behind us and focus on what is to come.
  My SL has been on a upswing as well. I have been trying to come out of hiding and be with the people around me more. It is difficult, I got used to being alone for so long the thought of having friends and being social is a bit frightening. But I have reconnected with many people who I lost while my life was falling apart. We have had long talks, forgiveness flowed... it was amazing. And it has done wonders for my overall happiness and how content I am when I log on.
  I have been adopted too! A very old, very amazing friend decided that she needed to be my family. After losing so much of that this year, my God it makes me feel like I am on cloud 9!! Its like that little piece of your heart you didnt know was missing? Yep thats my PandaMomma, Minx. And with her came a slew of new and old friends now family. My heart, I swear it is so full it is like it is going to burst.
  And so with all this amazingness in my life I have a renewed desire to build and make things for people. I really thing what I am putting out there now shows how much I want to share how this feels with people around me. I really want to share how great it is to just BE HAPPY. I think in a time where things are just a little harder for all of us, we forget how the little, the simple things can bring us such unparalleled joy. And how just having a few really quality people in your life can truly make all of the difference in your life.
  So anyway I just wanted to share that with everyone. Not for any particular reason but just that I really hope this feeling is infectious and perhaps reading this you are now smiling a little. If you are, I am glad... it looks good on you.


A Letter to You

Hi There,
  You may know me, you may not. You may know of me from people or rumors or some passing fancy but I thought I would take this opportunity to introduce myself. I am Brie, I am more than pixels in this computer, I am a person. I have feelings and dreams; I have a life outside of this computer and a family. I am a mother, a future wife, a friend and these are things I was so very willing to give up because of things that happened in this computer earlier this year.
  2012 has not been so kind to me in my real life; it started with the death of my Fiancé’s father. A man we took care of till the day he died. We found him in his bed; there was nothing we could do for him. It was an extremely traumatic experience and one I don’t think we still after many, many months have been able to process. We had barely began to really deal with that grief when not even 2 months later, my Grandmother passed on back in California. It was sudden, unexpected and very difficult for my daughter and I. My Grandmother was a very large part of my life, she raised me as a child and for all intent and purpose, was more my Mother than my own biological Mother. When she died, all the family I had outside my Sammi died with her and I was left virtually alone.
  You are probably wondering why I am telling you all of this. It is because after these very hard real life things happened, things in Second Life became very bad for me. I had to give up my store, which I had put my heart and soul into for well over a year and I had become the target of some very hateful and really unnecessary actions by others. People I had loved and trusted suddenly were just so very much not what I had known all the time I had been friends with them. I was left utterly alone in my computer.
  I never understood how someone you can’t see could have such an adverse effect on you till these few months this year. I always heard of people being bullied online and we all have seen the bandwagon drama Plurk can bring out but I never understood how absolutely crushing it could be to have people who don’t even know you, hate you so much. I learned the hard way, it wasn’t pretty but I did learn.
  Those people have moved on to other things and I am certain their effect on me they will never really know. In those few months I really was at the lowest I have felt since I buried my son. I really didn’t see much value in myself as a person; I thought I had no place on this earth. It took my beloved to remind me that I AM worth something to someone. And that at the end of the day all the hurt that is in this computer cannot compare one moment with the love I have outside of it.
  I am 37 years old and I allowed myself to succumb to the view someone projected on me because I forgot that I can just turn the computer off and walk away and all the good in my life is STILL THERE. I am still a great mom, a fairly awesome life partner and been told I am a wonderful friend. I would still give you my last $20 if you were hungry. So, in the end…. Those people didn’t win. I am still me. I am still happy. I am still loved.
  I didn’t come to this conclusion overnight, it took months of stepping back from the computer and really focusing on me and my family and doing what I needed to do for us to be ok.  I have come back because for every 1 hateful thing someone has said to me, 10 others have been amazing and wonderful. I have made some great friendships in this computer and I refuse to allow anyone to rob me of those friendships. I will not allow this computer or anyone in it get in the way of me being happy.
  So I end this little letter by thanking each and every one of you who has touched my life in this computer. Because good or bad, I came out of it a better person than I was before all of this year happened. And for those who feel despair at the hands of the invisible people on the other end of the internet, remember you are wonderful and you bless so many people by being here. Don’t let anyone rob you of your born right to be happy, and to surround yourself with love. I am sure many of you are probably rolling your eyes or thinking I’m full of it. But for this one person who reads this and feels better, I think it was worth being really honest with everyone.
Thank you for taking the time to read this.

