I want to make an admission because I know it is the only way I can feel better. This whole situation has had a huge toll on me emotionally, I have tried to put a smile on my face but I can not any longer. I have lost so many things in the last year and as hard as I am trying to bounce back from it, I can't. I feel dreadfully alone even with having Walter and Sammi here. I just want to go lay in my bed and cry till I sleep and pray I never wake up. I have dealt with being Bipolar since I was 14 years old (I am nearly 38 now) and have always found ways to channel my feelings but all the negativity and general saddness lately, I am finding it harder and harder to be strong.
On Sunday you all who love the SL Secrets found this image:
I am telling you this all because like all my posts, I hope to God I am not alone. I sincerely hope there is someone out there who has the same battle going on inside so I can know that this is going to end and get better some day. I hope that all those who dwell on the small stuff can understand there is a bigger picture, that your actions truly do effect the lives of others and even if this is just a "Game" and only "on the computer" that I am a real person, my heart is really hurting, I just want to be happy. I dont want to be treated like a doormat, or targeted by people who are petty and just want to watch me suffer I want my life a month ago, where I felt safe and I thought everything was finally going to work out.
Anyway as always thank you for letting me put this out there because I needed to get that out, I needed my theraputic cry. Now Im going to go wash my face and put my smile back on and try to do my best to get through the rest of the day.
Happy Rezday to Me (insert sarcastic eyeroll here)
Brie
3 comments:
I love you. Even though Im a "pixel" daughter, you are a rl friend to me. You are human. We all make mistakes. We all go through things.. but in times like this.. you lean on the people who love you. Myself, Cliff, Daisy, Pay-Bunny, Laila, Mickie, Maddy, etc.. Love you for you. Human mistakes and all. That is what defines a person. You live and you learn. Even at 38 YOU are NEVER an embarrassment to me or my family. I am proud to call you mom and a friend. <3
Brie, I'm sorry your going through this and I'm sorry I can't help you in any real way except to lend an ear and maybe some comforting words. But if you ever need that I am always here. xxx
In this world, you are never alone. No matter the distance, time or pain you will never stand alone. I know it is easy to feel alone, but you are so cherished by so many people. Those who have broken you down, I am truly sad for them. They have missed moments with someone that is a astonishing person. I couldn't and wouldn't ever want to think about this world without you. Just the thought breaks me down to nothing. You my best friend, my blessing, my twinnie, you are loved more then you could ever know. I don't remember my life without you and I never want to. Regardless, of what has happened and I know how much it has done to you... I love you more for your mistakes. It doesn't show me that you are a embarrassment it shows me that you are human.
You will rise from this, when you do, turn around and see who has forever been standing behind you. Those people are the ones that will always be there, those people are the ones that will never judge you for your flaws, those people are the ones that understand you and don't care that you are bipolar. Those people are the ones that when you feel like you can't carry on.. will carry you through any heartache, storm, fire or broken moments in life.
You came along
When I needed you most
You held my hand
You held me close
You showed me that tomorrow
The sun will shine
And that life isn’t bad
All of the time
You gave me a shoulder
To firmly lean on
When I felt all alone
And less than strong
You helped me to see
The light at the end
And I’m never on my own
Because I have a friend
And each night I find
The brightest star
And thank God for you
And your generous heart
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