Today's "Word Of The Day" - VERTIGO


ver·ti·go - [vur-ti-goh] 

noun, plural ver·ti·goes, ver·tig·i·nes [ver-tij-uh-neez] 

1.a dizzying sensation of tilting within stable surroundings or of being in tilting or spinning surroundings.
 I hope you all had an amazing weekend. Mine was rather quiet and spent at home. I haven't been feeling so well so I have been trying to just take things easy. Which basically means, I lay in bed and do my impression of a potato. Not terribly productive but sometimes, very necessary.
  For those who don't know me so well, I was diagnosed with Meniere's Disease in 2008.  It is an auto-immune disease that effects the inner bony labyrinth of the ear. That is the snail shaped innermost part of your ear that contains fluids that control balance for the human body. It came on suddenly, with no real rhyme or reason and has been a constant in my life ever since. It has symptoms from vertigo to tinnitus (ringing in the ears) and hearing loss. It effects people usually over 40 and in one ear, I am a rare occurrence as I was 33 and I have it in both ears not just one. It has left me unable to work and about 53% hearing impaired, soon I will need to get hearing aids and eventually I will be mostly if not completely deaf.
  Before I got sick I moved here from San Francisco, I had a good job as a bookkeeper for a private charter school  I was really content in my life. When I became sick I had to seek out doctors who took me serious because of my age and the "normal" circumstances of Meniere's patients... it took me over a year to get a actual diagnosis. The craziest part was my own doctor did not diagnose me, the Ear, Nose and Throat doctor that the Social Security Disability people had check me over found this is what happened to me.It has been a true test of patience and knowing trusting that someone would finally take me serious and treat me appropriately. 
  I was really angry for a long time because I truly felt it was unfair to be sick like this. But I have come to the point now I see it as a blessing. It is the universe's way of telling me to slow down, focus on what is important and cherish it. Someday it will no longer be there so embrace it today with all you have. If I hadn't been sick, I would not have the time, real quality time, with my daughter.  I would be working all the time and by the time I got home, just too exhausted to do anything. Volunteering at her school? Never happen. I would not be able to take time from my financial duties to go on field trips and help out with her classroom activities. I wouldn't still be on Second Life, I would have abandoned that long ago. And though it isn't all awesome in there, I create art in the pictures I take and contribute something in the items I create. So, there is a reason for everything... even if I would rather not be so dizzy I fall down, take medication that makes me sleep all day and have to ask people to repeat themselves 128347392 times in a conversation. 
  So you are wondering what the hell is my point? It is this, everything happens for a reason and we all have a choice when given the circumstances of our life. I choose to take it and try to be positive. I could really be miserable and treat everyone horrible and end up alone. But I am choosing to make the most of the time I have because I want to go to my grave with amazing memories. When I meet my son in heaven someday I want to be able to tell him all of the amazing parts of my life, I live for him because he could not.


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