52 Weeks of Color Challenge - Week 15, Seashell Peach

“We are taught you must blame your father, your sisters, your brothers, the school, the teachers - but never blame yourself. It's never your fault. But it's always your fault, because if you wanted to change you're the one who has got to change.”
 - Katherine Hepburn
 The Head-to-Toe of it:
Hair: /Wasabi Pills/ Sybille2 Mesh Hair - Gingerbread
Skin: [PF] Elly <Honey> - Pure/Angelic with Juicy Peach lip layer
Dress: ..: vive nine :. Drina Maxi - Peach
Shoes: *COCO*_Thong Sandal_Natural
Jewelry set: MIEL SHA SET

52 Weeks of Color Challenge - Week 14, Royal Purple

There are only two mistakes one can make along the road to truth; not going all the way, and not starting.
The Head-to-Toe of it:
Hair: [LeLutka]-BLYTHE hair - AlmostGoth
Skin: [Al Vulo! Skin ] - [ miha] - [ soleil milk ] MSW items
Lip Stain: cheLLe (lipstain) Moscato Kisses
Necklace: P.C; Amethyst Nest Necklace - Purple
Outfit: coldLogic jumper - cohen.plum
Shoes: N-core ESSENCE "Noir Intense" BOXED
Tattoo: Tattoo Lady Cat_GoK MP 

52 Weeks of Color Challenge - Week 13, Green Tea

"We Are Young"
(Fun feat. Janelle Monáe)

Give me a second I,
I need to get my story straight
My friends are in the bathroom getting higher than the Empire State
My lover she’s waiting for me just across the bar
My seat’s been taken by some sunglasses asking bout a scar, and
I know I gave it to you months ago
I know you’re trying to forget
But between the drinks and subtle things
The holes in my apologies, you know
I’m trying hard to take it back
So if by the time the bar closes
And you feel like falling down
I’ll carry you home

We are young
So let’s set the world on fire
We can burn brighter than the sun

We are young
So let’s set the world on fire
We can burn brighter than the sun

Now I know that I’m not
All that you got
I guess that I, I just thought
Maybe we could find new ways to fall apart
But our friends are back
So let’s raise a toast
‘Cause I found someone to carry me home

We are young
So let’s set the world on fire
We can burn brighter than the sun

We are young
So let’s set the world on fire
We can burn brighter than the sun

Carry me home tonight (Nananananana)
Just carry me home tonight (Nananananana)
Carry me home tonight (Nananananana)
Just carry me home tonight (Nananananana)

The moon is on my side
I have no reason to run
So will someone come and carry me home tonight
The angels never arrived
But I can hear the choir
So will someone come and carry me home

We are young
So let’s set the world on fire
We can burn brighter than the sun

We are young
So let’s set the world on fire
We can burn brighter than the sun

So if by the time the bar closes
And you feel like falling down
I’ll carry you home tonight
The Head-to-Toe of it
Eyes: Izzie's - Natural MESH Eyes lime
Skin: :: Exodi :: Sophie Lumiere - Lightly Smoked Shadow (DK) (with liquid eyeliner and stained lip layers)
Hair: /Wasabi Pills/ Lola Mesh Hair - Wild honey
Eyelashes: Miamai_Catwalk Lashes_Glitter 01
Ears: :Hebenon Vial: Pierced! Ears [Cutie Cartoons Pack] v3.0
Tattoo: .:SS:. Super Punk Tattoo
Nailpolish: :*BABY*: Sweetie Nails - CHERRY RED
Piercing: ::[annaA]:: Face Piercing " Ammit " _ dark
Necklace: undefined lilies - teensy clutter (freebie)
Top: tulip. Forever (Green Tea)
Jeans: *League* Ripped78s Twin Pack -Warm Blues
Shoes: eleanor rigby. combats in floral (pre-release vz/four corners)

