A Letter to You

Hi There,
  You may know me, you may not. You may know of me from people or rumors or some passing fancy but I thought I would take this opportunity to introduce myself. I am Brie, I am more than pixels in this computer, I am a person. I have feelings and dreams; I have a life outside of this computer and a family. I am a mother, a future wife, a friend and these are things I was so very willing to give up because of things that happened in this computer earlier this year.
  2012 has not been so kind to me in my real life; it started with the death of my Fianc√©’s father. A man we took care of till the day he died. We found him in his bed; there was nothing we could do for him. It was an extremely traumatic experience and one I don’t think we still after many, many months have been able to process. We had barely began to really deal with that grief when not even 2 months later, my Grandmother passed on back in California. It was sudden, unexpected and very difficult for my daughter and I. My Grandmother was a very large part of my life, she raised me as a child and for all intent and purpose, was more my Mother than my own biological Mother. When she died, all the family I had outside my Sammi died with her and I was left virtually alone.
  You are probably wondering why I am telling you all of this. It is because after these very hard real life things happened, things in Second Life became very bad for me. I had to give up my store, which I had put my heart and soul into for well over a year and I had become the target of some very hateful and really unnecessary actions by others. People I had loved and trusted suddenly were just so very much not what I had known all the time I had been friends with them. I was left utterly alone in my computer.
  I never understood how someone you can’t see could have such an adverse effect on you till these few months this year. I always heard of people being bullied online and we all have seen the bandwagon drama Plurk can bring out but I never understood how absolutely crushing it could be to have people who don’t even know you, hate you so much. I learned the hard way, it wasn’t pretty but I did learn.
  Those people have moved on to other things and I am certain their effect on me they will never really know. In those few months I really was at the lowest I have felt since I buried my son. I really didn’t see much value in myself as a person; I thought I had no place on this earth. It took my beloved to remind me that I AM worth something to someone. And that at the end of the day all the hurt that is in this computer cannot compare one moment with the love I have outside of it.
  I am 37 years old and I allowed myself to succumb to the view someone projected on me because I forgot that I can just turn the computer off and walk away and all the good in my life is STILL THERE. I am still a great mom, a fairly awesome life partner and been told I am a wonderful friend. I would still give you my last $20 if you were hungry. So, in the end…. Those people didn’t win. I am still me. I am still happy. I am still loved.
  I didn’t come to this conclusion overnight, it took months of stepping back from the computer and really focusing on me and my family and doing what I needed to do for us to be ok.  I have come back because for every 1 hateful thing someone has said to me, 10 others have been amazing and wonderful. I have made some great friendships in this computer and I refuse to allow anyone to rob me of those friendships. I will not allow this computer or anyone in it get in the way of me being happy.
  So I end this little letter by thanking each and every one of you who has touched my life in this computer. Because good or bad, I came out of it a better person than I was before all of this year happened. And for those who feel despair at the hands of the invisible people on the other end of the internet, remember you are wonderful and you bless so many people by being here. Don’t let anyone rob you of your born right to be happy, and to surround yourself with love. I am sure many of you are probably rolling your eyes or thinking I’m full of it. But for this one person who reads this and feels better, I think it was worth being really honest with everyone.
Thank you for taking the time to read this.


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