DEFEATED
verb (used with object)
1.to overcome in a contest, election, battle, etc.; prevail over; vanquish: They defeated the enemy. She defeated her brother at tennis.
2.to frustrate; thwart.
3.to eliminate or deprive of something expected: The early returns defeated his hopes of election.
4.Law. to annul.
noun
5.the act of overcoming in a contest: an overwhelming defeat of all opposition.
6.an instance of defeat; setback: He considered his defeat a personal affront.
7.an overthrow or overturning; vanquishment: the defeat of a government.
8.a bringing to naught; frustration: the defeat of all his hopes and dreams.
9.the act or event of being bested; losing: Defeat is not something she abides easily.
10.Archaic. undoing; destruction; ruin.
Well, half the week is over, I really wish it would just hurry the hell up already and be over. I am having a rotten day, I feel like I am literally under the boot of life, beaten and battered and unable to get up. Its amazing how you think things are going to be ok and then WHAM! the chair is kicked from under you and you are looking like an idiot with egg on her face.
I have had many people tell me not to let this stuff get me down, to reopen my store and to just go on and not care what other people think. It is really hard to get through to them, maybe writing this I can just say what I need to and be done with it all. The single most hurtful and really the thing I struggle most with the entire situation is that the person is someone I know, most likely trusted and maybe even considered a friend. It is what I toss around in my head over and over that someone who I trusted decided that everything I worked hard for over 2 and a half years had to go because I made a mistake. It is really simple to say they are jealous, call them haters and tell me to get over. Thing is I CANT. I care, its who I am, I am the kind of person who doesnt hide behind anonymous crap so the fact that I dont know who has such a axe to grind with me, it eats at me and I am sure this is exactly what they wanted, so bravo.
My friend Gaby was trying to show me how much support I still have out there and posted a survey online asking people if they bought stuff from em in the past, if they would in the future and the like and again my old friend anonymous had to put their own 2 cents in there on that too. I really didn't understand how much you truly dislike me until she shared with me your words. Calling me a joke and making sure to elaborate on how I am the laughing stock of the community really opened my eyes to things I think I have been trying to avoid. I am sorry you feel the need to kick a person when they are down, I may suggest you take a bit and look inside yourself to see what is going on that you feel you have the right to be like this to other people.
So to Gaby, to my parents, my twin, my kids, I wont be opening any store for kids anytime ever. I enjoy building this absolutely wounds me that I need to do this but besides crafting a gift for my grandkids or friends kids, I don't see this as a viable avenue in my future. I feel as though all the work and time I put into things I created isn't worth a thing anymore because of one stupid choice I made (which I have very openly apologized for so yeah anonymous I owned up to it because I am an adult and we adults do that sort of thing). My heart is breaking as I write this because I truly loved contributing something to Second Life, I was proud that someday when I felt I didn't need to play anymore, a part of me would remain there. But now I feel like I am leaving a legacy to be ashamed of, I truly feel defeated when I just am trying to get through life.
So yeah, you there who has that shit eating grin on your face, no worries I wont be making anything overpriced and low quality for you to worry yourself over in the future, you win. If making a huge mistake over a year ago makes me a loser then a loser I must be. Id love to tell you to kiss my ass and get on with things, but really, you are a ghost... and I have more class than that.
XOXO,
Brie
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