52 Weeks of Color Challenge - Week 12, St. Patrick's Blue

Dear Lord,
Give me a few friends
who will love me for what I am,
and keep ever burning
before my vagrant steps
the kindly light of hope...
And though I come not within sight
of the castle of my dreams,
teach me to be thankful for life,
and for time's olden memories
that are good and sweet.
And may the evening's twilight
find me gentle still.
The Head-to-Toe of it:
Hair: [e] Charmed - Black 04
Eyes: Izzie's - Natural MESH Eyes lime
Eyelashes: Miamai_Catwalk Lashes_Glitter 01
Skin: :: Exodi :: Sophie Lumiere - Base (DK), Midtone freckle layer
Glasses: *Fishy Strawberry* College Glasses
Shirt: **GizzA** Chiffon Shirts Floral [Blue]
Skirt: {mon tissu} Oxford Pencil Skirt / Rigged Mesh ~ Navy
Shoes: N-core SOLEIL "Cream" BOXED
Bag: Tres Beau - Pret-a-Porter Tote
Ring: [ glow ] studio - Rose with Dew rings
Necklace: *League* Double Stranded Soft Pearl Necklace (spine)
Ears: :Hebenon Vial: Pierced! Ears [Cutie Cartoons Pack] v3.0 (Sky plugs)


52 Weeks of Color Challenge - Week 11. Aquamarine

It’s My Birthday


Another year – a terse reminder.


Another tear; I need a blinder –
Blur the brain of time
And unrelenting age.

O! to be a hero: honed, a sage of life;
Not an ever-ancient me,
Ticking over on a mug of pills,
Holidaying at the ward
(Drowning in a sea of stagnant piss) .

So rest assured, unless I’m cured of
Groaning limbs, a crumbling back and
Fading mind,
Whims of being young again are crass,
And show me blind.

So sod off! and leave me here alone
To face another birthday.


On March 11 I will be 37 years old and as I look back and reflect I come to realize though life is hard and full of pitfalls I am overall a happier person today than I was 10 or 20 years ago. I have amazing friends, a beautiful daughter and the love of a good man. I mean really, what more is there than those things?

The Head-to-Toe of it:
Hair: [e] Abbey - Red 05
Eyes: Izzie's - Natural MESH Eyes lime
Eyelashes: Miamai_Catwalk Lashes_Evergreen 03 Erotica
Skin::: Exodi :: Sophie Lumiere with heavy freckles
Dress: *League* Organic Silk Dress & Top -Turquoise
Shoes: N-core ESSENCE "Noir Intense" BOXED
Tattoo: V Tattoo Store - Sweet Hearts Tattoo
Nailpolish: :*BABY*: Sweetie Nails - AQUA
Ring: EarthStones Bridal - Twist of Fate Wedding Rings
Bracelet:  EarthStones Diamond Tennis Bracelet - Platinum
Earrings: alaskametro<3 "Drop" earrings - aquamarine, silver
Piercing: fACE plug PIERCINGS 2 *BND*

52 Weeks of Color Challenge - Week 10, Avocado


Through forty-seven years
I have remained green;
Though my skin
is tough and wrinkled
it wears a sheen and luster
that bears the hues of
resilience and change

My fleshy substance puzzles:
Am I savory or sweet?
Delicious or nondescript?
And with or without texture?

But the stone
at my center
is massive;
the heart of me
is huge
and impenetrable -
out of all proportion
to my fruit

And what is it
that comes from there?
What legacy will remain?

I must take care
what seeds I sow
for whatever comes from
this heart's core
will reproduce
the same
after its kind

And others will reap
the fruit
of my harvest

Let me leave
no bitter taste;
Better sweet avocado
than acid bitter Aloes

The Head-to-Toe of it:
Hair: [e] Locked - Red 05
Skin: al vulo!- Alice*  natural teeth cleavage sun-kissed
Eyes: Izzie's - Natural MESH Eyes lime
Eyeshadow: ee. Linter 1L promo-Lime
Eyelashes: Miamai_Catwalk Lashes_Evergreen 03 Erotica
Tattoo: [d.D] Beautiful Flower Arm Tattoo
Dress: The Secret Store - Boheme - Pop Squares
Shoes: N-core SOLEIL "Cream" BOXED
Jewelry: Dark Mouse Delicate Drama  Bangles & Earrings

52 Weeks of Color Challenge - Week 9, Dandelion

Wishing for Dandelions
Dandelions have powers
but some may not know,
You make a wish to the them
when they turn white as snow.
You tell them your wishes one by one
and then at them you blow,
You watch the seeds fly through the air
and watch your wishes flow.
So now I wish to the dandelions,
I'll name them one by one,
And then I'll take a blow at them
as soon as I am done.
A wish to be eight again
as carefree as eight comes,
So that life isn't a battlefield
like it's already become.
I wish I was with him again
like I was once before,
I wish I'd see his face again
knocking at the door.
I wish my Dad was in my life again
like he was when I was three,
Now I see him twice a month
and he can barely see me.
I wish I was more beautiful
to the naked eye,
I wish that the critics would just realize
all I can do is cry.
I wish I was closer
to my younger sister and brother
But they live with my dad
and have a different mother.
I wish I could know ahead of time
what my future life will be,
So I make no mistakes ahead of time
and not be a different me.
To the dandelions
do I now let my wishes go,
and hoping they'll be granted
on the day that they do flow.
The Head-to-Toe of it:
Hair: [e] Abbey - Red 05
Eyes: .ID. Shine Eyes v2 - Light Green
Skin: *YS & YS* Alice Cool at the Dressing Room (Freckle layer added)
Dress: coldLogic dress - reed.butter
Tanktop: JANE - intrinsic tanks Milk
Eyelashes: Miamai Mesh Catwalk Eyelashes - Delicate 02
Necklace: [boxed]ruchica 3Rings necklace-dia-
Tattoo: Kunstkammer Interactive Dandelion Tattoo
Feet: Mesh Bare feet by Slink

Blogger Challenge - My Senior Photo

I was rummaging through some old photographs and came across my senior picture, I thought I would put it up here as part of Divine Pattern's Blogger Challenge. Id be curious to see yours too! Blog your pictures and then put a link to it in the comments for this post! Oh, and just so you can have a giggle here was real me my senior year in high school:

I certainly was adorable and young! Anyway back to sorting photos! Cant wait to see yours....

The Head-to-Toe of it:
Eyes: pc eyes by LL - gold flakes - olivine
Skin: al vulo!- Polly*  natural teeth porcelain
Hair: /Wasabi Pills/ Dragon Mesh Hair - FEM - Gingerbread
Eyelashes: Miamai_Catwalk Lashes_Delicate 03
Necklace: [boxed]ruchica 3Rings necklace-dia-
Fluffy fur stole: Montagne Noire - Etole de Renard - arctic fox fur stole (tinted peach)

Donna Flora A-Z Challenge - B

Flapper by D.H. Lawrence

LOVE has crept out of her sealéd heart
  As a field-bee, black and amber,
  Breaks from the winter-cell, to clamber
Up the warm grass where the sunbeams start.
Mischief has come in her dawning eyes,
  And a glint of coloured iris brings
  Such as lies along the folded wings
Of the bee before he flies.
Who, with a ruffling, careful breath,
  Has opened the wings of the wild young sprite?
  Has fluttered her spirit to stumbling flight
In her eyes, as a young bee stumbleth?
Love makes the burden of her voice.
  The hum of his heavy, staggering wings
  Sets quivering with wisdom the common things
That she says, and her words rejoice.
The Head-to-Toe of It
Skin and Shape: Glam Affair Sakura (Skin from the dressing room)
Necklace: Quick Black and Cream Pearls from Deco
Outfit: * Donna Flora * BUNNY purple
Shoes: Flapper Shoes (White) - by Bettie's